Darla's Train

The afternoon sun set low outside the window and perfectly laid across Darla’s face. The rays caused her to squint as she came to. Everything was exactly how she remembered it. The muffled rumble under her feet, the shiny brass rails, and the blurred passing of the countryside all brought her to a place that felt like home.

She could hear the murmurings of conversation and the clinking of teacups and saucers. An invigorating aroma of garlic and oil captivated her and awakened her further by making her stomach rumble. “I’m a bit hungry. I just hope I haven’t missed meal service” she thought with her first waking thoughts.

It took her a few minutes to get her wits about her, but once she was ready, she decided to sit up and make her presence known. She had a feeling she knew what was about to happen. She poked her head up above the seat in front of her.

“Darla’s here!”, a voice shouted.

An eruption of jubilee began to break out throughout the car.

Darla had been finding herself on this train on and off for a while now. It may seem odd, but Darla knew virtually nothing about this train. It’s not like she ever bought a ticket or intentionally tried to get on this train. It sometimes just… happened. All she really knew was that when she was there, she had friends.

A line formed in the center aisle to greet her. She embraced them all with charisma and kindness, calling them each by name.

“Hi Daniel, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Gigi! Wow your dress is so pretty!”

“Did you get a new puppy, Bella?”

This continued for several minutes while the line thinned out as everyone returned to their seats, until there was only one greeting left to be had.

“Well, well, well. Look who finally woke up?”, a girl said with a smirk as she went in for a hug.

“Hi, Beebee. Good to see you too.”

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Beebee was Darla’s best friend on the train. She was a soft, kind, larger-than-life figure with a quick wit and a tendency for the comedic. Beebee loved to make people laugh and was always working a conversational angle. Darla had always admired Beebee because, in a way, she aspired to be more like Beebee. Beebee was strong and adventurous, and for years Darla had watched her do things that Darla dreamed of accomplishing one day. The last time Darla was on the train, she watched Beebee entertain a crowd by playing the piano and leading singalongs. Darla got shy anytime she was in front of people.

The two of them also fought a lot, as best friends often do. Darla was fiercely independent, and never wanted help from anybody – Which was sometimes a problem, because Beebee always wanted to help everybody. Whether they were playing, working, or resting, they found themselves in some version of this exchange all too frequently:

“What if you try it this way Darla?”

“NO, Beebee! I can do it by myself!”

Almost instantly the mood would transition from peaceful to hostile. Things always escalated quickly in their relationship. They’d end up screaming at one another, each trying more desperately with every passing word to get the other to understand their intentions. As quickly as it would escalate, it would just as soon calm. They’d always come back down and apologize to one another, then carry on as if nothing had ever happened.

Something about Beebee that you should probably know– She was pink. Well, honestly, she would be quick to tell you she was actually “blush”, but the average person would probably paint her with a broad brush of pink. This is only of note, because most everyone else on the train was blue.

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Once the initial greetings subsided, Darla returned to her seat. It felt great to be back. Her stomach rumbled again, and she picked up a menu from the tray in front of her and began to glance over it. What was it going to be today? The sandwiches all looked lovely. “Perhaps I’ll try tomato soup today” she thought. She looked up and noticed a group sitting around a table near the front of the car having afternoon tea. She loved afternoon tea! She was a little sad to have missed it.

As she looked around the room, she couldn’t help but notice that something was… different. Normally you could find most everyone playing games together, or sitting around telling stories, or playing music and singing silly songs. But today, outside of the group having tea, everyone seemed a little more concerned than normal. Several people were looking out the window, as if they were studying the ground, and those who were moving about the car were doing so in a very hurried state.

It seemed like people were whispering about Darla, as if they were keeping a secret from her. She couldn’t quite put a finger on why people were acting strange. She tapped on the person in front of her, who was named Eyeball. (Eyeball wasn’t his real name, but it had been his nickname for as long as Darla had known him. Nobody knows why.)

“Hey, Eyeball, is everything ok today?”

“I think for right now it is, Darla.”

“Why do you say it like that?”

“Well, I.. um. Here’s the thing – I think.. I don’t know how to say this”

“Just tell her!”, Daniel chimed in from across the aisle. Daniel was a lanky fellow with dark blue stripes, and he was always eager to add his voice into a conversation. Daniel’s directive flustered Eyeball.

“She needs to know”, Daniel continued.

“Well, I think this is all going to be over soon Darla.” stammered Eyeball.

“What do you mean?” Darla asked.

Suddenly a booming voice came over the intercom.

“Your time is almost up!” the voice thundered. The train whistle let out a bellowing “chhhoooooooo” and the engine picked up in pace. The wheels started chugging faster as the rumble from under the floorboard increased.

“Nooooo!” someone yelled from tea table. “We must finish our tea now! Hurry!” Each member of the group began to throw back their teacups, and shove food into their mouths. A few of them turned over their chairs in haste. The mood in the car quickly became a little more tense.

Darla didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. She had heard the voice just like everyone else, but it didn’t scare her at all. She chose to just ignore it for now and continue looking over her menu. She decided for sure that she wanted to try the tomato soup. Her mouth started to water at the very thought of tasting that smooth and savory flavor. She was pretty sure that tomato soup was the lovely smell she kept smelling.

“Darla! What are you doing?”

A clearly flustered Beebee sat down beside Darla.

“Didn’t you hear? Our time is almost up! We have to gooooo!” Beebee exclaimed.

“No, Beebee. I haven’t eaten yet, and I’m very hungry. I’m going to order some food.”

“We don’t have time for that! What if, instead, you..”

“NO, BEEBEE! I’M GOING TO EAT!”, Darla cut off Beebee and screamed at her. This caused Beebee to huff in frustration. Darla ignored this and returned to her menu, motioning for a waiter to come over.

The wait staff on this train was always so kind, if not a little unusual. Today’s waiter was Gerald, who came over to Darla in a freshly-pressed tuxedo with a clean towel draped over his arm. Gerald was a member of the Elevated Swine community – as in, he was an eloquently speaking, well-dressed, properly groomed pig.

“Good afternoon, Miss Darla. I’m so glad you’ve decided to dine with us this evening. How may I assist you?”

“Good afternoon, Gerald! I would like to order some tomato soup, please. Oh, and perhaps a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade”

“Right away, madam.” Gerald said, as he laid the towel on the tray in front of Darla and scurried back to the kitchen.

Darla’s indifference to the perceived urgency frustrated Beebee. “Darla, listen.” she said. I know you heard that announcement. And I know you know what that means. We have a job to do.”

The overhead voice came on again. “This is your five-minute warning!”

The train picked up pace again, and the engine roared louder as Beebee got visibly more tense. The train was now traveling at a borderline reckless speed, and it didn’t seem there was any chance of it slowing down. Beebee knew she was going to have to act with or without Darla’s help.

Beebee left Darla’s side and began running around to each person on the train, trying to get them to hide. “Crawl in here!” she commanded, as she opened the storage compartment beneath their seat. Several people resisted, and Beebee tried very hard to get them to comply. She forced them into the compartment and sat on the lid, if she had to. She knew if she didn’t get them hidden away, things would not end well for them. She still had vivid memories of when her friend George didn’t properly hide before time was up. He ended up being taken and was gone for what felt like an eternity.

Beebee was determined to never let that happen again.

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Darla was getting VERY hungry. She looked down at the towel in front of her and wondered when Gerald would return with her soup. The warm aroma of roasted tomatoes seemed to be getting stronger every minute. She needed something to pass the time.

“Hey Daniel, hey Eyeball! Let’s play a game!”

“Ooooo I LOVE games!”, Daniel said.

“Can it be ‘call-me-phone?’” asked Eyeball.

Darla loved playing ‘call-me-phone’. It was a simple game where one person would pretend to call the other with a request, that person would answer with some sort of unexpected response, and an absurd scenario between the two would inevitability unfold. It was a game of conversational creativity, imagination, and wit, with the eventual winner being whoever could out-imagine the other. Darla winked at Eyeball.

“Ring ring…. Ring ring…..” She said as she held her hand up to her ear.

“Hello, thank you for calling the party store. How may I help you?” answered Eyeball.

“Do you have anything for a carrot party?” fired back Darla.

“Oh yes, we have many items for the perfect carrot party. We’ve got carrot cakes, carrot tops, 24-carrot rings. Whatever you need!”

Beebee overheard what was happening from across the car. It didn’t matter what task she was trying to accomplish - if she knew there was game of ‘call-me-phone’ happening, she could never resist jumping in. She forgot all about how fast the train was going.

“Ring ring…. Ring ring… RING RING” interjected Beebee.

“Oh, if you’ll excuse me for just a second, I’ve got a call on the other line”, said Eyeball. He pretended to beep his phone over. “Hello, thank you for calling the party store. How may I help you?”

“Hi there! I know you have Part E’s there, but do you have Part A’s or Part B’s? Even a Part C would do.” grinned Beebee.

The rest of the crew groaned at the pun, which only made Beebee prouder.

“TIME IS UP!”

The voice on the intercom shook the car louder than ever. The train increased its power ten-fold and the roar of the engine turned thunderous. Windows started to break, and the entire car shook furiously. This sent Beebee into a full-on frenzy.

“WE HAVE TO GO, DARLA! DANIEL! EYEBALL! GET IN HERE!!!” she screamed, trying to get her friends to hide.

“No, Beebee!” yelled Darla. “We are not done with our game!”

“The game is over! We must go now!” exclaimed Beebee.

"Then GO!!", Darla screamed.

Beebee jumped out of a window and disappeared into the abyss. Darla was not bothered by this at all. She was perfectly content to stay put until Gerald returned with her food.

The wonderful smell was now overwhelming her, and her stomach growled louder than ever before. “I hope they’re serving some freshly baked bread with the soup today”, she thought. She imagined what it must look like for Gerald to get a loaf of bread out of the oven. How could he even do that, with his big pig belly? The very thought of it made Darla chuckle.

As she looked around the car, she saw the table that hosted the tea party was turned over and dishes were scattered through the car. The rumble of the runaway train now felt like an earthquake. The floorboards began to crack, and the roof started to blow off. All of Darla’s friends were gone. Still, Darla remained seated.

“It’s time!” The overhead voice thundered.

The voice sounded familiar this time.

“Darla! Playtime is over. Your toys better be put away. Dinner is ready!”

Darla suddenly realized where she was. She looked around her room and noticed that her big sister had already gone into the kitchen. Her mother called to her one more time.

“Come on, Darla! We’re having spaghetti and garlic bread!”