Dangerous Illusion State Of Fear
I sit back on the train, trying to gather my thoughts. I can't believe this is happening. I'm going to die on this train.
Olivia lays unconscious not at all aware that she is abroad an unstoppable force as the train hurtles through dark forest, deadly deserts and across bridges looming over rivers. Olivia suddenly wakes up from her trance like state jolted across the seat. She had been zoning out for hours, lost in her own thoughts and fears. Glancing around, she realizes she is on a speeding train and she is the only one on it. She attempts to shale herself awake, clenching her teeth looking around feverishly.
She tries to remember how she got here. It was like a nightmare everything was a blur and nothing made sense at all. The last thought she remembers was getting into a heated argument with her husband about their divorce. He told her he wanted to end things and that sent Olivia in a tails spin. She also had been grieving the loss of her mother and this was just to much for her to handle.
Olivia begin to panic as memories of her fight with her husband come flooding back. The words " I want a divorce and I'm going to TAKE Isabel" spewing violently from his mouth. He chuckles, " I'm going to leave you alone to die on this train. No one is coming to save you." She shakes her head in disgust trying to gather her thoughts.
But then I hear my Mom's voice in my head, telling me to get up and find my way out here."Mom?" I say out loud, panic rising in my voice as I see her ghostly figure appearing before me. "Get up Olivia, get up!" she shouts at me and disappears into the darkness. And finally something snapped in me and I had to get up and start looking for a way out of this train car.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my racing heart. I know that the dark forces are watching, and they're waiting for someone brave enough to stand up against them. But I'm not ready to give up yet. There's still a chance that this is all just a dream. A nightmare that I can wake up from any time now.
I look around the train, trying to get my bearings but the train is moving so fast. I can hear the screeching of the tracks and metal clinging together. Everything seems so different now. Last thing I remember is sitting in my apartment looking out the window staring at the train passing by. " How the hell did I get on this train and where am I going?" Maybe this is just a dream after all? I fell asleep and now I can't wake up that's all. Yeah this is all just a dream. I close my eyes trying to think of how I got on this train.
I hear a sound behind me, my eyes pop open and I spin around quickly. But there is nothing there. The train is deserted or at least it seems that way. I can't help but feel like somebody's watching me. The darkness seems to have a life of its own. It's thick and palpable, almost like you could reach out and touch it. Aand it's always there, haunting you, taunting you, until you can't take anymore. I can't help but wonder what's hiding in the shadows, waiting to be revealed.
As I my body and mind start to come fully awake on this empty train car, all I can think is where am I and how did I get here? The only thing left to do now is figure out why I'm on this train and where it's taking me. And then I remember my baby girl. Isabel. I start to panic as the last thing I remember is being in my apartment holding her before she fell asleep by the window. Hearing the sound of the rumble soothes her to sleep when the train is passing by. Waiting there peacefully listening to coos and rumbles of the tracks I tend to doze off myself.
Now all of sudden, I'm worried about what could have happened to her while I was sleeping. Suddenly I hear her cries coming from somewhere down the aisle and I begin frantically making my way through the speeding train cars until I finally reach the nothing. I looked around for an exit door on the train but there wasn't one! We must be traveling in an endless loop or something because when I looked out the windows all I could see were trees flying by in a blur.
I start to panic as memories of being in my apartment with my baby girl flashed through my mind. I search my pockets for anything that could help me find my daughter, when suddenly lights flicker and go out altogether. In complete darkness. I try not to breathe as sounds of things moving around echo in the carriage. Whatever it is I don't want it to hear the sounds of me breathing. The darkness holds many secrets. It seems to have a life of its own. I can't help but wonder what's hiding in the shadows, waiting to be revealed.
In complete darkness, panic takes over as sounds echos around me without any sources or clues to what they're coming from. This is just more proof this isn't some kind of joke played by friends who have always know how much fear frightens me to death. Things moving back and forth between the seats echoes so loudly they're almost tangible (even though no light shines). The darkness is deafening as I wait for whatever 's hiding in the shadows to reveal itself.
In the darkness, I could barely make out the figure of the little girl. She looked so familiar.. " Olivia," she muttered in a soft voice. "Do you remember me?"
I shook my head, trying to clear the fear from my mind. I didn't know who this little girl was, but seemed to know me. "It's me," she added again. "Do you remember when we used to play together? We would go to the park and swing and the swings?"
She sounded so sad, and I found myself starting to remember her. The little girl staring back at me was me. We played together years ago. I missed those days "yes" I replied quietly. "I remember"
"I miss you," she said, tears streaming down her face" I miss playing with you."
Tears welled up in my own eyes as I remembered all the fun we'd had together. But then she disappeared one day and I never saw her again. Now, after all these years, she was back. " I miss you too," I stuttered tearfully.
We sit there in silence for a few moments before she finally speaks again breaking that fragile moment between us. "I love you Olivia, I never got to tell you that before you left. I have always wanted to tell you I forgive you and it's not your fault, nothing was your fault." I insisted "We are okay now." But I know she has always wondered and worried about me. She looks innocently at me and says "you can let me go and find your purpose. Live life free from the pain of our past."
She nods and the vision of the little girl that was once me disappears from the train seat. I close my eyes as I feel the train's hastiness make its way through the tracks and say I close my eyes think to myself "I love you too." Feeling warmth spread through me and the train starts to slow down. When I open my eyes again, there's my little girl in my arms again I'm in my apartment again by the window listening to the train rumble by. I hug my baby girl tightly. I whisper," I love you too." and close my eyes.
About the author
Freckles and Lemonade is a Writer, Creative Thinker and Content Creator of many sorts. She loves to use her talents to help others find their light. Writing has always been a passion of hers.