Confessions Of A Retail Demon Hunter

“Eve, time to wake up!”

I was never a morning person, maybe I should have thought about that before I became a parent. Like a lot of people, I didn’t think before I became a parent. Anyhow, getting up at an ungodly hour to get your kid up for school is part of the deal. I push myself to go into the kitchen to make some coffee. Eve finally makes her way out of her bedroom, looking like she had some great evil done to her. She walks into the bathroom and slams the door. It’s her first day of fifth grade, I hope it goes well. When she is done in the bathroom it’s my turn, I get to start my new job today, whoopee.

Super-J Big Stores is the leading retailer in the country. Once a tiny five in dime when they first opened 50 years ago in 1970 they are now a giant of retail. They started in the mid-west, then spread to every state in the U.S., then when overseas. Selling everything from groceries to clothing to hardware, they have become the first choice of convenience shoppers everywhere. We had just moved to the eastern shore to get away from the city and my soon-to-be ex-husband. Super -J was one of the area’s biggest employers and I needed a job.

The first day was orientation. There were two other new people beside me. Tara was going to the service desk, Jerry, an older man was going to be a greeter and I was to be a cashier. Christmas was only 4 months away so they were taking almost all applicants. We were ushered into the Human Resources office in the back of the large building. The room was not too big, enough for a long conference table and some training computers which were set up another long table along the wall. Seated at the conference table we met Barb, the HR manager. She welcomed us and began going over the long lists of behaviors that were and were not allowed while employed for Super-J. First, we watched a video discussing that we did not need a union working for the company. I was terribly confused by this because no one had said anything about unions up to this point in the hiring process. Maybe I was missing some important information but why mention it if no one else had? Barb then began telling us the rules on absenteeism, lateness, and general goofy off. After filling out tax and direct deposit forms we were given a 15-minute break. Tara immediately pulled out her cell phone. Jerry began talking with Barb and I went to find some caffeine.

When I came back to the office Jerry was explaining how aliens lived among us and could be in the store shopping right now. Barb seemed to be doing her best to be polite and listened knowing we would have to get back to our business soon. Tara never looked up, apparently, she was in an intense messaging session since she never bothered to acknowledge anything he was saying.

Barb brought our attention back to the task at hand. There were more videos about how wonderful it will be to work there and then, courses on the computer we needed to complete. A knock came on the office door and a woman popped her head in.

“ Hey Barb, sorry to interrupt, can I get those reports from you?”

“ Well sure Estela, come on in.”

Estela was medium height, with long black hair. Barb introduced her to all of us and Estela smiled in a sinister way that gave me a cold chill. It wasn’t just the smile, but the expression behind the smile, she looked as if she was figuring which one of us she wanted to suck the soul out of first. I put my head down pretending to read the employee handbook open in front of me on the table. I thought I had better not make a bad impression, that would happen soon enough, I was sure of that. Barb got Estella her reports and chatted a few minutes before she turned toward the door to leave.

“ I look forward to working with all of you”

That moment my eyes met hers, I was stunned. Estela smiled her huge smile and behind that, her eyes were orange, not amber, not brown, but orange. I couldn’t turn away and her smile began to look even more menacing. I turn back to Barb and the group pretending like nothing was wrong. Estela left the office. I’m I seeing things? What the hell!