Chocolate Cake Dreams.

Hi Im Jessica, im currently sat in a coffee shop enjoying a slice of chocolate cake and a cup of tea. I must confess I eat a lot of chocolate cake, more than your average person, but there is a reason for that if you would like to hear about it?

Great! Ok, here goes.. it was 3 years ago and I was in the middle of the worst case of insomnia I had ever had. I was Sat on My red leather sofa with darker red leather buttons, in my penthouse apartment, my eye lids were so heavy, but I just couldn't keep them closed. I was Trapped in a my own exhaustion, desperate for the heavenly slumber I so desired. I remember my plate with a half eaten chicken sandwich and a glass of red wine on the solid oak coffee table in my living room. I had tried everything upto this point, sleeping pills, a glass of whiskey before bed. Nothing worked, I mean nothing. All I wanted was to sleep. Little did i know, this would be my last evening without sleep, everything was about to change.

I had suffered with insomnia most of my adult life. I'd been to visit my doctors, but they just told me to get more exercise and change my diet, Try these sleeping pill they said, Start doing yoga, nothing worked.

I was slouched across the sofa like a rag doll in suit pants. With the T.V remote in hand, brushing across the channel button flicking past news and T.V shows. I couldn't hold my attention anywhere near long enough to get into anything, but it was helping my sanity, and made me hang onto at least a feeling of vaig normality.

I worked in a tall office block half a mile away from my luxury apartment. I'm a Lawyer you see, i'd been working mainly in Small claims and Business to business lawsuits. customer suing restaurants for food poisoning, that kind of thing. I'm used to working on a lack of sleep, I had, had to learn to live with it. I had become close friends with Mr Red bull and other carbonated high caffeine energy drinks. I drunk 10 - 15 coffee's a day and I was hooked on sugar. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely hard working and well liked around the office. A 37 year with a good sense of humour in a suit, is how I'd describe myself, but I had deep dark bags under my eyes which would often raise suspicion of substance abuse problems and such, I brushed of the suspicions, and i attempted to cover up the bags with makeup, but unfortunately it didn't help me ultimately as sleep and rest, was what I desired more than anything else in this world.

Anyway, It was a Wednesday evening, the skies outside dark grey. I let out a big sigh as I slouched further into the sofa because I could barely stay upright. 'BRRING BRRING - BBBRING BBRING' I hear..my head sluggishly turns and I reaches out for my telephone.

'Hello?' I call out into the mouthpiece of the phone, hopefully. Like its going to be the solution to all my issues on the other end.. 'Hi Jessica its your Mother!... are you ok dear? 'oh hi mom, mmyeah im ok. just watching T.V' 'I replied. 'No sleep yet tonight then?' mother asked. 'I had about 20 minutes earlier and 15 minutes in the office, but nothing great to report, mom I am sooo tired' I replied. 'ok, well, don't forget to do your meditation! and do some yoga tomorrow, these are all recommended to help you sleep' Jessica's mother told her. I replied 'Mehhh, blaahhh, ok mom love you' as I let the phone slide out of her hand landing on the floor aimlessly.

I lay my head on the hard arm of the leather sofa. As I looked at the T.V.. it seemed to have lost signal. Hmm, what's this? I was staring into a grey and black fuzz flickering and giving off a strange white noise sound, I stared into the blur, My ears pricked taking in the low buzz. I did not have enough energy to get up and smack the thing. So I just sat and stared. I don't know for how long, That's all I remember.

I rubbed my eyes long and hard. Yawned for the 3 millionth time that evening, but When I opened my eyes.. I shit you not.. to My unexplainable amazement, I was in the middle of the greenest most beautiful lush field I had ever seen! It woke me straight up. The only thing in the field was my red sofa, the T.V still flickering despite not being plugged into anything.. which I thought was strange, and of course me. The whole thing was so surreal but at the same time it felt so real. I jolted up off the sofa standing firm upright like a soldier standing to attention. Only my eyes slowly moving from side to side in my head. WHAT THE EFFFFF I thought. My mind spinning like a whirlwind. I turned round 180 degrees, what is this? am I dreaming? am I dead?? did I take too many sleeping pills?? what the hell is going on?? arghhhh!!

Deep breaths, Jessica deep breaths I said to myself. I started to walk across the green field and I can still smell the fresh air and flowers, but there's no sound, its completely silent. At the far end of the field the grass starts to raise like a hill or mound and I can see a single tree in the distance.

I walk up the mound of grass unsure of what reality this is. As I approach the purple fuzzy tree, I hear the sound of a tune being whistled, I see's 2 little legs with pink shoes popping out the bottom, there's someone, or something! sat at the other side of the tree. I slowly and cautiously go round to see what the legs are attached too.

Slowly my eyes trace from the shoes up the legs, up the torso and I see a face, it's a little person! a dwarf is how I guess I would describe him. He had tight pants, a stripy green shirt and a black flat cap on his head. He was reading a book, then, I noticed it on the cover of the dark purple hard back book it said 'Jessica's mind' I took an uneasy step back, my jaw dropped, almost stumbling in amazement i gazed at the books cover.

'Oh hello there' the small chap said lowering his book to his lap. 'You must be Jessica! iv been waiting for you' He continued with a huge grin on his face. 'Who are you, I said, 'where am I?' I continued. 'Well your in your mind of course' he went on 'This is a dream Jessica, a lucid dream, you are in your mind, this tree, me and this field are all constructs of your unconscious imagination. 'Then who are you?' I asked 'I'm a construct of your mind too! you created me, for what I don't know.. but I'm sure we can find out' if anyone can its you! the chap explained optimistically.

He stood up, and we began to walk around the field, I explained I had not been able to sleep, although actually I was really just telling myself about my own problems! but still there was no-one else here. We were a while off reaching the other end of the field. So i decided to ask him, or me..some questions.

'Why is it so silent', I asked ' he replied 'don't you like it? my guess would be you are in need of some silence in your mind, especially since your around the hustle and bustle all day everyday. 'Hmm, makes sense' I replied. He went on 'Jessica, if you don't find the silence in your mind then you are never truly centred, you have no place to rest and just be, you are caught up in the turmoil of not only your own frantic thoughts, but other peoples too! 'well I guess so when you explain it like that' I said

For so long I had been pushing and pushing my mind to work well with hardly any rest, and in a very stressful environment, among many other fast paced stressed out people. Once he explained this, it was like a switch had been flipped in my mind. From now on I thought, I'm only going to invest into the thoughts that serve me positively, as who know who else has put all these thoughts in my head in the first place, especially the amount of people I talk to on a daily basis.

He went on ' Jessica you don't spend enough time in Nature, always rushing around in the city' You are missing out on all this fresh naturally recycled air from this grass and plants. I nodded down at the little chap.

We finally reached the end of the beautiful field, and he turned to stand facing me and asked 'what is your favourite food' I looked at him unable to think of a legitimate answer. He snapped his fingers and to my surprise a small serving table appeared in front of him with a silver shiny dish cover with a silver shiny top on it. He lifted the top and revealed the most amazing delicious looking chocolate cake id ever seen, which reminded me of when i was a young girl growing up, my Grandmother used to make the most incredible chocolate cake for me and my brother every weekend when we went round for dinner on Sunday. I used to look forward to it all week. She passed away when i was 25. Come to think of it that's around the time my insomnia got really bad. The little chap cut two slices and we stood there in that field and ate the most delicious chocolate cake together, when we finished he said 'don't forget, come back to nature and find the silence, oh and .. chocolate cake contains Tryptophan (which helps you sleep) i hope you will come back to see me again sometime Jessica' He snapped his tiny fingers and gave me a wink, And I was back in my apartment. I could swear i could still taste the rich chocolate in my mouth. Anyway since that day iv made it a rule i go to my favourite café every weekend and get a slice of chocolate cake, And iv slept soundly every night since.