"Castle, in The Grasp"

She has done it again, the same she does every day, as she approached the door, she thinks to herself, "I made it on time" in confirmation to fulfill her need to please. Everyday exactly at 6:30 am, 14-year-old Somarah makes it to her back door after going through a series of steps she has manufactured into a morning routine consisting of the usual personal hygiene tasks, but not limited to steps to prevent Somarah from experiencing an internal meltdown.

These steps are ritual and rhythmic in helping her feel secure as she prepares herself to exit home for the day ahead. "One, two, three", she counts in her head as she locks and unlocks the bathroom door latch three times before she can get started. Eating her usual breakfast of honey nut grains with a glass of orange juice but having to sit the cereal box down after every time she pours a little cereal, never more than three times into her favorite big white bowl.

Lastly, tidying up her room, she makes her bed and though nothings out of place, she calmly taps every item and her bedding in a slow-paced manner to confirm to herself it is all where it belongs. It is an extensive, but necessary routine that reassures Somarah and keeps her on task like an internal clock; in addition to helping her complete everything that is expected of her. Somarah depends on the consistency of this routine as it keeps her grounded while thinking on her having to leave the comfort of her home.

Though meticulously calming, Somarahs' routine cannot stop the anxiety of having to transition to the next step of approach to this day, the step that causes her to confront all the unknown.

Every day, debilitating thoughts run through her mind, "Will someone hurt me?", "What if someone talks to me?", "Will the dog up the street get out of the gate today?", "What if I don't get to the train in time?", "Will I have to sit next to someone on the train?", "What if I get picked on?" She moves towards the door because she knows she must leave, she must face these things, no matter how scary and dare not mention a word of any of it.

As her fear grows, firmly, she grabs the knob, she turns it with the intent to open the door, and then she stops. Because in that moment, of every weekday she is faced with overwhelming feelings of uncertainty and discomfort as she forces her hand to twist the knob and open the door. As she steps out, her jaw tightens, neck stiffens, for moments she does not breathe, her eyes quickly scan the outdoors; internally she hopes that by some miracle she would be called back into her home, but it never happens.

She experiences these occurrences because she is on her way out, into what people in her country call, "The Grasp". It is located beyond the train tracks, once crossed there are no more trees baring leaves, no flowers to be seen, lacking the Suns light, and smiling faces. The walking spaces are cement filled with cracks of grass once tempted to grow. The beings that inhabit this place are the remains of what is left of someone's loved ones. This place was coined its name because of the dangers that exist in this place are absolutely consuming and most people never return home if found in its grasp. Everywhere you turn there will be something or someone seeking to feed you over to the grasp's influences.

Knowing this, when Somarah is out on her own having to navigate the elements of the grasp while on her way to and from her school, she is at full attention and all her senses are hyper aware. Being in this type of state causes Somarah to feel like she will burst, the entire time, but she knows she must survive the travel in this place.

Once arriving to her school, she feels a sense of relief. Everyone is exactly where they are everyday when she arrives, everything there is consistently on a routine schedule, two of her best friends are there to greet her and she even has her own spots to sit in her class and at lunch time. Somarah appreciates the reliability and consistency of her school day.

As she goes about her day to each of her classes, speaking to teachers, staff and students who somehow know her name, Somarah does not concern herself with thoughts of having to make it through the grasp because in school, she knows what to expect.

After a long stretch, the school day is finalizing, and Somarah is not overwhelmed with fear because she has the company of her friends to go a distance with her after they leave school, and she gets to go to the castle. Once Somarah and her friends leave school, she feels safe while in their presence until it is time to go their separate ways.

At that moment Somarahs' senses go on high alert. She thinks to herself, "I have to pay good attention to everything, everyone and get through the grasp as quickly as I can to make it to the castle. Inside she feels a bit of excitement because the castle is such a wonderful place. The castle is nestled in the heart of the Eastern side of the grasp and though surrounded by desolate lands and the scariest people, the castle stands tall, weathered but beautiful. It is guarded by knights and keen hounds, undoubtedly the safest place to be. There is a beautiful queen that lives there, her name is Queen Clemencia, and she is absolutely delightful; always greeting Somarah with so much love and kindness.

Every school day when Somarah arrives to the castle gates, expectedly, Queen Clemencia's smile is so stunning, the young Somarah cannot help but to feel she herself has suddenly been crowned a princess. As soon as Somarah enters, the Queen orders the staff to do whatever is necessary to bring comfort to the young "princess" Somarah and serve her whatever her heart desires to eat and drink.

Somarah loves being able to visit the castle each day after school until her chariot arrives to escort her home to the Western side of the grasp. While wonderful, the experience is a dependable one for Somarah and it provides her with much needed security of knowing what she can expect. After eating delicious treats and having sweet drinks, the queen always lets Somarah go out into her garden and even allows the castle staff to play catch with Somarah. It is such a wonderful time each day, the young Somarah never wants to leave; for the queen is the most gracious host.

The time Somarah spends at the castle is so joyful, it makes the trip of crossing the grasp into a very faint memory. The chariot arrives to take Somarah to the Western side of town, suddenly she feels displaced for a moment as she does every school day. Then the Queen walks up to her and says, "No fear, I'll see you again tomorrow my dear."