Carry On S1 E3 • “Sharp Marines”

FADE IN: A SMALL BANQUET HALL - NIGHT

SUCHIN speaks with her parents in Thai. The Marine Corps Ball is relegated to off the base. Everyone either dons evening or Service Alphas. BARTHOLOMEW enters the dance floor with a chicken finger in his hand.

BARTHOLOMEW

Goddamn, this is some good chicken.

FINNEY

You know good and well––

BARTHOLOMEW

I know, sir. ‘A Marine never walks and eats.’ But see I’m dancing.”

He shows off a move. He then looks at FINNEY’S stern face, hard enough to cut granite. BARTHOLOMEW throws his thumbs up and returns to the buffet line. FINNEY shakes his head and grins slightly. He then walks over to where SUCHIN stands with her family.

FINNEY

It’s a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Zhang, Mr. Zhang.

SARAH ZHANG smiles with a look that says that she is enjoying every moment of the event. CURTIS ZHANG stands as a distinguished gentleman with gray at his temples and slick back hair.

Mr. ZHANG

Absolutely, Douglass. It’s always wonderful to be around so many sharp Marines.

MRS. ZHANG

I’m having the time of my life…again.

FINNEY

It is all in the Marine Corps way. Well, enjoy yourselves. Let me steal your daughter for a moment. Again, a pleasure.

The ZHANGS smile and wave and softly shoo away SUCHIN.

SUCHIN

What is it, now?

FINNEY

I want you to keep tabs on the Staff Sergeant.

SUCHIN

Staff Sergeant Freeman, Staff Sergeant Dodd, Staff Sergeant Corr….

FINNEY [slightly miffed, he stands askance]

You know who I’m talking about. Get to the business of making sure he’s in line.

SUCHIN

Shouldn’t you be busy getting drunk with all the other officers? Relax a little?

FINNEY

Yes, so my shop can show up in the colonel’s office on Monday. I’m just waiting for you both to be standing right before him.

SUCHIN

Okay. Alright. Jesus, am I supposed to put a leash on him and drag him around, too?

FINNEY grabs his cover and walks away from SUCHIN. She kisses her teeth.

BARTHOLOMEW finishes his meal and finds Private First Class Granger Kelly with his ribbons missing.

BARTHOLOMEW

Hey, Marine! What’s going there with those ribbons out of order? Don’t ever let me find you with jacked up ribbons like that again, okay?

PFC KELLY

Yes, Staff Sergeant.

BARTHOLOMEW

Alright, then. Now, go and have a good time.

SUCHIN

Staff sergeant!

BARTHOLOMEW [he realizes that he has power over the pfc but not the captain.]

Yes, ma’am.

SUCHIN

Are you having a good time?

BARTHOLOMEW

Yes, ma’am.

SUCHIN

I’m supposed to babysit you or something.

BARTHOLOMEW

Is that right?

SUCHIN

Can you help me with something?

BARTHOLOMEW

Ma’am?

SUCHIN

Just get drunk or something and get someone to take you home.

BARTHOLOMEW

Why? What? Does the major think I’m going to ruin the Ball?

SUCHIN

Yeah, something like that.

BARTHOLOMEW [somewhat deflated]

I mean if he wants me to go, I can just go.

SUCHIN

That would help.

BARTHOLOMEW [growing angry, but somewhat curious]

What can I do? I mean to stay here and be an example for the junior Marines? I can definitely show them that the goal is to have fun but not get wasted tonight.

SUCHIN

Do what you have to do. Just keep from being around me. I don’t even want to be this close to you. Is that understood?

BARTHOLOMEW

Yes, Ma’am.

SUCHIN

Then it’s settled. Go. Mingle with the young Devils and scare the hell out of the privates.

BARTHOLOMEW

Yes, ma’am. I’ll do just that. [He moves to go over to the other Marines, slightly crestfallen but still looking the part of a confident Marine]

FADE OUT