"Camouflage" (Roman Version)

So, like most parties, in this campaign, we were not in a modern setting. We were in a D&D 5e Fantasy version of the Roman Empire, circa 600AD. Also like most parties, we ended up making a decent number of references to more modern entertainment. The first time that I did it actually even made it into the campaign as something Bastian ended up singing one night - not so much to the party, but more to himself while he was bored. Lead to some interesting interactions. That'll come later as I go through his journal entries.

The following is a rework I did of Sabaton's cover of "Camouflage", made to fit the setting in a lyrical sense. It never made it into the campaign the same way that the other song did, but it was fun all the same to write it up, and my DM approved, so hey, still a win in my book. Enjoy!

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"Camouflage" (Roman Version)

I was a Legion scout on a search patrol Huntin' Cherusci down It was the forest wars of Germania

My gladius cracked and I got stuck way out all alone And I could hear the enemy movin' close nearby

Just then I heard a twig snap and I grabbed my broken blade And I dug in scared while I counted down my fate

And then a big Optio, with a pair of friendly eyes Appeared there at my shoulder and said "Wait."

"If Arminius wants to tangle, now he'll have two to dodge" I said, "Well, thanks a lot!" I told him my name and asked him his

And he said "You boys just call me Camouflage"

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage Things are never quite the way they seem Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage I was awfully glad to see this big militaris

Well, we fought all night, side by side, we took our battle stance And I wondered how the arrows missed this man

'Cause they seemed to go right through him just as if he wasn't there And in the mornin' we both took a chance and ran

And it was near the riverbank when the ambush came And I thought this was the end, and we were had

Then an arrow with my name on it came buzzin' through a bush And that big Optio, he just swat it with his hand

Just like it was a fly...

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage Things are never quite the way they seem Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage I was awfully glad to see this big militaris

When he led me outta danger I saw my camp and waved goodbye He just winked at me from the forest and then was gone

When I got back to my castrum, I told 'em about my night And the battle I'd spent with a big Optio named Camouflage

When I said his name, the Praefecti gulped, and a Centurion took my arm And led me to a green tent on the right

He said "You may be tellin' the truth, boy, but this here is Camouflage And he's been right here since he passed away last night

But before he went, he said Semper Fi, and said his only wish Was to save a young legionarius caught in a barrage

So here, take his signaculum, son, I know he'd want you to have it now"

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage Things are never quite the way they seem Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage I was awfully glad to see this big militaris

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage Things are never quite the way they seem Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage I was awfully glad to see this big militaris

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage Things are never quite the way they seem Woah-oh-oh-oh, Camouflage I was awfully glad to see this big militaris