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Calling Moscow - 2

Two Friends Continue Talking on The Phone

By Lana V LynxPublished 3 years ago 3 min read

The following conversation took place on August 20, 2021 in the aftermath of US troops withdrawal from Afghanistan.

“Hello, Vlad?”

“Yes, Donnie.”

“I’ve finally gotten through to you! Tried for almost a week! It’s almost like I don’t have the direct secure line to you anymore.”

“I’ve been busy, Donnie, just couldn’t answer.”

“Busy even for me?”

“Yes, even for you, Donnie.”

“What keeps you busy, Vlad?” (pouting lips, flirty) “What’s more important than me?”

“The messy US withdrawal from Afghanistan, Donnie, that’s what!”

“Ah, that’s exactly why I’m calling you! How do you like that Biden’s messy withdrawal from Afghanistan, Vlad?” (laughing as if it was a rehearsed line).

“It’s not funny, Donnie. Not funny at all.”

“Why? I thought you’d find it funny. You hate Sleepy Joe, don’t you? If you hate him, you should think it’s funny that he got himself into this mess.”

“Should I remind you who got him into this mess, Donnie?” (sounding menacing).

“Wow, wow, Vlad, what’s this hostility about? What’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem?!? The US withdrawal from Afghanistan is my f*cking problem, Donnie!”

“But why, Vlad? Weren’t you the one who was always against the American troops presence there and wanted them out?”

“Only officially, Donnie. Now that it really happened it’s a major headache for me.”


“The Taliban won’t just stop in Afghanistan. They also want Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, and all of Central Asia.”

“What for, Vlad?”

“They want to build an Islamic Khalifate there.”

“And how does that affect you?”

“Central Asia is in Russia’s traditional sphere of influence. They will now ask for my protection.”

“And? Didn’t you want them to get back under your wing?”

“For trade and economic relations, Donnie, not for war. They have resources I want, and there are still a lot of Russians living there. But I don’t want to spend billions protecting them when I know there will be no return on investment.”

“But didn’t you negotiate with the Taliban for months, or even years, preparing for this?”

“What? How do you know about that, Donnie?”

“Melania read The Guardian to me yesterday.”

To the side, “Damn Brits, digging where they shouldn’t have!” To Trump, “Well, not exactly negotiating, just talking, trying to understand what they want.”

“And what do they want, Vlad?”

“I told you already, to build an Islamic Khalifate and to get a lot of money.”

“Everyone wants money.”

“Yes, but they are also unreliable. It’s one thing to pay them bounty and another thing – to make them comply with their own agreements and stay where they are, in Afghanistan.”

“Wait, bounty? What kind of bounty, Vlad?”

To the side, “Look who is suddenly paying attention.” To Trump, “Bounty for the American soldiers they killed.”

“What? You told me that you had never paid the bounty.”

“That was when you were president, Donnie. I just didn’t want to create problems for you.”

“Ah, I see. And how long had you been paying the bounty, Vlad?”

“Long enough to create problems for Americans and make them stay to fight the ‘terrorists’ they thought the Taliban were.”

“Wow. Taliban killing Americans for the Russian bounty! But anyway, why would l care about some suckers and losers who signed up to go to war in another part of the world, right, Vlad?”

“Right, Donnie, especially now that you are not a president anymore,” (both laugh). “All right, my friend, I need to go now, to deal with this mess. Good talking to you, Donnie. Bye.”

“And you too, Vlad. Bye.” After hanging up, “Wow, he is so shrewd. No one can compare with him. He’ll eat Biden for lunch, he-he.”


About the Creator

Lana V Lynx

Avid reader and occasional writer of satire and short fiction. For my own sanity and security, I write under a pen name. My books: Moscow Calling - 2017 and President & Psychiatrist

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