By the Sea

I walk down the old, yet sturdy wooden steps face upturned toward the sun, which is at its peak, allowing the warm rays to soak through my bronzing skin. My toes reach the sand and sink ever so slightly through the top layer, the layer that has been kicked up during past moments of activity. This is my home, where I feel most content and happy. It’s absolutely gorgeous; the way the sun gently brushes its rays against the top of the water causing a sparkling effect that is dazzling to the seer’s eyes. I walk towards the cobalt blue water, yearning to feel the waves wash against my ankles. Today is one of those days that you rarely chance to see, it is a perfect one, the temperature mild and wind minimal so as to barely ruffle the ends of my long hair. I began wading through the water towards the vast expanse of endless blue, the occasional rough wave washes higher than the rest, now reaching my navel. I plunge my whole body under the water and come back up to float on my back. Staring up at the sky, I enjoy the waves rocking my body up and down to the ocean’s rhythm. I notice some clouds floating across the previously empty sky, with a grey tinge to them I consider that I should get some swimming in before the rain comes. Whenever you see a grey cloud here it always means rain, sometimes a little sometimes a lot. Stretching my arms out I start freestyling towards the horizon. Living on the beach I am a confident swimmer and usually swim a far way out before turning back towards the beach. As I’m gliding through the water, I feel a few raindrops starting to fall on my back. I know it’s rain because it’s ice cold and lands harder on my back than the water that falls from my arms as I bring them over my head. Before long I can hear a lot more rain droplets hitting the surface of the water all around me. The water has started to feel rougher, almost as if it’s fighting against me. Deciding I should check on where I am and how rough it is, I stop to tread water and look around scanning my environment. To my surprise it’s raining hard, and the sun has been hidden behind the clouds I peer in the direction that I think the sand is. I can’t see it. Waves are chopping all around me and it’s getting harder and harder to tread the water. I suck in a deep breath and trusting my instincts swim in the direction I hope the sand is. A crack of thunder rattles through the water and my body, my heart begins to race along with my mind. I’ve never seen the weather change so completely and quickly as it has today. Where there is thunder, there is lightning. I’m praying that the lightning won’t hit the water while I’m still in it. Stopping while the water is this rough is risky, the waves could push me so far in just a few seconds while I attempt to tread the water. Still, I must check if I’m swimming in the right direction or if I’m getting close to shore. My endurance is high, but I can feel the fatigue setting into my arms and legs. I stop and try to see the shore. All around me all I can see is dark, aggressive waves five times bigger than me and I feel myself being pushed this way and that way, as if I were a puppet. I can’t afford to tread water any longer, it’s wasting my energy and all I can see is grey above me and a blue so dark it's almost black surrounding me. I close my eyes and launch myself against the waves in the direction I’m still hoping is the shore. It feels like I’ve been fighting against these waves forever but never moving anywhere. My entire body aches and I can feel myself slowing down, I don’t know how much longer I can go on. The next moment my body lights up, like every nerve is on fire and suddenly with an enormous crack, everything goes black.

My eyes shoot open as I gasp for air, above me all I see is pale blue. It dawns on me that I’m laying down on a hard surface looking up at a clear and calm sky. I notice the sound of waves crashing softly against the sand. It’s serene, just the gentle murmur of the sea and the whispering of the wind. Clambering to my feet I cast my gaze towards the ocean, it looks like the perfect day. Just as it had yesterday, if that was yesterday... I try to remember what happened. Turning around I recognise my house; I catch a glimpse of my back in the reflective glass door. I do a double take and twist more to see my back’s reflection. My breath catches in my lungs, what was simply a tanned back with lilac bikini strings across it yesterday, is now entirely black with what looks like a large open wound right in the middle. My eyes drop to my arms, and I notice tracking coming down from my shoulders, shaking uncontrollably I get a sudden flashback and yet again feel every single nerve on fire. My head snaps to the left of the beach, peering down the sand to see the same white car that I saw before the lightning, then to the right I can see the same red umbrella set up in the sand. How can it seem as though nothing ever happened and why does my back not hurt? I can’t feel anything. The world spins before my eyes and I collapse to my knees. How can this be? I spent so many days on the beach, in its waters, enjoying how it felt all around me. Now I couldn’t bear to go near the water. Is there no heaven or hell? Perhaps this is my own personal hell? To re live this one day at the beach over and over?

I walk down the old, yet sturdy wooden steps…