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Breath of Life

A Micro Fiction Story

By Mackenzie DavisPublished 9 months ago 1 min read
Photographer: Benson Kua

The shrinking wasn’t the worst part; it was the feeling of drowning. He’d come into this world screaming, kicking, blind. Now, the world was his lungs closing, as if they’d never existed at all.

She was so beautiful, skin like baked pottery yet untouched by ungloved hands, and scalding. Their conversation had left him speechless, though it was she who’d not spoken a word, writing on a lighthouse notepad.

At her place, they kissed in the light of twenty fish tanks, enchanting blue. She nuzzled against his ear, “my perfect golden boy.” And he left this world gasping, flopping… blind.

                                           

                       

                         

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Thank you for reading! This is part of a micro fiction series where I take a photo and write a story inspired by it. Each story is 100 words.

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Microfiction

About the Creator

Mackenzie Davis

“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll

Find me elsewhere.

Copyright Mackenzie Davis.

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  1. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (10)

  • Manikandan Blog Writer6 months ago

    i Loved it.

  • You know I think I read this before and loved it… but I suppose I forgot to comment! But I read it again and it’s still so great! So fascinating and had my mind wondering all about the origins of these characters. The way you described the drowning, the lungs closing like they never existed, so vivid!

  • Donna Fox (HKB)9 months ago

    This was breathtaking!! (pun not intended... well now that I think about it, it might be). 😜 I felt held captive by this story, unable to look away or think of anything other than this short but tense tale! Great work Mackenzie!!

  • Alexander McEvoy9 months ago

    Oh wow! I had to read it thrice to make sure I fully understood what was happening. Absolutely loving this series you're creating for us Mackenzie!

  • I gotta agree with Lacy, this had a poetic touch to it. It was very intriguing and poignant! I loved it!

  • I do declare there's something fishy about this story! So does he at least end up in a tank?

  • G. A. Botero9 months ago

    Amazing.

  • Lacy Loar-Gruenler9 months ago

    Oh, Mackenzie, this is poetry, so lovely!

  • Lana V Lynx9 months ago

    Heartbreaking and so vivid!

  • Poppy 9 months ago

    Oo this is so eery and alluring!

Mackenzie DavisWritten by Mackenzie Davis

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