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Breaking The Glass Ceiling - time to untrap yourself

There will always be jerks in the office. Women need to recognize that and deal with it.

By Anu SundaramPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 6 min read
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Breaking The Glass Ceiling - time to untrap yourself
Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash

THE NIGHTMARE

I was skating on a frozen pond - it was the perfect winter day for it. Quite a few old men with their hooks and smoking pipes were sitting around fishing. They had a hole drilled where they put in the bait and waited for the fish. I was skating around them so that I did not cause a disturbance. Then all of a sudden, a big hole opened up in front of me. Even though I knew the hole was right there, I still went towards it and fell in, and I could not get out. I was in the freezing water while the gap was closing in on me - I could see the old men sitting around just watching.

And I woke up covered in sweat. Being trapped in an ice hole was a recurring nightmare of mine. It happened when I was under stress or nervous. It was my first day at the Great UltraCon Communications (GUC) company. I had finished orientation and the training last week. Apparently, I was the first female to get a complete score on all the tests - a record.

MY FIRST DAY AT WORK

After settling in, my boss asked Jose and me to prepare slides for the kick-off meeting later. Jose and I were from the same school - he was in a different stream, but we knew each other. While I was working on my deck, my boss called me into his office. I walked in to see him chatting with a colleague - a grey-haired gentleman with round glasses. He pointed to a stack of papers on the table and said, 'Can you make copies of these and bring them to the meeting?' He continued talking, but all I could hear was whooshing in my ears. I do not know how but I found myself on my desk with the stack of papers. It had all happened so fast, and now it was sinking in - my boss thought I was a pretty little secretary in a skirt or was I over-reacting. Jose was playing candy crush on his cell phone. Anyways I did not want to create a scene, so I made copies of the agenda for the meeting, brushed the whole thing aside and focused on my deck.

At the kick-off meeting, I handed off the agenda to the consultant sitting next to me. My boss asked us to introduce ourselves - I was sitting to his right, so I had to wait for everybody to finish before my turn. When it was my turn to introduce myself - my boss started the presentation. I sat there wondering if he had forgotten me or was it intentional? I could not focus on the meeting as my mind was churning on the incidents from this morning. I could not believe it was happening.

I was woken out of my reverie when Jose said, 'Giving credit where credit is due - even though I presented the slides, it was all her work.' He said, pointing at me. My boss gave a grunt, thanked Jose for this work, and closed the meeting.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

My colleagues were going for drinks. I said no and decided to walk home instead of taking the tube. I had never felt so invisible or small in my life ever. My parents, my teachers, my friends - I was the star of the show. I was feeling so angry that I let all this happen to me. Why hadn't I said anything? Nothing stopped me from saying no to making the copies, introducing myself, or speaking at the presentation. I had made it into the top-ranked MBA - was an outgoing, confident woman - did all of this really happen to me. At the same time, I had a voice telling me - maybe it wasn't a big deal, perhaps it was normal. But one thing was for sure that something felt fishy.

With this ambiguity, I walked into my flat where my roommate - an experienced professional, VP of a leading real estate company, was having tea. She took one look at my face and asked me what happened. I narrated the day's events to her, and I was surprised to see her hand me a napkin. I was crying - me, the tough girl who had made it out of a tiny village with big dreams, was sobbing like a five-year-old. And then what I heard changed my life.

My friend and mentor (which I did not know at that time) said, 'There will always be jerks at the office. And as a woman, you cannot let them ruin your mood. Now, you can sit and moan about why you have to deal with this whereas your male counterparts don't - but that's useless. The only way to get over this - learn to deal with this and stand up for yourself. And do it in a fashion that is considered professional and polite - there are many ways to skin a cat. But you can do all this only when you get over the outrage of what happened.'

As I heard her tell me this, I could feel a little fire ignite in my belly. I held on to it because I knew what she was telling me was the truth. The sooner I accepted that my boss had discriminated against me, the sooner I can get over it and achieve my goals. I recognized that this moment was a turning point that every woman had to go through in her corporate career at some point or another. I hugged my friend and went to bed with the fire inside me.

A NEW ROAD

I was trapped in the ice hole again when I realized that I had the light in me. I unfroze the ice with that light, jumped out, smiled at the old men, and skated to the finish line. I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off, but I was ready for my day.

My heart was beating in my chest when my boss called me into his office. I was surprised to see the rest of my team and Jose in there already discussing my presentation. My boss pointed to the stack of papers on his table as he continued to address the rest of my team. I took the papers on the table and walked towards the door. Blood was rushing into my brain; my heart was beating so hard in my chest that I could not hear anything; there was a sinking feeling of being trapped in the frozen hole again. And I knew if I did not say anything now, then I will be trapped again forever.

I took a deep breath, turned around and banged the papers on the table. I looked at my boss in the eye, smiled and said, 'UGC is not paying me a top-notch MBA salary to make copies of your papers. Next time ask your secretary or do it yourself.' With that, I looked around the room and said, 'I would like to own my presentation as it is my research.' Jose handed me the clicker.

PAY IT FORWARD

The young women in my top floor corner office applauded as I finished my story. A female mentor had given me the best advice I ever got, and now it's my turn to pay it forward. I said, 'There will always be Jerks in office - just don't let them get to you. They are not worth it.'

They all thanked me as they left my office - the first female CEO of UGC company. One of the women turned back and said, 'Can I ask you a question?' I nodded. She said, 'Do you still get the nightmares?' I laughed and said, 'Not after I broke my glass ceiling, aka the ice hole in the frozen pond.'

Short Story
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About the Creator

Anu Sundaram

My vision in life is to be a Better Version Of Myself Every Day. And my purpose in life is ‘Learn, Grow, Inspire and Contribute’.

Everything that I do ties into this vision - including my writing. Check out anumorris.com for more info!

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