Bodysurfing and Betty’s Rules

”Okay, squirm worms, let’s get your sunscreen on here on the deck, then we’ll get a glass of Lila’s lemonade, and when we get down on the beach, y’all can take off for the water without fussing with it down there.”

Sally and Lizzie giggled, and Lizzie asked, “What’s Lila’s Lemonade,” pronouncing both words with capital letters, “is it better than Minute Maid?”

“Close your eyes and turn around slowly, like sleepy ballerinas.” Shirley sprayed the girls down with Bullfrog while they twirled like they were in a trance, arms forming arches over their sunbleached heads. “Lila’s lemonade is one of the best things in the world.”

Sally spun faster, nodding her head, and said, “It really is! She puts real live lemons in it and everything!”

Shirley laughed and told the girls they could open their eyes but to calm down before they went inside because Aunt Betty just got back.

Lizzie and Sally giggled and put matching heart-shaped sunglasses on, striking movie star poses. “We know! Who do you think gave us these?”

Down on the beach, Shirley put the cooler under the umbrella where she and Em set up camp that morning, shortly after the tide started going back out. Knox and Billy found Steve, who was Knox’s cousin and Billy’s older brother, kicking a soccer ball down the packed sand with their golden retriever, Morgan Fairchild. Sally and Lizzie took off for the water with the canvas float, blocking the breakers with it to get past them and ride one in. Turned horizontally, both girls fit on the raft with plenty of room, and soon they were in position. When they felt the pull of the water behind their knees, they launched themselves onto the faded canvas, sailing on top of the wave all the way into the sand, where they jumped up and ran back into the surf to catch another one.

Blair and Susan returned to the living room with Piggly Wiggly T-shirts over their bathing suits and Tevas on their feet.

Betty poured each of them a small glass of lemonade as well as one for herself. “Girls, sit down and enjoy a sip of lemonade and let’s talk about tonight and what I expect of you.” She took a small sip. “It really is the best lemonade, even better than Chick-fil-A.”

Blair and Susan sipped their lemonade and waited for the law to be laid down.

“First and foremost, you are not to leave this part of the beach. No going past the point, no going to the golf course, and, God forbid, no going to the marina or getting on anyone’s boat. Do you understand me?” Betty’s grey eyes bored into each of them in turn. “I have eyes and ears everywhere, and I assure you that if you behave in a manner worthy of comment, I’ll hear every comment, and probably receive photos and videos.” She smiled gently and continued. “That’s one reason I’m so proud of you girls; you always conduct yourselves with dignity. Before I grant your privileges, tell me what my non-negotiables are.”

Blair and Susan looked at each other in disbelief before reciting the rules they’d heard about since they could remember.

“Don’t go past the point. Don’t go to the golf course. No marina. No boats.” They were smiling with Betty when they finished. “Does this really mean—?”

The sliding glass door opened and a breeze came in with Em, weighted down with grocery bags. She put the bags on the counter and came back to hug Blair and Susan, then began putting the groceries away.

Betty continued, “You do not have a curfew tonight, but your behavior tonight will determine whether or not that’s true going forward. You are not to come stumbling drunk into this house at four o’clock in the morning waking the children. If you come home that late, pretend you’re sneaking in after curfew. If you stay somewhere else, I expect you to send me a pin and a name. Don’t worry about waking me, my phone will be in the kitchen. When I get up in the morning to make coffee and Bloody Marys, I expect to see a pin, even if you’re here. Is that understood? I won’t worry unnecessarily so long as you don’t unnecessarily worry me.”

“Yes, ma’am!” The girls exclaimed, rushing around the kitchen island to hug her.

“Lucky,” Em commented. “Y’all got the short version.”

“They’re the same rules as we had when we got to go off by ourselves the first time. Except no golf carts back then. And ‘night swim at your own risk, but that’s when sharks feed, and you’ll probably bleed out before you get to the hospital.’”

Blair and Susan raised their glasses to Betty’s, and they all drank.