Blimey, So Many Gods! (Part I)

Author's Note: This is an in-character “blog post” of Jolene Bronwyn of The Prophecies of Ragnarok book series.

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Ever had a friend you feel like you’ve known your entire life, but then one day you realise you don’t really know them as much as you think you do and they have a whole family that might as well be an actual house in Game of Thrones???

I will now attempt to shed some light on this controversy.

The facts:

1. The gods are real.
2. The Norse gods are especially real. Believe me, I know. They’ve tried to kill us. One of them’s gone viral on TikTok.
3. Vicki (that’s him, he’s the friend) keeps telling us that “names have power” so you’re not supposed to say their names unless you want to summon them like the Candyman, but somehow writing and reading doesn’t count??? Except maybe if their names are written in runes. I have yet to prove this hypothesis and I’ve got no plans to.
4. MARVEL GOT SOME IMPORTANT BITS WRONG!!!!!!! :((((((((

That said, let me give you the rundown of what’s the deal with the Norse pantheon and who the heck are all these geezers in this first episode of my brand-new series IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AND I REALLY REALLY DON’T WANT TO DIE.

Ragnarok and the Nine Realms

It sounds fancy, and I’m sure scholars will argue with me on the true meaning of the word, but this is not a dissertation!!!! And the world is ending, in case you missed the memo. So I will be brief: Ragnarok is the end of the world.

Or, well, worlds. Plural. Vicki said there are nine realms as we used to have nine planets, but hopefully whichever is their Pluto didn’t get demoted to dwarf planet though there is a dwarf realm. (Shoutout to Ivaldi, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU???)

We serfs and commoners live in what’s called Midgard, while most of the gods are from Asgard — if you’re an MCU fan, this is basic Thor stuff. There’s also the underworld, a dwarf realm, and a place called Jotunheim which is where Loki’s from and is super important to remember for later.

Anyway, Ragnarok’s got a whole prophecy with several apocalyptic scenarios laid out in it, ranging from The Day After Tomorrow to The Walking Dead. The only thing it seems to be missing are robots, but who knows? Prophecies can be fuzzy and subject to interpretation.

To be honest Ragnarok is more like the Dance of Dragons though, the culmination of a civil war between two of the pantheon’s biggest old farts: Odin and Loki.

Sibling Rivalry

This is where Marvel first got it wrong: it’s not Thor and Loki who are brothers, it’s Odin and Loki!!!

Vicki said he doesn’t remember all the details yet, but a long time ago Asgard invaded Jotunheim and won, and Loki was “““adopted””” into the royal family.

That at least tracks. But Vicki and Sil said Loki is blonde???????

He also doesn’t look like Tom, apparently. But indulge me.

Anyway, Odin and Loki were practically brothers, but at some point Loki turned against Odin (you know, like how Theon Greyjoy betrayed Robb Stark???) and then they both got their kids involved so now there’s a whole war between the two camps over who gets to rule Asgard.

Now Loki’s side has been on the losing end, with him and his weird children in various states of being locked up since who knows when, but the Ragnarok prophecy says they’ll be back…

While Odin has been gearing up for that final battle by recruiting the souls of dead warriors (wow, talk about working people to death and beyond) through an HR department of super hot grim reapers called Valkyries.

The dead blokes have a less memorable name: Einherjar.

Next week (IF I’M STILL ALIVE) we’ll talk more about Odin and his litter of children with unpronounceable names and Daddy issues!

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Hi! I'm Marie, a Filipino fantasy author and book reviewer currently based in the UK. I’m the co-author of The Prophecies of Ragnarok, a Norse myth new adult urban fantasy trilogy, and I also have short stories published in anthologies and literary journals.

You can find more info about me and my books, and also subscribe to my newsletter for more content, here. And if you like what I do, please also consider supporting me on Ko-fi! 🩷 https://ko-fi.com/mariesinadjan