Blazing Glory

There is nothing like attending a cremation seminar at the Olive Garden in the peak of a midlife crisis. After my 6th flyer by mail I figured it had to be a sign that this was the most definite path I could choose for my life.

My parents always said I needed to discover my calling and choose a path that made sense. Closing in on 40 and hovering over the idea of selling insurance or real estate I figured I will eventually end up as dead as all of my dreams. At first I figured I’d just go grab a free meal and some breadsticks to go. But now I see it is an absolute certainty and I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Also being around so many like minded people in antiqued athlesiure wear, made up for the fact that I missed so many travel opportunities during the pandemic and probably with the coming recession, that what did it all matter? Everything I needed to seek awareness of self has always been right here at the local Olive Garden this whole time. No need to take a long flight to St. Elsewhere, you got a free meal ticket and a new purpose.

Lenny the funeral director makes you feel right at home and can recommend a great wine to go with your meal before he gets into great deal about where you’re headed before you reach heaven, so he hopes you have said your prayers. Wow! I thought, well I better get on that.

Before asking how would you like your steak? I wonder to myself, at what temperature would I be cooked, when it is finally my time to meet the ol’ steam room? So I raise my hand with the proudness and purpose of an honor student who still has all the hope in the world. Lenny calls on me and as I ask my question I hear the most beautiful chuckle and I glance over to see the most beautiful firey redhead in all of the Olive Garden. Her name is Gladys.

After Len was through the details and science of what would be entailed in this illuminated occasion, I immediately wandered through the parade of clientele to what would soon be my soulmate. Gladys Nightengale, she introduced herself as. What brings a young woman such as yourself here? I’m only just getting fired up she said. And we laughed the night away and shared a batch of fresh breadsticks.

Lenny continued to make wonderful jokes about his last customer who’s parting party was so lit. He is pretty hip for a q-tip. He also does bah mitzfah and triva night and soon to be Glads and my wedding. We made sense, and her nearing impending doom cured me of my looming mid life crisis. We like to say, there’s nowhere to go but up in a blaze of glory from here.

We decided to get married right away. Her being 35 years my senior we knew time was of the essence. Of course we had it at the Olive Garden and invited all our friends from the seminar. Everyone laughing and dancing the night away and Lenny even got his own dance to “Hot in Herrr” by Nelly.

You never know where your calling will be and sometimes you can find purpose in the strangest of places. Attending A cremation seminar led me down a surefire path where all my trails have been blazing ever since. Glads and I are so happy together and we know we have long term goals that match. Her sense of humor about our similar fate is the unending support I needed as I turn the long bending curve of midlife.