Bird in the Window

The outside world was unknown to her, but she could catch a glimpse of it through his window. The window was set into the wall. A thin, horizontal slit that showed the long sprawl of grey-tinged wasteland. This view was easily seen from where Bird sat at her husbands bedside. When they’d married, over a decade ago, everyone had told Bird how lucky she was. She’d snared a Guardian, after all.

A man sworn to protect. A man sworn to serve. A man sworn to follow orders swiftly and without question. Bird had seen it as a death sentence, their marriage, but nobody asked her what she wanted.

Her husband, Reg, wasn’t a bad man. Not by much stretch of the imagination anyhow. He was simple. He wanted to work, to come home, to eat, to sleep, and to repeat it all again endlessly until he died or god forbid was given leave to retire. Bird wasn’t abused or neglected. Reg was simple and kind. He would ask her how the day went upon arriving home and entertain her questions about his position Outside. He spent enough time with her to fulfill their allotted two children minimum and once that was accomplished he spent enough time with her to ensure she didn’t lose her mind to loneliness. There had been a time then, once her children had been taken to School, that she truly thought she may lose herself to the length of the days. Something Bird had never been much concerned with until they had become such alarmingly empty lengths.

It had been only 3 months since her husband had been taken down by some sickness from Outside. The doctors could tell her nothing of it. The suits Guardians wore were well made but not infallible, was all each professional that examined Reg told her. They couldn’t tell her what was making his brow stay coated in a sheen of sweat or why he tossed and cried out in the night. None of his symptoms made sense to these men supposedly of science and technology. A couple of them had even gone so far as to hint that her husbands state may be hopeless. An illness that hadn’t been seen in too much time or that hadn’t been remembered in the move from the spreading wastelands.

While Bird had nothing more to do than contemplate the grey expanse Outside she wondered bitterly how many were laid up like her husband. How many like her were stuck watching helplessly from their spouses bedside. How many of their spouses had been led to believe. Sacrificed for the safety of Society. Bird had wanted to be a Guardian, a long while ago when she’d still been confined within the beige walls of School.

She had drawn herself in the bulky, unwieldy suits over and over again. When she’d grown old enough the drawings changed to lengthy essays on the trainings she’d one day complete and the oaths she would make to Society. She was determined to become a Guardian.

Then the Day of Testing had arrived. Bird and a handful of other students that had all recently completed their 18th year were shuffled into a room. They’d undergone the physical tests, running laps and climbing the great rope in the gym. Completed intelligence tests, how fast they could finish sheets of equations and how adeptly they could remember the dates of important bits of history and how well they could recite the ancient texts. Finally being led one by one into a physicians office for check-ups.

The last was invasive, incredibly so, but every child of Society since time unremembered had gone through the Day of Testing so none of the group questioned that the kind-faced physician was getting so up close and personal. The check-up was finished quickly, the physicians hands admittedly soft, and Bird had been instructed to put her uniform back on. When she turned back to the physician Bird hadn’t been able to help herself. Bird asked the physician if she thought Bird was fit enough to be classified Guardian. Her answer was no.

The physician was kind. Probably realizing that her words, while thoughtful and measured, were doing nothing to solve the heartbreak the younger woman in front of her was experiencing. But despite her kindness, the conclusion was unchanged. There was a murmur in Birds heart. That paired with her healthy reproductive system and unblemished beauty really only left her with being classified for the home. Bird tried to hold out hope. Her physical tests had gone smoothly and she knew her intelligence scores would be excellent. She had to think that those things would pull her through. She had to fix her eyes on the future she’d been working towards since the first time anyone had asked her what she wanted to be someday.

Being a Guardian was everything she’d ever wanted, the most perfect way to contribute to Society. Bird was so sure of her place in the world she couldn’t imagine a world in which she would be anything but a Guardian. Of course, Bird learned rather quickly that dreams and hard work only amount to so much. Her test results were nearly perfect. But the reality of being nearly perfect in a Society that expects perfection is that the “nearly” is just another word for “not at all”. Bird had been shipped back to the parents she’d once been taken from and she’d been thrown into the task of becoming a wife.

Bird had been devastated when her review stated she was best fit for the home. Being classified for the home meant many things. To Bird the most important at the time was that she would never be a Guardian. Her intelligence and drive would be put to use for the benefit of someone else. She would be kept, rather than given the opportunity to fly free. She was devastated and then furious. If Bird had been given more than the few weeks it took to be wed to Reg she probably would have found a way to burn Society to the ground.

Meeting Reg had been a dim light in the darkness that was her disappointment. Reg was only a year her senior. A blessing, though Bird didn’t accept it as such until years down the road when she ran into a classmate who’d been married to a ghastly old man who very well could’ve been their father. When it came down to it Birds parents did give her a choice. Or rather the illusion of one. Marry Reg or be sent to join the Spinners.

Anyone who’d heard anything about the Spinners and new even the least bit about Bird would know that this choice wasn’t really one at all. Bird could marry a simple man and have a simple life or spend her life confined to the unchanging beige windowless walls of Spinners Den and face the demeaning tasks set to her there. Spinners never left Spinners Den once they were there. The Den was the dimmest lit of all the Society. It wasn’t a pleasant place, a fact punctuated by the way older men liked to leer at all the newly classifieds if there was the slightest chance they’d be a Spinner.

Bird chose her simple life. Bird chose to spend time with Reg. Bear him children that he may never see return from School. Bird chose to stare at the expansive wastelands while her husband wasted away. Bird chose to sit by her Guardians bedside until he drew his last breath.

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