At the Gate

Look, I understand. Really, I do. The thing is, it's always the same. Every one of you thinks it's a mistake. Every. Single. One.

Aaaaaand, here come the tears. NOW you regret it all. Just like all the others

No, no - see it's YOU that doesn't understand. I never had a choice. This is my job! A mandatory assignment!

I have to enforce the rules. Mind you, I don't get to make them. To be honest, that's probably a good thing for you right now. I've grown pretty callous, as you can imagine. Seriously, turn around. Take a look! Yeah, that's the line you're in and you've made it to the front.

Can you see the end? Neither can I – because there isn't one. They just keep coming.

And here you are, holding up the line. No, hey – no apologies. We don't do that here. I literally have all the time in the world and as of today, so do you, and the rest of them, there.

Day in, day out, I stand here and deliver the message I'm about to give to you, to multitudes. And, by the way, “day” really doesn't mean anything. It's all endless. The light shines forever up here.

And you all come here with the same expectations. I have a list of your transgressions here and I have to read them off to you. Then you want me to let you off the hook?

No. Just no! I'm just the gatekeeper, and yes, as you can now see for yourself, there are actually gates. Twelve separate gates to twelve separate cities. And I have to lug around the keys. Yes, there are actual, physical keys, for those of you who think everything in the book is figurative.

What's that? Yes, they're all open. But just try to go through without the key – Never mind, someone's making a break for it right now! Just watch.

Yeah, that just happened. You just witnessed an angel in action. Always a real rush! That's what happens if you try to enter a gate without one of the keys, here. Oh, no. They're fine – I mean as fine as all you other disembodied souls. They just got sent to the back of the line.

Now, just take a seat and watch. Oh, no, you don't need a chair. Just sit. Thaaaaaat's it. Okay, now just watch while I call the next person in line.

Welcome! Proceed to Gate 10. Here's the key!

See the angel step aside? There's nothing to unlock. You just have to have the key. And after you've passed through, look: it comes right back to this ring I have to carry.

That's the bottom line here, you see? You have to have earned a key. And as much as it pains me, I have to tell you, you don't get one. You have no place here. And yes, I'm going to tell you exactly why. That's the job, and look, here's your list! Oh, yeah, it's fairly long, but trust me, it's not the worst I've seen.

Comfy? Good. Now here's what's going to happen, so pay attention. You're going to sit and listen while I read this. You don't get to ask questions or try to plead your case. There's only one law here, and it's not me. I'm only an enforcer. I'm a saint. These keys were my reward, and although I kvetch – please pardon my Yiddish – I am honored to keep them.

So, dear, departed soul, when we're done here, I will show you another gate, not made of pearl. You'll pass through it with no key required. What happens on the other side will determine whether and when you'll get a key to pass back through, and I sincerely hope to see you again.

Ready? Here we go. Item number one...

Thanks for reading! Apologies if I've tread on any toes, but I still prefer to think that there's a sense of humor up there.
So, you know the shpiel: comments of any kind are appreciated, and