At Least I Have This

It was quite a feat, the sinking of the Titanic. The Unsinkable ship she was called by so many people. It was April 15, 1912, in the wee hours of the morning and the Titanic had just sunk. Dazed and confused, I sat upon a lifeboat with about 20 other passengers or so. I was six months pregnant with my first child. My husband Clark, was not with me. The last I had seen of him, was from aboard that very ship that had just sunk into the icy waters below. He had placed a kiss firmly on my lips before we departed, as if to say, 'I'll see you soon'.

I was sitting in the lifeboat, where I still sat now, astonished that the ship was just gone. The image of Clark's face was burned into my mind along with the rukus of the sinking. His soft brown eyes were all I could think about. We were just second-class passengers, who were awoken to the sounds of ruckus in the middle of the night. I felt so much grattitude to even be sitting in the lifeboat.

We had left England on April 12, set for New York City, where my husband's sister and her partner had lived. We were terrified and on the embarking of our greatest adventure together. A new life for our little family. I truly had never been happier than aboard that ship alongside my husband, with grand dreams for our future together. But truly, nothing could have ever prepared us for a night like this one.

I was petrified, sitting in that lifeboat. Not knowing where my husband was or even if he was okay. I was praying that he was sitting safely in one of the other lifeboats and not at the bottom of the ocean. I sat there, clutching my stomach, feeling the kicks of my newborn child. At least I had that, the knowledge that my baby was okay. It was so cold with the brisk early morning spring air in our faces. I just hoped that Clark was okay and sitting safely in on of the other lifeboats.

"Isabelle." I hear someone say my name. I turned my head to the sound of the young woman's voice. "Isabelle are you okay?" It was my friend Jasmine. She sat next to me on the lifeboat. I nodded meekly. We had met on the ship just days back. I was very fortunate to be sitting on my lifeboat with her. She had a look of worry on her face. Her golden hair was wrapped in a large bun that was placed perfectly atop her head.

"You just look a little pale." Isabelle's eyes were narrowed in worry.

"I'm just worried about Clark." I managed to squeak out.

She smiled softly. "I'm worried about Peter too." She was referring to her husband. She grabbed my hand and pulled it towards her lap. "I pray that they are safe too."

Safe. This didn't feel safe. Sure we were in a sturdy boat, but I wanted to be on dry land. We were in the middle of the ocean. And our ship had just sank for reasons unknown to us surviving in the stranded lifeboats.

I felt like I could barely breathe, sitting there with Isabelle's hand still holding mine. I just wanted this to be over. As we waited for a rescue ship to come find us, I wondered about Clark. Was he on a boat like mine? Or worse, did he even make it off the ship?

I hated wondering where he was. I should felt lucky to have been awoken in the night and on the ship. I should feel grateful to even be alive but still my heart just ached. At least I had this, my baby was alive and well. I could feel their little kicks inside my growing belly. With one hand on my stomach, and the other holding Isabelle's clammy hand, I felt some sense of peace. At least we weren't in the water. At least I had this, my baby is okay or seemed to be okay. At least I had that. I just hoped that Clark and I were to be reunited in the midst of our rescue.

Chloe Rose Violet

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