Anniversary Dinner

Trisha ran through the glass door of the Italian restaurant. She knew she was already late for the dinner and was feeling completely apologetic about her tardiness to the meet up with her girlfriends again. She made her way through the labyrinth of tables to her group. She was happy to see them all there waiting for her arrival.

“Sorry, I’m late again” Trisha sat down in the nearest empty seat. The unopened menu lay right in front of her. “What did I miss?”

“Candace,” a blond colored hair woman sitting to Trisha’s left began, “pushing an idea—”

“I know, isn’t good.” A dark haired woman with red framed glasses who was sitting across from Trisha, raised her head from the menu she was studying. “However, Helen, this is a perfect idea, and you know it. We were here last year, but…”

“But you know,” added another voice sitting next to Candace. The long dark haired Nalani stared at Helen with the similar expression as Candace, ceasing Helen from continuing with any other comments on the discussion.

Trisha sat in silence, perplexed on what the other women were talking about. Then added, “what’s the idea? Perhaps I can offer a suggestion or two?”

“Let’s just drop it for now, for Trisha’s sake, and focus on having lunch,” Candace instructed as she returned to studying the menu.

Trisha, feeling defeated by the order, glazed over the untouched menu in front of her. She was more concern on what the discussion was and why the sudden urgency to stop. Regardless, it was her first time at the restaurant and she was blown away by how glamorous the dining area had been set up. It was definitely a more elegant interior design than your regular chain restaurants. Glancing around at the furniture and pictures on the wall, it seemed the owners wanted the patrons to be absorbed by the Italian atmosphere.

“Ooo, the pan seared salmon sounds interesting,” Helen whispered out, shattering Trisha’s admiration.

Candace kept a stern expression on her face, “I’ve had it. It’s okay. I am thinking maybe we start with a carpaccio. Everyone ok with ahi still? Nalani, I know you were starting your new diet. Weren’t you thinking about becoming vegetarian?”

“Ahi carpaccio sounds great! I can make an exception, you know,” she responded with nervous confidence as if she were actively committing an affair with a significant other.

“You don’t need to be so nervous, it’s just a meal,” laughed Helen in an attempt to lighten the mood set by the serious discussion prior to Trisha’s arrival.

Trisha was thrilled at the thought of having ahi. It was one of her favorite fish dishes. “Candace, that’s an excellent idea. Ahi is a perfect way to start.”

“Then it’s settled, we will start with the carpaccio and consider our main courses later.” Candace announced while maintaining her rigid expression, in spite of Helen’s attempt.

Trisha studied her friends at the table and judging by the number in her party, she felt one dish might not suffice. “Should we add another dish? Helen, what do you think?” She suggested, hoping Helen, who was the groups foodie, was thinking the same thing.

Helen continued looking over the menu and then added, “What about Fritto Misto?”

“That’s sounds interesting,” Trisha replied.

Candace, reopening the menu to examine the current request. Fritto Misto: shrimp, calamari, scallop, smelts tartar and tomato sauce.

Nalani, who had made up her mind as well, “This sounds pretty delicious. I think we should add it. It will definitely fit with the theme of the evening.”

“In other words, the ‘let Nalani cheat’ theme?” joked Candace. Bits of laughter sprouted out through the group. “Fair enough. But are we going to be able to eat all of this and a main entree?” Candace wondered, staring at the women as a mother would her own children. She was more concern about wasting food and money.

Trisha nodded her head, “I think we should be able to handle. I mean, two starters and two main entrees is what we normally would order. So, we should be able to share and finish it.”

“Yeah, I think so,” Helen also stated. “That’s what we usually do anyway.”

Trisha was pleased to see Helen was in support of her idea. She smiled. “Thanks, Helen. I’m glad someone feels the same as I do.”

Helen smiled while Candace stared at the menu for a few seconds longer contemplating the options.

Finally Candace announced, “fine. Two starters.”

As she placed her menu down on the table, the server walked over. He was a tall tanned skinned man. “Greeting ladies, have you decided on any drinks and starters yet?”

“We’ll be fine with water for now,” Candace ordered, as the others nodded in agreement. “We would like to start with Ahi Carpaccio and Fitto Misto. We are still deciding entrees, but what are the specials?”

The server, with his radiant smile, began, “Pan Seared Salmon with Linguini. Our Pizza of the week is our Mushroom Lovers, made with 4 different types of mushrooms and garlic.”

The women glanced around at each other with a tinge of excitement at hearing the specials. As if the years of sisterhood had created a telepathic bond between them, Candace was the first to speak, “I think we’ll definitely want to try the mushroom pizza. Is there any meat on the pizza?”

She wanted to show support for Nalani’s attempt of switching to a vegetarian diet, even if Nalani was cheating.

“There is no meat, just mushrooms, garlic, and cheese,” assured the server.

Candace eyed Nalani, waiting to see her response to the server. “That would be lovely,” Nalani smiled back. “How big is the pizza?”

“It’s about 12 inches in diameter.”

Candace glanced over at Helen, seeking her approval.

“Hey, I’m for mushrooms and garlic. Based on the reviews I read, the Mushroom Lovers came highly recommended on Yelp,” Helen added excitedly.

Trisha nodded. “Yeah, I could go for it as well.”

Candace, pleased with the response of her group, turned back to the server. “Then we will have that as well,” she instructed. The server wrote down the request.

“And for drinks?”

“Just water for now,” Candace repeated sarcastically, then rolling her eyes at the fact the server didn’t remember that from the beginning. Trisha giggled, knowing it was going to affect his tip.

“Alrighty then. One Fritto Misto, one Ahi Carpaccio, and one Mushroom Lovers. Is that correct.”

“Yes,” they all nodded in unison, confirming the order.

“Great, I’ll put the order in for you.” He began to collect the menus. Leaving the menu in front of Trisha untouched. “I’ll…,” looking slightly perplexed, “leave this one here for you in case you would like to add on to your order,” as he walked away.

“Girl, he’s cute,” Helen finally whispered to the group. All of them giggled like high schoolers. After the laughter subsided, Candace returned to her stern and now somber expression.

“Candace, you need to lighten up,” Nalani suggested. “Today is supposed to be a celebratory day.”

“Yeah, I know it’s been a year. It should be ok to laugh and enjoy the evening. Even though…” Helen started and then abruptly stopped once she saw Candace’s eyes begin to tear up gently.

Trisha stood up from her seat and rushed over to Candace and embraced her from behind. She knew Candace was highly sensitive and emotional.

“I know it’s be a year,” Candace sobbed, “but she was very special to me. I can’t believe she’s still not here. I don’t know what we could have done to prevent it.”

Trisha was confused. “Candace, what do you mean?” She whispered to her.

“If we had walked with her to her car, we might have been able to prevent it, you know, like we did at the club,” Candace cried, tears streaming down her face nonstop.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn’t your fault,” Helen spoke in an attempt to calm Candace. “If Trish were here today, I’m sure she would feel the same and tell you that it’s not your fault.”

Trisha froze at the words, “if Trish were here today.” What did Helen mean? Trish was here.

“Helen, what are you talking about, I’m am here,” Trisha proclaimed, still holding Candace.

Nalani’s eyes started to well up with tears, but remained speechless. She was fully aware of where the conversation was heading.

“Trish, I’m so sorry that had to happen to you. I wish it were me and not you,” Candace continued to confess in between her sobs. “I miss you so much, Trish.”

Trisha stood up and backed away from Candace and the table. What was going on? She questioned and she reexamined the table. There were only three glasses of water, three plates, and only three place settings. The seat where Trisha was sitting still had a menu in front of it, but there were no plates, food, water, or any signs someone was sitting there. The chair was still pushed in. She recalled the waiter had only 3 menus when he walked away meaning Candace must have reserved the table for four mindlessly. Trisha was flooded with confusion about the whole situation.

Was she dead? If so, when? How did she die? Her mind was completely full of questions and her death seemed impossible. As she watched her small band of sisters mourn her death, suddenly…she remembered. She remembered what happened and why she was still at the restaurant. The memory of what had transpired the night of her death rushed back rapidly to her.

One Year Earlier

She was at a nightclub with her girlfriends. They were enjoying the evening of dancing and drinking, your typical girl’s night out. As the night stretched on and on, she saw him from across the club, as he saw her. The glimmer in his eyes, sparked an excited sensation in her heart. She wanted to be by him, to be held and led on the dance floor with him. They slowly gravitated to each other through the rhythmic beats of the night. Like two celestial bodies, they gracefully collide with each other. He held her in his muscular arms and her slow two-step movements slowly matched with his. His hands were around her waist, keeping her close to his body with every gentle twist and turn. Gradually, his arms slid down her waist and over her buttocks. Their heated dance steps gave silent consent between them. It’s the club, it’s dancing, nothing more. She didn’t think much of it and in her experience, that’s all it was: dancing. However, as his hand moved cautiously away from her buttocks and into forbidden regions of her body, she no longer felt the innocent pleasure of dancing. As he continue to guide his fingers from innocence to violation. She stopped. Her rigid body immediately reject further advances. She was now worried about her intrusive dance partner’s reaction. The expression on his face was pure shock for a brief second and transformed more into a devious grin.

“I have never been with a woman like you,” he whispered, as he held her rougher than he had before. She knew he wasn’t offering a compliment. Trisha could tell his interest of dancing had shifted to a much dangerous game, for her. She sensed through his facial expressions he had other mischievous plans for Trisha.

Trying to remain polite for her own safety, she attempted to excuse herself from the dance floor, but he held her stronger and closer to his body. “Listen baby, I don’t think it’s time for you to go. I won’t tell anyone about you. Let’s just keep dancing,” he threatened.

Trisha knew what he meant about not telling anyone. It was a common phrase used by cis-males when they discovered a transgendered woman. The man held all the power over her. He could expose her and completely destroy her self-esteem and self-worth through pointless humiliation just to get what he wanted. She had heard the many terrifying stories of trans-women’s deadly encounter with the wrong type of men. These men’s main focus was to eradicate trans-women; she was hoping this wouldn’t be another story for headline news.

Trisha knew she didn’t have much of a choice. She could no longer enjoy the dance, the meaning behind it had changed completely. The excitement of romance was now overshadowed by the sinister intent of her dance partner. As the music continued, there seemed to be no escape from the hellish dance routine.

To her relief, her tribe came to her aid, just as the situation continued to be more violent and intrusive to Trisha’s body.

“Trish, who’s your new dance partner?” Candace interrupted nonchalantly. Trisha was released from her dance prison. The man shifted his attention towards to Candace instead.

“Wow, what kind of work have you had done? You look real,” he commented ignorantly.

“Real? What do you mean, real?” Candace snapped back, already assuming what he really meant.

“You know, not like her,” he pointed at the now embarrassed Trisha. Despite her years on hormones and her assimilation to the stereotypical gender norms of womanhood, she was still consider “fake” by Mr. Cretinous.

Candace wasn’t going to stand for it. “Oh, are you calling my sister fake? Are you trying to tell me she not a real woman? Listen, buddy, she’s more of a woman than you ever could be a man! Now, go a fetch yourself a bone and be happy,” She instructed.

Mr. Cretinous realized he was out-numbered four to one. “Yeah, whatever. Like I would have any interest in this wannabe woman,” he scoffed, as he walked away.

Candace, Helen, and Nalani surrounded the broken Trisha. They all left the club together immediately to recover from the disastrous events and sought solace in nearest restaurant. After a couple of hours of pep talk and console, Trisha knew she had to return home.

“I’m going to head out,” she finally stated, still shaken from the earlier attack, but confident enough to walk out on her own.

“Trish, are you sure you’re ok? I mean, I know he was an asshole for what he said, but girl, we love you.” Candace exclaimed to show her support for Trisha.

Trisha loved how concerned her sisters were her. She responded softly, “Yeah, I’m fine. I know he was. I didn’t think I would meet anyone like that at the club. This has never happened before, so it caught me by surprise.”

“You want us to walk you to your car?” Nalani suggested.

“No, I should be ok. I didn’t park far. It’s just down the street. It won’t take me long to get there.”

“Ok, text us when you get home,” Helen advised, as she always does.

“I will,” Trisha responded automatically.

In spite of what she has assured her girlfriends, Trisha left the restaurant of refuge to return to her own car still pretty shaken over the attack. It was her first sexual assault, and she was sure it wouldn’t be her last. She walked down the street to her parked car at the corner two blocks away from the restaurant. She pulled out her keys and pressed the button to unlock her door remotely and then noticed a shadow had blocked the luminous light from the street lamp above.

“Hello, baby,” said a deep voice that struck Trisha with terror. Trisha froze because she recognized it. It was the same voice she heard when she was dancing and violated her earlier.

“How? How did you find me?” Trisha whispered cautiously, hoping not to provoke her assailant.

Mr. Cretinous didn’t satisfy Trisha with an answer, but grabbed and forced her against her own car. Trisha tried to retaliate, but she didn’t have the strength to match his. It was just as Trisha feared, the stories she had read of other trans-women being attacked.

Trisha could tell from his eyes he no longer saw her as human, let alone a woman. The rigid silence between them broke. “I’m not about to have some guy humiliate me like that,” he muttered and slammed her face first to the ground.

Mr. Cretinous kept her faced down and began tearing pieces of cloth that protected her body. Trisha’s eyes watered in pain and she wanted to scream for help, but he kept his massive hand firmly on her throat to prevent her voice from escaping. Every few seconds his hand would squeeze her throat and shake her head vigorously. He would also slam her head on the asphalt bringing her closer to becoming unconscious. He returned to violating her and though the nightmare in Trisha’s mind felt like hours, it ended as quickly as it started. He continued to hit her to keep her aware of what was happening.

“You want to be a woman, let me show what happens to women who defy me,” he exclaimed and delivered blow after blow to her face.

By the time he was finished abusing her physically and sexually, she didn’t have the strength to stand or speak. At that moment, where she was the most vulnerable and the most exposed, she felt a sharp piece of metal pierce through her neck, cutting her vocal chords and rendering her speechless. She closed her eyes from both degradation and mutilation, hoping the torture (or herself) would vanish from the dreadful scene. Instead, the final words of her attacker, “hope you enjoyed being a woman,” echoed as her spirit vacated her earthly shell within minutes of the stabbing.

Present

She was back in the restaurant where she had spent her last meal before the assault. She understood why she had returned, it was to spend the anniversary of her death with her tribe and show her appreciation for them. She realized they were there to celebrate her life; her time with them. Even now, at the cusp of spiritual passing, she felt how far the strong bonds of sisterhood could transcend. Trisha returned to embracing Candace, as if she was trying to communicate to her. To let her know how much she loved and appreciated Candace and her tribe in her life, accepting and protecting her for who she was authentically.

“Guys,” Candace sobbed, feeling the warm loving hold of Trisha, “she’s here. I know she is. I can feel her arms around me.”

The table become an emotional satelitte connecting the living with Trisha. Each one of her sisters were able to sense Trisha’s spirit there with them. Her love for her sisters began to warm deep in their hearts, proving Candace’s claim of Trisha’s return. The now spirit formed Trisha could also feel the love from her sisters, making her feel human again, as she was prior to her death. The four of them returned to enjoy their dinner together. Towards the end, the living trio silently vowed to celebrate and remember their lost sister annually. Through their deep connection, they all knew that Trisha would return to be with them every year on the anniversary date.