And You're Gone

Ponyboy was leaning against a wall, trapped in his head filled with dark thoughts. ​​​​​​'Love,' the only thing the broken teen was allowed to think over... and over.

'I loved him and now...' Ponyboy's shattered heart started to ache. 'I miss him. I need him. But... he's... he's gone.' 

It's been 2 months since Johnny died.

Ponyboy still hasn't gotten over it.

While they were in hiding Pony had become very attached to Johnny. Ponyboy had never thought of this new concept. This concept that had popped into his head after Johnny died but now...

Now it consumed his every waking thought. Every moment. Hell, he even dreamed of the dark haired boy. 

'Love. I never thought I woulda loved him. I never really thought I would love any boy - or even girl, really - but here I am.' He smirks bitterly.

'Who woulda thought love would be what broke me? A 'tough' greaser. Heh, not even love for a girl. No. It had to be a love for one of my best friends, who also happened to be a boy. The same boy I ran from the cops with.

'Who risked his life to save mine.

'Who gave up his life to save mine and a few kids, accepting it.

'Who... slept over at my house a lot.' Ponyboy began to blush a little at the thought of him at his house being so close by, accompanied by some soft whining for the boy.

His thoughts drifted a little. 'A tough greaser like me broke by a love.' He thought as a tear trickled down his cheek.

His thoughts now jumping to a different subject, 'I slept so close to him in the old church and when we slept in the park. I slept right next to him at the park.' Pony's blush started to spread across his face.

'But now...' He thought, all signs of ever blushing now gone, erased from existence, as if it was never there. 'Now he's gone and I'll never hear his voice again. Never feel his touch. I'll never see his face again. I'll never be able to look into his eyes, or feel his lips on mine.'

That's when Ponyboy broke down even more and started to cry silent tears. Nobody was around him so he let them fall freely. He suddenly turned around and banged his fists against the wall, leaving a small dent in it before shouting between sobs, "WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE?! WHY COULDN'T I HAVE REALIZED MY FEELINGS SOONER AND SAVED HIM?! OR AT LEAST TOLD HIM HOW I FUCKING FEEL?!?!"

Ponyboy fell to his knees, a pitiful,  sobbing mess with his face buried in his hands. He was now a brokenhearted mess. Him. A tough greaser. Broken from love, such a simple feeling, yet able to cause such pain. 

Suddenly Ponyboy feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turns around to see none other than his oldest brother,  Darry Curtis. "D-Darry?" Pony asks with a shaking voice between his sobs and self-pity, "wh-what are you doin here?"

​​​​​​"Pony, are you ok?" Darry asks, his voice dripping with concern for his baby brother. "Ya'know if ya ever need to talk I'm here for you,  ya know that, right, Ponyboy?"

Said boy nods. "I know." Ponyboy slips on what he hopes is convincing smile so that Darry, his worried oldest brother, won't see the pain tearing him apart from inside. "I'm fine."

Darry stares at him for a moment before clenching his jaw as he then stands up and walks over to Steve, who was every once in awhile looking over at Ponyboy.

The moment Darry got far enough away from Ponyboy so that he won't hear he starts bombarding the much larger male with questions.

​​​​​​"Why is pony cryin'? Did someone hurt him? Oh if someone hurt him I swear I'll-!" Steve said with a slight growl of anger before he was cut off by Darry.

"You won't have to hurt anyone, Steve. He still misses Johnny, that's all." Darry said, silently wishing that Ponyboy would just stop trying to hide his feelings and talk to him, or any one of the guys. Let them help.

Steve's anger slowly starts to fade and is replaced with pure pity for the obviously heart-broken boy. "Still? I'm starting to get a little worried about him." His gaze slowly drifting to Ponyboy.

Darry sighs, "me too, but I kinda get it, in a way. I mean - if I realized I liked a chick but I only realized after she died, I'd be pretty down too." Darry sighs again, his pity and concern growing with each word he says. "Now it's too late for him to tell."

Steve starts to understand what he's getting at. "Oh... yeah, I guess that makes sense..." Steve starts to pity Ponyboy more and more. His pity growing by the second. He starts trying to come up with ideas to help Ponyboy. 

Darry notices his face becoming thoughtful and catches onto his idea and starts trying to think up his own ideas to help Pony.

"What if we set him up with a girl!" Steve exclaims.

Darry's head snaps up. "Hey, that's not a bad idea! Yeah... yeah!!! I can already see it happening! Uh, one problem though."

Steve looks at him, confused. "What's the problem?"

"We don't know too many girls we could set up with Pony." Darry pointed out. 

"What about Cherry? It seems like they get along nicely. I think she might like him, too." Steve offered.​​​​​​

"Yeah, but what if she just wants to be friends?" Darry asked worried that their plan would backfire and Ponyboy would only get hurt even more.

Steve noticed Darry's worried look and tried to comfort him. "We won't know unless we try. Gotta be a little risky, right? Hell, it'll probably help more than hurt in the long run if they do like each other."

Darry nods, still having his doubts. "Yeah, I guess," he says reluctantly.​​​​​​

"Now let's go and start making a plan, shall we?" Steve says, taking note of the reluctance Darry's showing.

Darry nods. "Ok, let's go."

​​​​​​"Don't worry we'll make it work and we'll help Pony get over this depression with flyin' colors." Steve says comfortingly.