And We All Fall Down

River told herself she would just have to do without. There hadn't been gasoline for five weeks now. Which meant no generator. No power at all. She walked through the woods, thankful the weather was still nice enough to be outside for most of the day. Most of the deadfall in her area had already been taken out. All that was left were smaller twigs and some dry ground cover. It wasn't nearly enough to make it through the night, forget the rest of their lives.

Things had gotten to a critical point and she knew they would have to leave and find something more remote. It was either that, or become part of the Freedom Party who regularly risked their lives sneaking through the Territory to steal what provisions and trade-able items they could. The idea of living in the Territory was beyond imagining. It was too late for that anyways. Those who had avoided the treatment were outcast. Anyone now, found outside the protective and constantly surveilled shield of the Territory was never seen again. A lesson in compliance.

While River gathered wood, she thought sadly of her son. Callum would have no life, she despaired. She should never have brought him into this world. Five months after he was born, the trouble started. The media started making claims about deaths that were becoming more and more frequent. The hospitals were overrun with patients that carried a highly infectious bacteria, transmitted by tiny insects that survived every climate and had proliferated in the span of just a few months. The TV was full of stories of numbers going higher and higher. Millions of people were dying around the world. Somehow, every single country had been hit by this catastrophe.

They had come up with a treatment, controversial, but supposedly effective. They implanted people with a nanotransmitter that would bind to the bacteria and cause an immune response. It also allowed the government to track the people who had received the implant. Many died in the first months of the treatment, but it was being advertised widely, and urging people that when it was their time, to get the implant, they would be doing their neighbours, their country, and the whole world a service. She had had to stop watching the news. It was all too frightening.

When entering the town for provisions, they had been forced to wear protective suits so the infection did not spread from one person to another. Out here at the cabin, River had not seen one of the insects, but still did nightly checks on herself and Callum to be sure there wasn't one hiding in the crease of an elbow or an armpit. They had an arsenal of her mother's herbal medications, in the off chance they found one, and had been bitten.

And then neighbours started talking. The community started turning on one another, blaming one another for not following the newly imposed health protocols closely enough. When it came time for her mother to have the treatment, she had refused. Her friends began to hound her. “Mary, you don't want to get sick and have to be put in isolation away from your family. Just get the treatment.” Mary noticed though that once her friends had had it, even the ones who were resistant at first, changed. They were not themselves anymore. They seemed programmed and lacked any ability to see that perhaps they were part of a larger plan of enforcement and compliance. Yes, they seemed happy, but it didn't look real. When they laughed, their laughs sounded hollow, their smiles were coming from their lips and not their eyes.

And then her mother was gone. That was a year ago. So much had changed. River touched the silver locket on a thin chain around her throat. It was in the shape of a heart, and if she opened it, there was a photo of her, River, on one side, looking young and vibrant, head thrown back in her too-loud laugh, something she rarely did anymore. On the other side, her son, in the photo still a baby, but now two years old and despite the world he was born into, still a happy and curious boy. He possessed more energy and joy for life than anyone she had ever met. Especially now. This joy of his, carried her through, kept her moving forward in the belief that the future would bring better things. But just in case, behind each photo, was a tiny pill, a lethal dose of cyanide. Her mother's parting gift.

An armful of wood found, River made her way back through the forest to their cabin. “Callum?” she called out as she came through the door by the kitchen. “Are you awake Baby Bear?”

She lay the wood down by the old stove and walked over to the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and she could see the mound of him under the covers where he lay napping. “Time to get up sleepyhead,” she sang softly, “or you won't sleep tonight.” Callum opened his big grey eyes as though he had never been asleep at all. Almost immediately he was up on his feet on the bed and falling into his mother's arms.

“Mommy!” he cooed with joy and let him mother snuggle him. Then he looked up at her, deep into her eyes, seeming as though he was about to tell her the secret of existence and said, “I'm hungy!”

“Ok, ok, Baby Bear. Let's get you something to eat. You are a growing boy aren't you? Growing faster all the time! Soon you're going to be ten feet tall, I believe.”

Callum jumped off River's lap and ran into the kitchen taking the last apple out of the bowl on the small table by the sink. As he sank his baby teeth into the crunchy fruit, River came into the kitchen and watched as her son relished the apple. Messily, juicily, a mixture of apple juice and saliva ran down his chin. He opened wider and took another bite of apple. The piece was too big for his mouth and it fell on the floor. He leaned over to pick it up and looked over at his mother. “Fie seckin rue,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

River laughed. “Yes, five second rule,” she said. It was in these moments, these fleeting moments that disappeared too fast, that she felt like everything was going to be ok.

Then it was gone. She saw there were no more apples in the bowl, and she said to Callum, “Let's go pick some more apples, shall we?”

“Mmm hmm,” he said, with an accent on the “Hmm”. Mouth full of apple and busily chewing, he followed River outside. She brought a basket with her and put it down under the tree. Looking through the branches, she scanned, but couldn't see any more fruit. Not even in the tallest branch. Her heart fell. She walked around the other side of the tree while Callum busied himself with a stick, poking the ants that crawled towards the pieces of apple that fell from his mouth.

Oh good, there were still a couple of apples at the uppermost part of the tree, which meant climbing onto some precariously thin branches, but there you have it. It was practically all the food they had left other than the few carrots and beets still in the meagre garden, and some dried beans in a jar in the cupboard. But it was something.

She pulled herself up onto the crotch of the tree where the branches separated and inching slowly forward onto the limb that held the apples, she stood and stretched as far as she could. Reaching her hand out, she was not quite close enough. She moved a little farther along the branch, and reached again. There we go, she thought, as she touched one of the apples. Teasing it towards her hand with her fngers, she grabbed a hold and twisted. It came off easily and she put it into the pocket of her overalls.

She looked down to see Callum dragging the end of a rope behind him, making tracks in the dirt. He tripped then and when he got back up she could see where the dirt had stuck to the sticky places where the apple juice had dripped. His hands, all the way up his forearms and the front of his shirt were covered with a film of dusty earth. One grimy hand pushed his hair back, leaving a streak of brown on one side of his face.

River laughed and called down, “You look like a warrior!”

Callum beamed up at his mother and made a face, “Grrrr,” he growled.

River looked back up then and caught a view of the valley, the sun getting lower and making everything golden. And then she saw the group of men in the distance walking toward their cabin. The fear rose in her throat. She could feel her heart in her chest. They were still too far away to have spotted her in the tree. She scrambled to the ground and rushed to Callum.

“Baby Bear, we are going to go on an explore now ok?” She bent down to his level and looked into his eyes. Callum could sense that this was not a game.

She ran into the house, threw the child carrier over her shoulder and grabbed a blanket. Rushing back outside with eyes wide and breathing hard, she fitted Callum into the carrier and grunted as she lifted his weight onto her back.

Without looking behind her, she started in the opposite direction from where the men were approaching. She jogged though the woods. Callum started to laugh loudly as he bounced up and down.

River stopped a moment and turned her head as far as she could. “Sweet pea, can we see how quiet we can be? Let's whisper as softly as we can, ok? Let's see who can be more quiet... ok?”

Callum nodded his head seriously. She hurried on.

Where could she go? She knew they were coming for Callum. She would not let that happen. She reached up to her neck and touched the locket. Her mother’s friend, Georgia, had kept a cabin on the other side of the woods, about five kilometres away. It was well hidden. That's where they were headed, and that's where they would spend the night while she planned what they would do next. She willed the feeling of panic down and just concentrated on her breathing and her steps. Callum, thankfully, stayed quiet.

By the time they reached the cabin it was twilight and River couldn't have gone any further. She let Callum down and he crawled his way out of the carrier.

“Mommy, I'm hungy,” he looked up at her, worried.

“I know sweetheart. We'll find something to eat inside, ok?” River opened the door.

Two men sat inside at the table, and she froze. Turning quickly she grabbed Callum and started to run. The men caught up with her easily and pulled her backward. In the struggle, Callum was thrown to the ground and the necklace with the locket was torn from her neck, landing open, in front of her son. One of the tiny pills fell from behind the pictures, and Callum reached for it. At the same time, her arms were forced behind her back, by one of the men and her mouth was covered by a hand.

Callum picked up the pill and put it in his mouth. Looking at his mother uncertainly, he said, “Fie seckin rue Mommy.”