"And the winner is...?"
Short story but not sweet
"And the winner is...?"
She could hear the enthusiastic presenter on the TV from her prone position on the floor. His pregnant pause prolonged the tension for the lucky contestant.
The buzzing had receded from the blows she'd received to her head. The colours on the screen were blurred, pixellated. She blinked a few times and realised it wasn't the reception - it was her eyes. They weren't working well. She remembered a fist.
Fear surged in her gut. Applause ruptured from the TV screen. If she could just raise her head...
The TV show disappeared, obscured by a boot.
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Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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More stories from Rachel Deeming and writers in Fiction and other communities.
Message Me Afterwards
>That was a bad idea. I thought you knew… >Oh, the pathos! I don’t really know you as well as I should. In fact, I may not know the real you at all. That essential, sparkling you that you only reveal to a select few. Had I been paying more attention to the stories you are so fond of telling, in which you are invariably author, narrator and protagonist, I would not have been so foolish as to set you up on a blind date. After all, no friend has ever done anything of the kind for another. That’s preposterous. What is a friend, really?
By D. J. Reddall5 days ago in Fiction
The Fisherman and the Night Sky
Some time ago, in a little seaside town, there carried on with an unassuming angler named Elias. He was known for his consideration and difficult work, consistently up before day break to project his nets into the ocean. Elias had a profound love for the sea and the night sky, frequently spending his nights looking at the stars while paying attention to the waves' delicate cadence.
By Md. Sayhanul Arif5 days ago in Fiction
Comments (16)
That was horrific and haunting! An impressive micro Rachel. 😊☀️
Ooh, bloody hell.
This was excellent! It's right up my ally. I can already tell I'm going to like the rest of your work.
That was a short and tense piece! You picked an enticing perspective to narrate an unsavoury story. Very intense and impactful story, Rachel! Will you be expanding this into a large story? I'm interested in the prior events as well as what followed.
Oof! That was a twist. And a big contrast between the two. It was clever.
Damn! shocking and full of realism! amazing! you have a new subscriber! also congrats on TS!
Thumbs up
Excellent writing. Hits the reader hard. Congrats on the Top Story.
Yes I can see this happening, very realistic it’s scary.
Oh my. A horror indeed. Congrats on the TS
Sheesh! I love the contrast between whats on the TV and what's happening to her. Really well done. It kinda added a layer of realism to the story... Saying things like this can happen at any time, even while you're watching TV with your family (husban I assume).. really good story
Congratulations on Top Story!
WOW! Amazing writing!!
Ow. Definitely not a sweet one, but well done!
YIKES! This was really well done and totally scary!
Very suspenseful!