It's not that Kelly's clumsy or disorganized; it's just that bad things keep happening to her. She discovers she's allergic to shellfish at her brother's wedding. She takes a piece of cake, not realizing it's a corner piece being saved for the birthday girl. She gets hit by a bus with broken brakes.
But Kelly trundles on, hoping the karmic scales will right themselves. When she tells her dad she's touring Europe, she can practically hear him grit his teeth.
The baggage handlers in London are on strike, so she has to buy everything new before continuing to France. In Paris, her passport is stolen and the US Embassy is closed due to riots. So is the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, even the pâtisserie she follows on Instagram. The rest of her tour group leaves for Italy ahead of schedule. Kelly stays behind.
The night before the Embassy reopens, she treats herself to escargot in the hotel restaurant. They're chewy and garlicky, with a sliminess that's not at all unpleasant. She licks the buttery hollows of the ceramic plate upon which they were served. By the time she requests the check, her throat is itchy and her face is swollen to twice its usual size.
The hospital doctor scolds her in burred English. "Pure arrogance, to know you can eat no shellfish and still order snail."
"It's not my fault," she protests. "It's just that I'm perilocentric."
"This word does not exist," he seethes, while writing her the wrong prescription.
About the Creator
Suze Kay
Pastry chef by day, insomniac writer by night.
Catch me here for spooky stories, crushable poems, and overall weird thoughts.
Or, let me catch you on my website!
- Runner-Up in Unspoken Challenge
winter blues
Part one I’ve always wondered why it’s called the winter blues. I understand the whole reason is because the sun isn’t out as long. The sun comes up late and it gets dark super early. Even though it’s cold and many snowstorms as long as you don’t have to go out during a storm it’s the most beautiful time of year. Nothing is more perfect than waking up to find out you are having a snow day.
By Jen Phillips6 days ago in Fiction
"Whispers in the Moonlit Garden"
In the heart of the ancient city of Serenalia, where cobblestone streets wound through towering spires and ivy-clad archways, lived a young artist named Elara. Her days were filled with the vibrant hues of paint and the soft strokes of her brush as she sought to capture the essence of the world around her. However, beneath the surface of this picturesque city lay a secret, a tale woven into the fabric of its very foundations.
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Comments (9)
hahaha. Love this one. Poor Kelly. What I find fascinating is...how much is this based on you? You have this inate ability to really inhabit your characters, even in small pieces like this. This definitely should be a word. I mean, have you seen the kind of half-assed words that get excepted into the general lexicon these days? Great job, Suze!
Nice , great word invention
love this, Suze
This was fun and unique and quirky and sounds like a real word. Nicely done.
Ah the dangers of ill fortune. Nicely done. Best of luck.
Hahahahahahahaha this was so hilarious! Perilocentrism reminds me of Murphy's Law! I also wrote a story about unexplainable bad luck happening to a guy. You're brilliant to come up with this word for that challenge!
Delightfully well done! I'm so thankful I saw this story before I read the latest challenge info because I was able to just tra-la-la through this captivating, quirky piece while believing perilocentrism is one sneaky affliction. Your quiet humor and buttery smooth language just made this so enjoyable.
Hahah omg this is great. Love the humour and the ending. I’m going to start using this word!!
I initially thought that last line of dialogue said “This world does not exist” and was like, okay now that’s quite a twist! 😆 oops