Across the Sands

As the winds howled, my tattered cloak thrashed about behind me. I held on tightly to the beige cowl so that it would remain fixed over my head. I could not see while the sandstorm raged violently. Every forward step felt heavy and laden with weight. My strength was beginning to fail me as I desperately clung to the ground. The desert around me was vast and the raging storm did not cease. I was indeed quite lost, and alone. I should've been dead, hell, I should've collapsed. To anyone else, it would have been a sign to quit while ahead and to give up...

But not to me. I had come too far, and I had sacrificed too much. One would say that I'd gone completely mad, to traverse the desert without any aid, compass or knowledge of the surrounding wilderness. It was indeed folly to take a chance and travel amidst the dunes, in the absence of shelter, provisions and a crew of skilled individuals who understood the landscape. There was nobody to help me in the case of an emergency and I knew that well enough. However, I did not let it bother me because I had made the choice to venture out of my own volition. Countless men had lost their lives by being stranded in the middle of this endless sea of golden sand. It would have been no different in my case. My drive to continue on the path forward and my strength to face the elements came from the hope that I would see her again.

Long before I found myself in this predicament, I had met her in the most unusual circumstance and from there the two of us became inseparable. The happiness she kindled within me could never be bought by any riches or wealth. She was gentle, kind and quite shy but fully capable of being bold if a situation called for it. Her introverted nature kept her constantly in deep in thought. In part, she possessed a brilliant mind which made anything she said sound like soothing poetry. Outwardly and inwardly beautiful, she was a light in an otherwise dark existence. I truly believed our bond was unshakable. However, as life seems to sideswipe even the most resilient of us, there came a time when our paths split. The writing was on the wall and yet I refused to look at it, I refused to accept it. The day I last saw her was one that would forever be seared into my mind. She was now distant and far away across the sands. It was of no fault of her own, nor mine that the cruelness of fate separated us. She had been ripped away so quickly such that it felt like the floor beneath me vanished. I did not know with certainty that I'd find her once I crossed the dunes but nevertheless I attempted to hold onto the little faith that remained in me. Faith is what has kept me going. I have learned to rely on its power. Although, at that point, I had been stuck circling the sea of drought for quite some time and my body was beginning to fail me as was the faith that gave me the courage to get as far as I did.

After days of travelling, I ran out of the remaining food I had left. Just then, I saw, in the distance, what appeared to be a small village. A few homes scattered across an oasis of sorts. The village was enveloping a tiny body of water which seemed to be the source of life in such a hostile place. I could not believe the sight, I was finally able to catch a break. Thanks to this discovery, I could rest my weary head before embarking again. The closer I approached the oasis, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a woman standing beneath some of the palms and reading an old tattered book. I was immediately drawn towards her as if my soul felt her presence before my eyes could see. Upon moving in closer, I realized, it was her. I prayed for so long to encounter her again. My sweet love, who was gone for what seemed to be an eternity, was now just feet away from me. Her dark wavy hair blew in the warm breeze, while her hazel eyes looked down intently on the book she was reading. She wore a long elegant dress embroidered with all sorts of patterns of fruits and flowers and shone with an orange-yellow hue in the light. I immediately recognized and remembered that very dress. I remembered finding it for her in an old sea-town marketplace. I also remembered how happy it made her. Just then, she took notice of me standing before her. She met my gaze with an elated, dimpled smile. I smiled back in return. I began to think of something to say to her. I'd been meaning to tell her so many things, of my feats, my struggles but most importantly of my wholehearted love for her. I had missed her so much that with every changing season my memories of her would return and haunt me. I wanted to let her know that I longed incessantly for a miracle to unite us again. In the spur of the moment, I could not speak, it was if words no longer came to me. I instead rushed forward to her and held her tightly. Her book fell to the floor. Without speaking she embraced me and motioned me to lie down. I could feel her warmth as I drifted out of consciousness in her arms, fully at peace beneath the palms of the oasis. My happiness was restored, knowing I found her again. This time around I was never going to let her go, regardless of fate or anything else in the world. I was ready to sell my own soul, if I had to, in order to protect her and not lose sight of her.

I awoke after some time and, suddenly, as if passing through a cloud, I began to have a feeling of falling whilst it seemed as though everything around me vanished. The moment was gone as quickly as it came, before any words could be spoken. I was shaken, completely confused by what just happened. Again the sandstorm began to rage and pelt me, scraping my skin and nearly blinding me. "A mirage!" I cussed angrily, "it was only a mirage." I knew that I was beginning to be quite unwell since these types of visions were indicative of desert heat sickness. No longer did I feel her presence reviving my aching body, but instead, the harsh reality of the situation I faced.

When night crept in, a terrible frigid desert cold began to sink its teeth into me and my bones ached. The midday sun had scorched and blistered my skin while this buffeting sandstorm and bitter frost would finish the job. I grew weary and my eyelids began to shut. My knees buckled and I hit the sand with all my force. While on the ground, I began hearing things. "Is this my conscience, ridiculing me?" I thought. It was as if I could hear a mocking voice wickedly whispering in my ear, "You're a fool! You seek to find the one you love yet here you are rotting away. You'll become dust like the sand beneath your feet." Dehydration set in, as did hypothermia ironically enough. I could not even bring myself to cry. I remained kneeling through the storm and opened my eyes looking up to the heavens. My sadness was immeasurable as I clutched the sand, like a vice grip in my hands. I hollered into the night sky as the winds blew. "Dammit! Dammit and curse it all. Why must it be this way? Why have I been forsaken?" I cried. Finally some tears streamed down my cheek as the sand slipped between my fingers. Much like that fleeting sand, so too was the time I had with her. The person I loved most, was truly gone as if passing through my grasp. I thought to myself in a manner akin to talking with her, "I would give anything to see you again, I wish things didn't have to be this way." I fell forward, my eyes now stinging with the sand that engulfed me. My resolve was shattered and so was my body. Everything felt so hopeless and grim, and I began to get the sensation of sinking.

I was nearly about to give in to the darkness that surrounded me and forfeit myself to the will of the desert, when just then the storm abruptly stopped. It halted so unnaturally, that it almost seemed like time had stopped. I rolled onto my back and looked up at the stars in the sky. I was amazed that I could actually see the sky in all its vast brilliance. A crescent moon shone over the sand making the desert seem glazed and still. Everything around me remained so tranquil. On a whim, something flew overhead like a flash of light. I could not see it very well, but I assumed it was some sort of bird. It perched itself on a rock, perhaps about three feet ahead of me. I crawled towards it slowly. As I got closer, I could see its white feathers, glowing in the moonlight, almost as if they were set ablaze. It looked like a dove. I thought of how improbable it would be for such an animal to be here in front of my eyes far beyond its typical living environment. Although, something about the animal, didn't feel earthly. It seemed luminescent, almost ethereal. I pondered if this was yet again a mirage, except it was now night and mirages typically occur in the fiery heat of the daytime.

Then almost as if emanating from the dove, I could hear a voice echoing, unlike the heckling one from earlier, which I strongly inferred was my own self defeating inner voice. This voice, seemed to almost resonate from the Earth itself. It was calming and terrifying at the same time, inexplicable really. As I stared at the bird I could hear the voice say, "You are not forsaken child. Follow me." The words unlocked some sort of inner strength that allowed me to get up and stand. Amazed by what was transpiring, I noticed that I no longer had any bodily pain. I felt renewed and revitalized. The bird took flight and I began to chase after it. Up and over the dunes I trekked, while the little avian being soared across the moonlit sky. We moved for what felt like hours, until the dove halted on the highest reaching dune. As it perched, I sat beside it, no longer feeling alone, but rather looked after and guided by what I can only assume was divine intervention. I gazed upon the sun now beginning to rise above the horizon. I took in the beauty of the world in all of its magnificent design. And suddenly I felt hopeful again. I could see far off in the distance, the place I was trying to get to the whole time. This was real and it was vivid. My little bird companion resumed its flight and started on the path towards the exit of the dune sea. I would be safe. I was alive! In that very moment I thought about her again and I wondered if the dove was leading me back to her. "Perhaps," I thought, "Perhaps I'll see my love once more." Whatever was awaiting upon reaching the far yonder, I knew that I'd be guided by a loving hand that has already plotted the course of my destiny. I moved forward in faith and hope and the resilience to face whatever was next on my journey.