A Very Special Report

White House staffers scrambled. They prepared the president’s speech, her diamond studded blue and gold brooch. As the lights and cameras honed in on her, the props manager put the items on the desk. The feed went live.

“Greetings, my fellow Americans. Decades ago, another president held up rock cocaine also known as crack with other paraphernalia. He spoke of how this substance is a scourge and ‘useless chemicals.’ His predecessor’s wife preached ‘Just Say No.’ I’m here to say that these are not useless chemicals. That we should say yes to life.

“In the time that has passed since the senseless ‘War on Drugs,’ millions have perished, been locked up, or have become addicted. This draconian system implemented by the government only worsened the conditions of schools, neighborhoods, and lives.” Then, she pulled out a bottle of pills. The camera zoomed in to showcase the small white capsules.

“This is the first step in our program to not only decriminalize drugs but to legalize them and destigmatize them. This is Cocavil. It will give you a high. Like any other substance such as alcohol, if abused, it will carry with it both psychological and physical harm to the human body. That, however, is none of the government’s business. It is only the concern of the government if an individual violates the rights of another individual.”

“We will be unveiling further drugs that will be used as pill form substances. For now, I am authorizing that all sentences related to the production, manufacturing, sale, and use of every drug be cleared and that those inmates locked up behind bars who never committed force against anyone will have a chance to breathe free air once again.”

“If there is a land that is supposed to be about liberty then we should stand up for the right for citizens to sell tax-free drugs to other adults. It should be an incentive for people over the age of eighteen to be able to enter the market and flourish. Now, this is not a commercial. I nor any other government officials are ‘on the take’ for highlighting this excellent phenomenon. I’m simply painting a picture of what a Drug Conscious America would look like. We should be conscious of the fact that four hundred million Americans live here. For the most part, crime rates have plummeted compared to past times. So why this new program?”

“I want to see a United States unencumbered by the fetters of collectivism. As individualists, should we choose to practice such an art, we ought to be able to say what goes into our bodies and what affects our minds. If we are to be a nation of the people by the people and for the people, that means the individuals that make up that group. We tried the Prohibition of alcohol and that failed. The levels of police deaths skyrocketed while lawlessness exploded. Still, years later this War on Drugs collapsed on our heads as we saw American households go through ambivalence on whether to starve or make fortunes by providing poison to neighborhoods. Again, this is none of the government’s business. Whether a nineteen-year old wishes to sell these pills is his choice. Whether a twenty-seven-year old wants to feel the effects of drugs ought to be out of the purview of law enforcement and the judiciary.”

“In conclusion, that last bit about the user…if addiction were an issue even with this new chemical development, we would have private companies spring up around the country and provide services to those afflicted. They would be as federally, state, and locally tax-free as any other company in America. Once seen as a scourge, we ought to view drugs as a choice for adults and a means to build wealth and lives. Thank you, and there is no God but God bless America.”