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A Swim

A Dance

By Antoinette L BreyPublished about a year ago 3 min read
2
A Swim
Photo by Ben Griffiths on Unsplash

Every night at midnight, the purple clouds came out to dance with the blushing sky. Tonight she floated in the warm water lake. The water massaged her skin, she swam following the moves of the clouds. At times the purple wrapped around her, touching the lake's water. She heard the birds weaving through the clouds. They like flutes sang. She knew their songs by heart. She exited the lake and went and lay on the nearby rock ledges. The warmth of the clouds always shocked her. They seemed to absorb the water from her. She wanted to sleep here, but she knew the watch would come by after the clouds have returned to their stark white color. The sky was now lavender, time for her to dress and return to her home.

Her bed was so welcoming, but she was not quite ready for sleep. She looked out her ceiling window, at the pale white and lavender clouds. She sang the birds' song. She slowly faded off into a restful sleep.

The warmth of her morning bath woke her up. The waters soothed her skin. She was always amazed when she rubbed in the scent, how soft her skin felt.

Today she wore a loose flowing skirt for dancing. She would do today's ritual dance to promote the magic of the water. All the women had designated days to perform the dance. It was done in the center of the town. Every morning the ritual dance and meal started the day. And then everybody dissipated and went to do their daily chores.

She danced to the harps and flutes of the male musicians. The crowd swayed with her. She dreamed of the purple clouds and imagined their warmth. The joy she had felt the night before, helped lead her through the ritual. The ritual of the water clouds brought magic to the town. The music ended and she collapsed onto the ground. The musicians lifted her up and put her on a litter and carried her to the mess hall. She would get served first. Today she was the person with magic. She ate the ritual morning breakfast.

All the women had this power. The water had remained fresh warm and soothing for as long as her family had resided here. Five generations, which was as far back as she had references for.

After the meal, she went and changed into her work clothes. After the ritual, it always seemed hard to concentrate on the rest of the day. Her mind and her body were in a deep state of relaxation.

Anna observed the morning ritual and saw the fruit and vegetable meal, that the dancer had eaten. She was always mesmerized by the look on the dancer's face. Her class was learning the steps of the dance, but none of them looked like the woman who had danced today. They all looked as if they were struggling to make it through. And the boys in her class did not make their instruments sing like what she had heard this morning.

Anna was a student of life, but she wanted to live life not learn about how her life would be led. Not everything she did was regulated. She was on the swimming squad. It was her joy, her choice as well. She loved the feeling of her muscles, and the warmth of the water as she stroked through it, She often swam in the lake. But she had never been awake to experience the purple clouds. She had seen them through her window but had never felt them on her skin. She wanted to have a feeling which evoked the look on these women's faces. She wondered if dancing could be better than swimming.

Fantasy
2

About the Creator

Antoinette L Brey

I am an elder in a time of freedom. I am now retired. All i want to do is have fun. Without a daily routine, my imagination is one of my only salvations. I am not planning on writing a book, it is just for my own pleasure

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  4. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  5. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (2)

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  • Centina Alexa König-Weichhardtabout a year ago

    Antoinette, you have written a beautiful and imaginative piece of writing that transports the reader into a magical and mystical world. Your use of language and descriptive imagery is impressive, and it effectively conveys the atmosphere and mood of the story. Your story has a clear and engaging structure, with a well-defined beginning, middle, and end. You have successfully created a vivid and unique setting that is intriguing and full of wonder, and you have introduced characters that are both relatable and fascinating. Your use of sensory details such as the warmth of the water, the scent of the air, and the sound of the birds and music, really brings the story to life and helps the reader to feel like they are experiencing the same sensations as the characters. One area for improvement could be to focus on character development. While the main character is described in detail, we don't learn much about her personality or motivations beyond her love for the purple clouds and dancing. It would be interesting to learn more about what drives her and what her hopes and dreams are. Overall, this is a captivating and well-written piece of creative writing that shows great potential. Keep up the good work! If you like, you can check out my take on this challenge: https://vocal.media/fiction/the-alchemist-s-legacy

  • Matthew Boltonabout a year ago

    Great story, read it four times. Love how Anna wanted to live life to the full. Hope than one day she will be awake to experience her dream of the purple clouds!

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