A Smile I’ll Never Hold

The wind whispered through the air, but it couldn’t distract these eyes from the view ahead. It wasn’t the northern lights, nor a breathtaking skyline. Just a smile—wide and genuine. A smile so full of joy it made the world around it fade. Unknowingly, that smile reached my lips too. I hadn’t smiled all day. Strange, how just seeing someone you love—without them knowing—could bring such comfort. I wanted to walk up to him. To be a part of that smile. It had been my silent hope for years. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed near him anymore. God had forbidden it. He belonged to someone else now. He was happy. Without me. And I had to accept that. I had to turn around before I got caught in the trap of longing. But I couldn’t. My heart refused. How could he smile like that with someone he barely knew? And what about me? Wasn’t I allowed to be happy with him? “I was the first to know him. The first to admire him in silence. The one who held onto a love so deep... So why am I the one who lost? Why can’t I be with him? Why does God feel so unfair?” I muttered, eyes brimming with tears. One tear finally escaped, perhaps tired of hearing me blame fate, blame the world, blame love that never loved me back. “You’re a fool,” I told myself. “The biggest fool—crying over a love that was never yours. You should’ve known better. You should’ve seen this for what it was.” “Then what do I do? Please... someone help me let this love go. Help me forget him...” “Leave. Leave and never look back. If you can’t leave, hate him. Hate him enough that your heart lets go. You’ve lost. Accept it. You’ve already lost.” My teeth clenched, my lip trembled, and my sobs broke louder. If my tears could speak, they’d be debating those very thoughts right now. Fool. That’s what I am. I couldn’t stand seeing him happy with someone else. Turning away was the only choice. Not the best for my heart, but the only one left. Hurt? Who am I to feel hurt? Just someone who never got the chance to confess. Just someone who held it all inside... until time ran out. Because now... I’m no longer alive. I’m just a wandering soul. A ghost with unfinished business. I begged the angels for one last chance—to see the person I loved, just for a few moments, before they took me away. Just minutes ago, I was still human. But now, I’m something else. Something that can no longer love or be loved. Today was supposed to be the day. I had planned to tell him everything. But fate cut the thread before I could speak. All I have left is a bitter smile on pale lips. Not the happy ending I imagined. That fantasy? Gone. Wasted. Even my last wish—to give him the gift I held so tightly in my hands—was denied. He had already made his choice. And it wasn’t me. “Is it over?” the angel asked. I nodded. My voice had left me. For one last time, I turned to see him. To make sure he was truly happy. I didn’t know who the person beside him was. But I knew they were luckier than me. Our story ends here. And so does my life. As we walked past the scene of my death, I saw my body—broken, bloody, and still clutching a small pink box. The gift I had prepared for him. A gift he’ll never receive. ---End---