A Series: Chapter 12

Let's Go All The Way by Sly Fox plays on the radio and Steve steps out of the Uber, his dress shoes feeling light as a feather when it touches the sidewalk. Larry and Warren soon follow him out, all of them wearing suits (minus ties) looking dapper on a Saturday. Each of them taking time to adjust their fits (watch straps, lifting the blazer collar, etc) before heading into the bar like movie stars. "Okay we should have gone to a club" Larry says looking around the bar which is completely empty "That's on me" not even the bartender in sight "And not at 4pm" Warren adds.

Take 2. Again, like a feather, when Steve steps out of another Uber, this time to a far more busy line outside of a very popular club downtown at a much more appropriate time. Again, the boys do the same adjustment to their outfits they did before the only difference (a quite big one) being an audience.

Warren: Lowers his sunglasses looking at a group of girls standing outside the line, and gives them a nod and a smile, but they don't react or notice. Larry: Does something similar in idea but far different in execution, looking at a different group of girls. Larry moves his hips dancing and giving a seductive smile, all of the ladies give a bad look, one even pretending to throw up. Steve: Adjusting his watch strap as he glances around, he notices mostly everyone in the line is looking at him, some girls give him a smile, some girls whisper things into their friends ear, some girls start to twirl their hair.

Steve starts walking towards the back of the line but doesn't get many steps in before Larry stops him, redirecting him to the front. They all walk to the front but get interrupted by the large, portly doorman. "Back of the line fellas" the big bouncer says to them when they try to cut in "Excuse me good sir, how are you this evening?" Larry starts "Back of the line..." the bouncer responds unimpressed. "Yes, normally I would but tonight isn't a normal night and your club isn't just having a normal run-of-the-mill patron" Larry says back in a car salesman type of dialect "What are you talking about little man?" the bouncer asks annoyed but a little swayed by Larry. He lets two girls go inside. "Do you use the internet?" Larry turns around to Steve, but sees Warren instead so he moves Warren out of the way and grabs Steve pulling him beside himself "See, inter web celebrity" the bouncer looks at Steve for a second..."OH, you're that flasher guy from the Town Hall" the bouncer says smiling and laughing "My pants fell" "And all the blood from your head too huh" the bouncer laughs again and pauses "...Ok ok you guys can wait here. Man, my girl showed me that video and I thought she was going to leave me for a white guy" he pauses and looks Larry up and down "Not really though" he finally starts to let them in "Have a good time fellas"

They walk inside the packed club. People at the bar, people at tables, people on the dance floor, the lights glowing everywhere while We Trying to Stay Alive by Wyclef Jean blasts through the speakers. "So, what's the plan?" Warren shouts to the guys "I got two..." Larry begins. "One: We go to the bar order drinks and shots. Scout around for ladies', get said ladies' attention, dance over to the ladies' and show them the video of Steve's penis and get laid. Two: Go to the bar. Get drinks and shots, stand there and look around until the ladies' recognize Steve and come over to us then...get laid" Warren and Steve look at each other, then at Larry "I can't tell if you put too much thought into that or not enough" Warrens says to him "Let's go to the bar. And get a drink" Steve says starting to make his way over through the crowd. They find an open spot at the bar and post up. Larry tries multiple times to get the bartenders attention and can't "Am I def? Do I have to sign to this asshole?" hey says looking at Warren and Steve disappointed "Holy shit you're the dick" The bartender says coming over to Steve "Pardon?" Steve yells over the bar "The guy from the video at Town Hall" the bartender says while pouring drinks to other customers, Steve nods his head and the bartender asks what he can get him. "Uhm... two rye and cokes, a gin and tonic with three shots of tequila" Steve says leaning on the bar "Coming right up daddy long leg" the bartender says winking and laughing. "Okay, that's step one" Larry starts "But what's next..." a hardbody in a short black dress walks by and checks Steve out, smiling as she recognizes him "...Step..." Larry finishes "I think the step is for Steve to talk to that girl" Warren says while watching the girl walk away "Can't we just like, get a table first?" Steve asks "No" Larry tells him "Nope" Warren says agreeing with Larry immediately "Steve we've discussed this, you just have to say 'hi' and wait until they ask if 'you're that from the video' it's already happened already" Larry exclaims. Steve grabs his drink from the bar takes a sip and pulls out his wallet but before he pays the hardbody in the short black dress comes up to him and touches his arm "I'm sorry for grabbing you like this I literally never do this but are you the guy from the Town Hall video?" she asks him loudly and politely and seductively as the music changes to Can't Feel My Face by The Weekend. Larry and Warren stand there watching them, realizing the 'plan' is actually working. Steve takes another sip "Yeh that's me" he tells her confidently, like how Idris Elba would if he was James Bond. "I thought that was you yea" she laughs "I think you're hilarious I've watched it so many times...So you're real then?" Steve looks at her confused "Pardon?" he asks and she smirks and leans in closer "You didn't edit the video like" she leans in more, her arm still on his "You're that big?" Steve almost chokes on his drink before saying "Yes" and laughing and she soon joins in on his laughter. "Why don't you come over and sit with my friends and I? It will be fun we can talk some more" Steve smiles "Yeah sure...Uhm is there room for my friends too?" Steve looks over at Warren and Larry who are both just staring at them "Yeah yeah okay, that's fine I brought one of my ugly friends tonight so she will be happy" after that Warren and Larry look at each other, both looking at each other up and down puzzled. "I'm Jada by the way" she offers Steve her hand and he shakes it lightly. She doesn't let go and starts leading him to her table. Before they follow, Warren and Larry take their shots, Larry taking Steve's "Hey. You guys still gotta pay" the bartender says leaning on the bar "What about him?" Larry says pointing at Steve walking away "He doesn't have to, he's kinda famous...and hung like bull" Larry and Warren both scowl and pull out their wallets.

Now at the table the boys are snuggled into a crowded booth. Steve is sitting between Jada (on the end) and one of her friends, Warren is sitting next to the friend beside Steve and sitting beside another girl, who is sitting beside another friend. Larry is on the other end of the booth opposite Jada and the only one not between two girls. The girl next to Larry is having a conversation with her friend and Larry leans in "I really love this song" she doesn't say anything back and just gives him a polite smile, then continues her conversation. He then leans in further and says the same thing to the other girl. "I know, I heard you say the same thing to my friend" she says and Larry leans back and then tries making eye contact with Warren, who is having his own conversation "And that's why I feel LeBron trumps the 'rings' debate" "I just don't think he has the same grit or influence as Joran, sorry he'll never be better" Larry leans in and interrupts them "Hey Warren, I really love this song; we should go dance man" Warren looks over at him "Why don't you ask the girls sitting beside you to dance?" he says trying to get back to the conversation with the girl (biggest tits of the group too) "They don't like this song I already asked" both girls look over at him annoyed "We never said we didn't like the song, we just don't like you" one of them says "What? Why? I'm a delight that's just-" the other girl cuts him off "You're trying way too hard to be cool man, at least your friend found something to talk about with one of us" "Steve isn't talking" Larry says looking over at Steve, who is making out deeply with Jada "Okay Steve doesn't count never mind, but how am I supposed to talk to you about stuff if we have nothing in common, you hate all music" Larry says "You've told us 'I really love this song' for the past three songs" one of the girls says while laughing and taking a drink "I have a large variety of music enjoyment" he says to them while they roll their eyes. Warren looks over at Larry unimpressed "Fine. Larry may I have a word?" "We just have to figure out which one of you is the ugly friend" Larry says as he stands up but he says it quietly . Awkwardly Warren gets out of the booth and him and Larry walk into the washroom to talk. The washroom is crowed and loud so they have to sorta yell at each other "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Warren asks "I'm trying man okay I'm sorry I just don't wanna sit there" "No dude look, all the shit you've tried to talk about isn't working, but I'm actually having a conversation with this girl and if you keep interrupting thats going to fault me. I need you to focus and take one for the team, I'm trying to fly here. Did you see the size of her boobies'? Your numbers being called man you gotta make the wingman play" Warren says passionately to his friend "Yeah but, like, I wanna get laid too" Larry says back whining "Larry your ship is sinking man...I need you" Warren says and there is a pause, Larry takes in what he just heard "You don't think I can save the ship? Not even a lifeboat?" "You'll need a miracle mate" again there is another pause "Fuck. Fine, fine but only because I love analogies" they high five and before they leave they hear "That's a metaphor, not an analogy" from a guy standing in front of a urinal.

Plowing and paving their way through he crowed club back to the booth, only Steve is there when the guys return "What happened? Where are the girls?" Warren asked confused sitting down "They left" Steve says finishing up his drink "Well shit" Warren says disappointed while Larry lets out a sigh of relief "Well I guess none of us are getting lucky tonight" Warren says looking over at Larry "Actually, I'm going back to Jada's she waiting for me outside...so I'll see you guys later" Steve says getting up "Can we come?" Larry asks Steve and Warren slaps his arm "Set sail captain" Steve leaves and Larry sits down next to Warren. A waitress comes over to them with a bill in hand "Your 'girlfriends' said you have the bill covered" she says handing it to Larry "I guess we did get fucked tonight" "Proper fucked"