A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE

I think I was sane when I woke up this morning. At least nothing had pointed to the contrary.

A day spent shopping. What could go wrong?

But now, I was here, with Security Guards standing on either side of me, each with a firm hand holding my arms.

“She just lost it! Total psycho!” someone muttered.

I sat in an empty office at the back of the Department Store, the staff, all of which had been invisible when I wanted them, had come from all corners and needless to say, had called security to deal with the mad woman on their hands.

Sitting there on my own, I tried to understand what had just happened. I didn’t realize, before now, just how much stress I was under. The thought that Christmas was once again so close must have just tipped me over the edge.

Those Christmas carols must have been playing on rotation because ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ was coming through the speakers again. This time, I allowed my mind to drift back to Christmas 2014 and a party that changed my life.

Call me young, stupid and reckless and I would agree on all counts. But hey, what’s the point of being young and carefree if you don’t have fun. Falling for someone is just part of that package.

It was one hell of a party and I remember sitting around, drinking and singing. We were trying to sing Christmas carols and the more we drank, the more outrageous our attempts to remember the words of each song became.

Daniel and I had hit it off the minute we had met. As the night progressed, I couldn’t help but feel the physical pull he had on me. My skin tingled like I was being zapped by static electricity every time he was close or he touched me.

The carolling had turned into a bit of a competition to see who remembered words to songs. Daniel and I were the only ones to remember all the words to ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’. We both laughingly led everyone in a rousing rendition and on the final ‘. . . partridge in a pear tree’, Daniel kissed me.

I fell hard and fast for Daniel, so you can imagine my devastation when I found out he was leaving in a few weeks to head overseas for three years as part of his contract for work. He was excited about the opportunities opening up to him and I knew how he felt as I had just started a new job, six months before, and I was feeling quite confident I had a future there too. We made the most of the weeks we had together but, at the end of it, we called it quits knowing long distance was unlikely to work for either of us. We were both far too young to throw away our career goals.

Three months later, I found out I was pregnant. Despite pressure from my friends, I resisted the urge to contact Daniel. I honestly couldn’t see the point in two lives being totally derailed. I felt that this was up to me and I would deal with it.

I was lucky enough that my gut instinct about the Company I worked for was actually spot on. They supported me with maternity leave once Grace was born and then, on returning to work, they helped sort my hours to fit in with childcare. There was plenty of room for advancement when I was ready but for now, with Grace so young and needing me, I was happy to coast. The pay wasn’t bad but by the time I forked out for rent, child care fees, utilities and food, there wasn’t much left.

That’s why today’s shopping expedition had been a real triumph for me. Today had actually been the first pair of new shoes Grace had ever had. Charity and Op-Shops were generally our life line when it came to that sort of thing.

All through Grace’s last term at school, when she complained that her shoes were hurting, I had assured her, come the spring holidays, I would get her a new pair of shoes. Well, I saved like mad, skimping wherever I could, even furtively collecting aluminium cans, for their cash-back value, from local trash bins, always fearful and hoping to God no one recognized me. But I did it! I saved enough and it was wonderful today to see the smile on her face when she got to pick out the ones she wanted. It was only the discount shoe shop; I couldn’t even contemplate the other shoe stores with their price tags. Grace was just so happy and she didn’t even mind when we went the next size up just so I could get a little breathing space before having to buy another pair. She was growing so fast, I would be lucky if she got through to the end of the year. I picked up some lambs wool inner soles – they would take up the bit of slack in the shoes for now.

My friend, Kay, was getting new shoes for her son, Shane, too. We had made a day of it so together we could help each other out. I had taken Grace and Shane for a little while this morning so Kay could get her hair cut; now she was returning the favour whilst I got the last item on my list. A few pairs of white school socks, that’s all I needed and I should just have enough money left – I hoped.

Tired and flustered, I rushed into the Department Store looking for signs to the kids clothing section. This was Kay’s usual shopping centre to go to, not mine, so I was lost. School holiday time in shopping centres is mayhem at the best of times but just before school is due to return, it’s the pits! Thousands more, like me, trying to get last minute stuff for school and you get the picture right?

I was madly trying to look for signs or something to indicate I was at least on the right floor, when I turned at the end of an aisle and stumbled over a bloody Christmas tree. Looking up from my new perspective at floor level, I could see Christmas decorations hanging everywhere from the roof and then, as if on cue, the sound of Christmas carols blasted from the store speakers.

Christmas carols for God’s sake! This was still September!

What! The! Hell!!

I tried to disengage myself from the baubles, tinsel and branches of the tree, with the help of several people, when ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ started playing. A red haze filled my mind and all coherent thought was gone.

“She was shouting and mumbling something about pear trees and saying ‘who has ever seen that?’ I didn’t know what to do when she started screaming ‘It can’t be Christmas!’ and ‘Stop the music’. I just thought it best to call security and let them deal with her safely,” said the Supervisor to his boss.

“Hi, I’m the store Manager, Jack Lovell”, he said to Maddie. “Can you tell me your name?”

My head was still in a fog and I was having trouble answering.

“Do you mind if I check for identification in your bag?” he asked.

I just shrugged. I felt like the weight of the world had just crushed me and I was still trying to fight my way out from under.

The Manager took my purse out and pulled my licence out. “Maddison Cartwright”, he said. “Now, Maddison, is there anyone we can contact for you; Husband; Parents?”

I shook my head, still trying to regain my composure; I said “I’m here with my friend, Kelly. Could you please ring her for me? Her number is in my phone.”

As the Manager returned my licence to my purse, he paused as he saw the photo I had tucked in the sleeve. He looked back at me and said “Do people call you Maddie?” he asked.

“Yes”, I said. “Why?”

He shoved my phone towards the Supervisor and told him to call my friend. He also told him to make sure I didn’t leave till he came back. He gave me a strange look and rushed out the door.

The Supervisor finally reached Kelly and explained where I was and suggested she come to the store. He then left me there, staring at the four walls. I spent the next ten minutes doing deep breathing exercises and trying to blank out the sounds coming from the speakers.

I heard a commotion outside the door and thought it must be Kay arriving but then I heard a male voice.

“Are you sure about this Jack?” he said.

“Listen, it is the same. I have sat looking at it on your desk for the past three years. Yes, I’m sure. And how many Maddie Cartwrights can there be; with that in their purse?”

The door opened and I looked up at the man standing there. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or hide.

But just then, a tiny whirlwind of flying blonde hair burst through the door and my daughter flung herself into my arms.

“Mummy, they are playing Christmas carols and there are decorations up everywhere. Can we go and look?”

I pulled her onto my lap and held her tight. She squirmed around and looked over at the men standing in the doorway. Just then, Kay entered with her son.

“What the hell happened to you?” said Kay.

“Oh, I just had a bit of a tumble”, I said “but I’m fine now”.

Daniel was still staring at me and then looking down at Grace. He would have to be blind to miss the resemblance. His mouth kept opening as if he was going to say something but obviously he was lost for words.

Kay turned to the men and then recognition registered on her face.

“Oh God!” she said. “It’s him! Wow! ”

She turned to me, smiled and suggested she take the children for a walk around the store to check out the Christmas decorations and with a wink, she gathered them and left.

Jack, the manager, looked from Dan to me and just smiled and walked away.

After nearly seven years, the man that had changed my life stood before me. He crossed the room and sat in the chair beside me.

“Hi Maddie”, he said. “You are a sight for sore eyes after all these years”.

My heart was pounding in my ears and I wasn’t sure if my voice would even work. I just sat looking into those eyes, the same colour as Grace’s and felt the years just slip away and then, as if on cue, the ‘Twelve Days of Christmas’ started playing again.

“Who has ever seen a partridge in a pear tree?” said Daniel.

“It’s still a mystery to me”, I said.

“Would you be free for dinner tonight to discuss the origins of the carol?” said Daniel. “I know you know the words but I have done a lot of research into the carol over the last six years. I’m sure you would be interested.”

And with a simple "Yes", my world righted itself once again.