A Morning Visit

Today, I want to do something different. Normally, I begin writing with some subject in mind. It might only be a thought that occurred to me, something I’d read or something I saw online. This morning, I just want to chat. Is that okay? Do you mind?

Okay, I’ll get us each a cup of whatever you want to drink, and we can sit and enjoy the morning out in the garden.

I’m going to have another cup of coffee. I like chocolate creamer in mine. Sometimes I add an extra spoonful of hot chocolate powder. Back in the day, I’d take a shot of cognac. Oooh, does that taste good in my imagination. However, I don’t drink anymore, so chocolate will have to do.

You want some tea? I’ve got regular or some Red Zinger. That’s good stuff. I like that in the afternoon for a pick-me-up. So, regular for you? Good, let’s get settled.

Do you have any cookies?

Yes, I’ve got some Maria Biscuits. They’re light, and I think they go perfectly with a cup of coffee or tea. Does that sound good?

Yes, please. Have you noticed how weird the weather has been lately?

Well, it gets hotter in the afternoon, but at least the mornings are still nice. I’m not getting headaches, so I don’t think anything is going to change in the near future.

Why do you get headaches when the weather changes?

I don’t know. It used to be only when rain was coming. About three days before, I’d wake up every morning with a headache. Now, it happens even when hot weather is coming, so something has changed. I called a local weatherman years ago to ask if he’d ever heard of such a thing. He said he got them, and a lady at their station would get them too. I started calling them a barometric headache.

Humph. An early warning system.

Yes, but just for the weather. So, what have you been doing lately that’s been interesting?

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy gardening. That man next door peers out from the bathroom window in their house with his binoculars.

Does his wife know?

Yes, I’ve told her. She just rolls her eyes.

You ought to give him something to look at.

Like I should pull up my shirt?

No, that’s too obvious. We should think of it. Oh, no.

What?

What about a sign? If you do it on that big dry-erase board, you could swap it out every once in a while. Are they on Facebook?

I don’t know.

Just put their name and the town in the Facebook search.

It’s a thought. How about this: “What are you peering at, you old lecher?”

Yes. What about rhyming something?

There once was a man named Fletcher.
Who turned out to be a lecher.
He drooled on the sill,
As he looked down the hill,
Till his wife laid him out on a stretcher.

 You got that out of thin air?

Sometimes they come that way. I can usually get the first two lines, but then I have to spend longer on the rest. I think it’s sort of like moving into a different mindset, like you do when you’re doing a word puzzle.

If you say so.

Well, it just feels different. Like when I was trying to learn how to be a psychic. I’d pretend and imagine how something would be once it happened and I turned psychic. Then, once it really did happen, it was nothing like I had imagined.

How so?

Well, it was just like an ordinary life.  Except I got to talk to more people. Like I am with you?

What? Are you kidding me? I’m right here. I’m flesh and blood. What do you mean I’m imaginary?

Well, I’m still sort of feeling this out, but I’m a writer imagining a conversation, and you sort of popped up out of nowhere.

After the Conversation: This little exchange started as a bit of morning play. I sat down to write, and a visitor wandered in asking for Maria Biscuits. The conversation took on a life of its own, as they sometimes do. I loved writing it. I hope it gave you a smile.

Pauline Evanosky