A Hollywood Ending, Night 1

Opening Ceremonies

It’s showtime, folks!!!(In a Sting (the wrestler) font) Becky G, who I have never heard of is brought out to perform, America the Beautiful. I thought she was a WWE diva at first by how she was dressed.

She wasn’t too bad. I’ll give her a 3 out of 5 stars. Now you know it’s Hollywood so you also know that WWE has to bring in the celebs. They kicked things off with a video packaged narrated by Kevin Hart.

Then they aired a video package of the event’s history. This year, Wrestlemania is broadcasting from the SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California. The Miz and Snoop Dogg are the hosts for tonight’s event.

My only question is where is Maryse?! I know that hot, little mama right there would certainly bring up the ratings among other things. Oops! I pushed the wrong button and lost the feed to the event. Okay! I got it all back now.

Match 1: Austin Theory vs. John Cena (United States Title Match)

The Austin Theory vs. John Cena match for the U.S. title opening up tonight’s show. The champion Theory is introduced to the ring first followed by the challenger Cena. Cena is joined by a group of Make-A-Wish kids as they wish him well in his bout.

Cena playing some mind games with the young champ. They tie up and Cena hit’s a shoulder tackle for the take down. They lock up again as Cena takes him over with a headlock as the crowd chants lets go Cena and Cena sucks simultaneously. Ahhh, it all feels like 2009 again.

Cena with another shoulder tackle on Theory. Theory turns things around with an elbow tie-up which results in him biting Cena. He hops out the ring and sneaks back in attacks Cena from behind.

He hit’s a suplex for a 2 count. He hits another snap suplex and a kick out by Cena at 2. He sets him up for another one but Cena counters and hits a suplex of his own.

Cena with some punches as he sends Theory into the corner. Theory hits a blockbuster for another 2 count then poses for the fans. He hops through the middle ropes and delivers a drop kick for a 2 count on Cena.

He goes for it again and is swatted away by Cena as he locks in the STF. Theory bites Cena to escape the submission hold and then flattens Cena with a clothesline.

He does the u-cant-c-me sign then follows up with some punches. Theory with a nonchalant cover on Cena in which he kicks out of. A stomp to the chest of Cena by the young champion.

Theory with a snapmare takeover then a stomp to the chest. Another snapmare followed by a stomp attempt which Cena blocks and turns into an Attitude Adjustment attempt in which Theory counters out of it and into a DDT for a 2 count.

A running clothesline in the corner on the challenger. He goes for another but Ccena steps out the way as the two trade punches back and forth. Theory comes off the ropes and catches Cena in a sleeper hold.

Theory jumps on top of Cena’s back to make the hold even more devastating. Cena rams him into the corner turnbuckle. Cena with a series of knockdowns followed by a back suplex.

He lands the u-can’t-c-me elbow drop. He goes for another Attitude Adjustment attempt which Theory blocks as they knock out the referee in the process. Theory ends up getting put into the STF in which he taps out to but the referee is still down.

Theory delivers a low blow to Cena and then delivers the A-Town Down for the pinfall. The match was really good. It was well-designed to make Theory look like the next big star in which he is. I’ll give it 3 out of 5 stars.

Commercial Break & More Advertisements

WWE with a Snickers commercial which I believe is the sponsor for this grand event. And you know the WWE has some new merch to sell you so they air a series of advertisements for The Shop, which is where you can go to purchase WWE merchandise.

SoFi Stadium is really beautiful I must say. A video package airs promoting the upcoming fatal 4 way tag team match. Titus O’Neil is introduced as the global ambassador for the WWE as he joins the color commentators to call this next match. Does the guy still wrestle?!

Match 2: Braun Strowman & Ricochet vs. The Viking Raiders vs. Alpha Academy vs. The Street Profits (Fatal 4 Way Tag Team Match)

Braun Strowman & Ricochet are introduced first. Up next are the Viking Raiders accompanied by Valhalla and I can’t really see how she looks because she’s in makeup but I bet she’s one cutie underneath all that vampirish-looking makeup.

The Alpha Academy are brought out next. The Street Prophets are announced last. Ricochet and Chad Gable start off the match. Gable with the ankle lock and a series of athletic feats between the 2 until Otis is tagged in.

Gable tags back in as Ricochet tags in Strowman. All the big men have a stare down which each other. Then they are joined by their partners when they just start beating the crap out of each other.

Viking Raiders are dominating the participants. Amazing athletcism by the size of these guys. Strowman with a big time shoulder tackle knocking both Raiders down.

Gable with a rolling suplex on the 300 plus pound big man. Dawkins tags himself in and tries a swanton bomb but he misses his target. Ivar tags in and goes for a moonsault. Strowman is heading to the top rope and he hits a splash on Ivar which is broken up at a 2.

Otis hits the World’s Strongerst Slam on Strowman. Ford with a kick and delivers one to Ricochet. Now I don’t know how to describe this next move but it was a double rope top suplex as the suplexeers where on the shoulders of their partners with them landing a huge suplex on the suplex-ee which was Ford.

Strowman is standing strong. Here comes the Strowman Express. He tries to do it again but Angelo Dawkins who crashes into the big man taking him down.

Ricochet with a shooting star press from inside the ring to the outside taking out Dawkins. He slides the big man back into the ring and goes for another shooting star press but Dawkins gets his knees upl

Ricochet comes crashing down on his knees which allows Ford to hit his awe-inspiring Frog Splash that allows his partner to get the pinfall.

The match was incredible. I did my absolute best to try and keep up with these guys but I knew I had no chance at all when the bell rung. This match is an easy 4 out of 5 stars.

Match 3: Seth “Freakin” Rollins vs. Logan Paul

Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul is up next. More WWE promoting I see as they promote their new video game WWE 2k23. We got a video package showing the genesis of their rivalry.

Logan Paul is brought out or carried up on a zip line as he makes his way to the ring. And he’s accompanied to the ring by the Prime Energy mascot. Gotta get that free promo any way you can get it I guess.

Where is Dorado Beach exactly! Apparently, it’s in Puerto Rico. I was thinking that Logan Paul was Puerto Rican at first but the story goes that he moved there away Cali to avoid those high taxes.

I was about to say that he might want to get those 23AndMe results checked out. Seth Rollins is out next and the cat came with his own composer. OOOOOOOOH OOOOOOH OOOOOH OOOOOOOOOOh!!!

Both men are showing off their God-given abilities with Paul getting the better of Rollins early on. Rollins gets raked across the top rope. Paul delivers a Maverick Lariat.

Paul looking for the knockout shot which connects in the midsection of Rollins sending him down to the mat. Paul with a knee to Rollins knocking him back down. Stomp to the abdomen by Paul.

Paul with a crossbody block followed by a moonsault. Paul tries to get the pinfall a few times but to no avail. A forearm by Rollins. Paul takes down Reigns and places leg scissors over Rollins head.

He fights out of it with a chop to the chest as the 2 engage in strikes. Rollins tries a colthesline but Paul turns it into a gut wrench suplex. Paul jumps up from the ground and onto the top turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault but misses.

Rollins takes over with a series of punches on Paul. Rollins tosses him over the top rope as he yells at him,

YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS. BYE, BYE B***H

Rollins delivers a series of dives. Rollins delivers a stomp to Paul’s injured hand on the steel steps. Rollins sets up a Pedigree. Paul counters as they both wrap each other in a series of cradles looking for the pinfall.

Rollins runs into the knockout punch but Rollins somehow kicks out. Paul goes for the Curb Stomp but Rollins catches him in a powerbomb for a 2 count.

Prime Energy drink guy pulls Paul out the ring which is revealed as KSI who’s one of Paul’s business partners along with being a popular Youtuber. Never heard of him either. Paul lays Rollins across the announcers table and heads up to the top rope.

Rollins pulls KSI on the table and Paul splashes him through the table. Rollins hurries Paul back into the ring to hit the Pedigree but only gets a 2 count.

Rollins with 2 rolling elbows. Rollins goes for the Curb Stomp but gets caught in the GTS. He heads to the top rope and hits a fog splash for 2 count.

Logan is stomping away at Seth Rollins. Paul heads back up to the top rope for a coast to coast attempt but gets caught with a superkick by Rollins and then the Curb Stomp for the pinfall. Good match. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Commercial Break №1,298,3987

Another Snickers commercial but it’s good to see Big E back on tv again. Continue well wishes for an even fuller recovery for the big guy.

Match 4: Damage CTRL vs. Lita, Trish Stratus & Becky Lynch

Damage CTRL vs. Trish Stratus, Lita & Becky Lynch is the next match. A video package is played breaking down how this matchup came about. Damage CTRL is out first.

The WWE needs to hire back Jim Johnston like yesterday because these themes could use his touch very badly. Lita’s music hits first followed by Stratus and then Lynch as the trio heads to the ring.

They had like a monochrome effect going on here at first. Now they’re back in color. A brawl breaks out between the 2 trios as the match starts. Lynch is being worked over in the corner by Damage CTRL.

Sky with a quick cover for a 1 count. Lynch tries to fight back but eats a drop kick on Becky Lynch. Triple neck breaker on Lynch gets a 2 count. Dakota with a knee stomp.

Damage CTRL has done a great job of isolating her away from her team. Lynch with a jawbreaker as she sends Bayley outside. Bayley pulls down Stratus preventing the tag. Lynch fights back and lands a clothesline but she still can’t get the tag to one of her partners.

She finally gets the tag to Lita. Lita with a series of knock downs and lands a hurricarana. Lita lands the Vertigo for a 2 count. Lita gets kicked off the top rope for a near fall.

Triple kicks as Bayley goes for the cover. Another near fall. CTRL is controlling this match thus far. All 3 ladies are working over Lita keeping her on their side of the ring.

Lita counters a double suplex with a double ddt. She tags in Stratus. Stratus hits a neckbreaker for a 2 count. Trish runs into an elbow. Lita and Lynch lifts Trish up as she lands a hurricarana from the top rope.

Lita gets tagged in and hits poetry in motion. Lynch hit’s a top rope leg drop for 2. She locks in the Disarmer which Bayley breaks up with a knee to the back of Lynchs head.

Bayley hits the Rose Plant but the cover is broken up by Lita. Trish hits Stratus Faction. Lynch tries to roll up Bayley but only gets a 2 count. Sky hits a moonsault and takes out all the ladies outside. The ladies make it back into the ring before getting counted out.

Another brawl breaks out between these ladies in which they all hit their siganature moves. Lynch gets the pin on Bayley when she hits the Manhandle Slam from the top rope. Match was okay. I’ll give it 2.5 out of 5.

They air a video package promoting WWE Raw Womens Championship for tomorrow night.

Match 5: Dominik Mysterio vs Rey Mysterio

Dominik Mysterio Vs Rey Mysterio is up next. They air a video package breaking down this upcoming confrontation. More celebs I see. Bad Bunny is announced as he joins the Spanish commentating team.

The Dominik Mysterio prison video is funny as heck and the black tear underneath his eye is a nice touch as well. Lol. Dominik is receiving a police escort into the arena.

Plus, he’s rocking a mask like his father would wear and his theme music sounds pretty good too. The young man has built up some major heat with the crowd. He’s escorted to the ring in handcuffs by police officers.

Rey Mysterio coming out in a low rider with Snoop Dogg driving with Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg’s Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang playing in the background. Then they switch into Eddie Guerrero’s theme as a tribute. Then the music segues into Mysterio’s own theme.

One thing WWE can still do is put on a heck of a show with the entrances. If they cant do anything else, they can do that. The father and son stand toe to toe with Dominik pushing his father away.

The 2 tie up with his son getting the best of the exchange and then poses. Dom with a take down. Rey with an elbow to his son and then throws him outside.

A shoving match ensues. Dom with a shoulder tackle. Rey with a hurricanrana as he poses for the crowd. Dom slaps his father. Dom tries to send his father into the corner turnbuckle but Rey reverses and throws him into the ringpost.

Rey takes off his belt and whips his son with it. Dom heads outside and throws a drink in his sister’s face. Rey comes to defend his daughter and gets taken out by his son.

Dom hits a top rope corkscrew. Dom putting the boots to this father. He puts his father into an abdominal stretch. Rey fights out of it and takes down his son.

Dom with a deep arm drag from the top rope. He hits a sitdown power slam for a 2 count. Dom hangs Rey over the top rope. Dom gets slapped by his mama after he talks down to her.

Rey crashes into the ring post. Rey heads to the top and lands a sit down press on his son. Rey rolls up his son for a 2 count. Rey with the Guerrero shake.

Dom is begging for mercy. Dom lands a reverse powerbomb into the bottom rope for a 2 count. That was a sick looking move too. 2 of the other 4 members of The Judgement Day arrive at ringside.

Dom goes for the three amigos but Rey blocks it and lands the 619. Damian Priest aids Dom to help him get the upper hand. Dom hoists his dad upon his shoulders but Rey counters it with a leg takeover the top rope.

The LWO comes out to Reys aide by taking out Balor and Priest. Dom hits the 619. He heads to the top rope with a frog splash but he only gets a 2 count.

Dom exposes the steel turnbuckle. He grabs a chain which is taken away by Bad Bunny. 619 by Rey as he heads to the top rope and hits the Frog Splash for the win. A really good contest. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

Michael Cole is on point tonight. His color commentary is top notch. I just hope that Vince realizes that too and not yelling in his ear every freaking second. Another commercial. This time it’s for Cricket with the commercial featurning one of the hosts of the event, The Miz.

Match 6: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte Flair (Smackdown Women’s Championship Match)

The Smackdown Women’s Championship between Rhea Ripley and Charlotte Flair is next. A video packaged is aired to promote their upcoming bout.

Now I have question about Ms. Ripley. Did the woman shrink or something because I could’ve swore when they stood next to each other a few years back that they were the same height.

Now all of a sudden, it seems as if shes about 2 inches shorter then her these days. Rhea Ripley is introduced first. Charlotte Flair is out next. Her music sounds like something they would play on RuPaul’s Drag Race show.

The two ladies lockup in the middle of the ring. Flair takes over and works on her arm and gives her a few slaps to the back of the head. Flair tries a shoulder tackle but to no avail as Ripley lands one of her own taking down the champion.

They have another exchange in which Flair sends Ripley outside. Flair with a vicious knife edge chop. Flair with elbow shots to the head as Rhea sends her into the corner.

Flair does a backflip over the top and poses for the fans. She lands a crossbody block. Rhea lifting up Flair on her shoulder for a reverse electrical chair.

Ripley stomps away at the champion. Flair with some more elbows but it doesn’t phase the challenger. Ripley with a scissors lock on Flair followed with some elbows to Flairs back. Flair overturns the submission and rolls up Ripley for 2.

Ripely with some bone-crushing shots to the back of Flair sending her to her knees as the crowd cheers on. Flair fights back but gets caught into a German suplex.

Ripley with a series of clotheslines as she continus to dominate the match. Flair trying to make a comeback and lands a few clotheslines of her own to a series of boos.

She delivers a series of knife edge chops to Ripley. Flair starts attacking Ripley’s power base which is her legs. Flair starts to assert her dominance in this match as the fans chant lets go Rhea-lets go Charlotte.

Flair with a cross body block in which Rhea turns into a Rip Tide attempt but Flair counters her with a ddt but only gets a 2 count. Flair goes for a figure 4 attempt but Rhea blocks it.

She goes for another figure 4 attempt but Rhea blocks that one as well. Both women land big boots taking each other down. The women are back to their feet slugging it out.

Flair hits a fall away slam and a kip up. Flair heads up top. Ripley counters with a reverse suplex from the top rope but only gets a 2 count. Flair hits Natural Selection but Ripley kicks out.

Flair tries to attack Ripley outside but Rhea dodges out the way and sends Flair crashing into the steel steps. Ripley hits some sort of variation of a suplex but she only gets a 2 count.

She attempts a Rip Tide but Flair turns it into a series of suplexes. Rhea hits one of her own that looked very dangerous. Flair fights off another attempt and hits a big kick but Rhea gets a shoulder up.

Ripley bloks another figure 4 attenpt. Flair hits another running boot knocking Ripley off the ring apron onto the floor. Flair heads to the top rope for her infamous moonsault.

Rhea blocks another figure 4 attempt and hits a head buttt and hits the Rip Tide but Flair kicks out somehow. I thought the match was over right there. Flair rolls her up in a small package but Ripley kicks out.

Ripley puts her in a submission hold called The Prism. Flair is able to get to the ropes to force the break. Flair with a spear. Ripley kicks out. The ladies are slugging it out and Charlotte yells out to Rhea:

YOU WANT MY PLACE?!

Flair with a big boot and now she has the figure 4 on as Rhea scurries quickly to the ropes. Flair rams Rhea’s head into the ring post. She takes her to the top rope.

Charlotte ends up hitting the ring apron. Ripley nails the Rip Tide from the top rope for the pinfall and is the NEWWWWW Smackdown Women’s Champion. An amazing match. I’ll give it 4.5 stars out of 5.

A video package is aired promoting the Intercontinental Title match between Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Gunther for tomorrow night. Austin Theory is interviewed about his victory over John Cena from earlier tonight.

Mtn Dew is sponsoring a chance for a free trip to Wrestlemania 40 which will be in Philly next year. The hosts are brought back out to announce the attendance numbers of the event. “80,497” is the number that they gave out.

Somebody get Dave Meltzer on the phone to find out if that’s really the real number. Pat McAfee comes out to interrupt the Miz’s promo. Pat McAfee comes out and accepts The Miz’ “open challenge.”

Match 7: Pat McAfee vs. The Miz

Pat McAfee vs. The Miz. McAfee on the attack earlier with a series of punches and hits a spinebuster on the Miz. He places the Miz on the top rope.

He does a back flip off the top rope and Miz tries to jump off the top rope and gets caught with a super kick. Miz pushes some football player in the stands and then the guy jumps over the barricade and levels Miz with a clothesline.

McAfee hits a moonsault off the top rope onto Miz. Pat Afee delivers a punt to the Miz that knocks him out cold as he gets the 1,2,3. I’ll give it a star and a half. It was just a filler match to eliminate some time before the main event gets started.

Draftkings commercial

Match 8: The Usos vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (Undisputed Tag Team Titles)

The Usos vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn is the main event of night 1. A video package is aired to promote the main event but not before a Turbo Tax commercial.

Oh and another celeb. This time they bring out Lil’ Uzi Vert. Just muted my tv. I unmuted my tv when I saw the Usos graphic show up on the screen. They’re out first lol.

KO comes out first and here comes Sami Zayn. Zayn doesn’t even want to wait until the announcer is done introducing the Usos to get it on. Zayn and Jimmy start off the match first.

Well at least until he tagged in Jey which means Jey and Sami will start this match off. They tie up as Jey grabs a headlock and delivers a shoulder tackle sending Zayn down to the ground.

They tie up once more as Jey grabs another headlock with Zayn delivering a Lou Thesz press to Jey. Jimmy tags in takes Zayn over the top rope. He rams him into the ring post. Jey with a dive onto Zayn while he’s outside.

Jey with a snap suplex to Zayn outside. The Usos have been controlling this match with crafty teamwork. Jimmy’s back in with the tag as he picks up where his brother left off.

Jey locks on a headlock after a corner splash. Zayn with a boot to the face of Jey and dumps Jimmy over the top rope. He tags in KO as he takes over working over both Uso Brothers.

KO with the frog splah for a 2 count. Jey Uso blocks the Stunner and hits a back suplex. KO is fighting off the Usos and goes for a swanton bomb but Jey gets his knees up as Jimmy lands a splash of his own but only gets a 2 count.

Owens with a couple of superkicks followed uy a cannonball. Zayn hits a brainbuster on Jey Uso as KO hit’s a swanton on Jimmy for a 2 count. Zayn heads to the top rope and hits an Uso Splash but only gets a 2 count.

Fans start serenading Zayn with the Ole chants. Jimmy with a super kick on Owens knocking him off the apron. Zayn hits the Blue Thunder Bomb but Jey breaks up the pinfall and hits a superkick of his own for a 2 count.

Jey with another vicious superkick to the head of Zayn. Jimmy follows up with a superkick. The Usos are ripping these guys apart with superkicks. Sami finds a way to kick out.

Another pair of superkicks by the defending champs but somehow Zayn kicks out. The dynamic duo attempt a 1D which is broken up by KO. KO attempts a powerbomb on the Spanish announcement table but it’s broken up by Jey Uso and the 2 come together to put Owens through the table instead.

The Uso hits the 1D but Zayn kicks out. Jey asks Zayn why he won’t quit and smacks him around. Zayn struggles to get to his feet. Jey delivers a Hel Luva kick.

Zayn hits an exploder suplex and KO comes out of nowhere to get the tag. Popup Powerbomb to both Usos. Zayn hits the Hel Luva Kick and KO hits the Stunner but Jey kicks out.

They’re doing a great of job creating drama in this match because they have me on the edge of my seat. Both teams are on their feet. They brawl it out. Superkicks to everybody.

The Usos win the exhange as they go for double splashes on Owens but KO kicks out. Michael Cole has been nothing short of excellent in narrating this match. Double superkick by the Usos to Owens.

The Usos get Owens up on the top rope but Owens connects with a monstrous suplex from the top rope. Zayn gets the tag and he has Jey in his sights for a Hell Luva Kick which he nails it.

KO with the Stunner on Jimmy as Zayn hits another Hel Luva Kick and he gets the 1,2,3! We have new tag team champions. 5 out of 5 stars. Nothing else needs to be said about this contest.

The Final Bell

I thought that night 1 overall was a very good show. The main event was spectacular and it was worth the wait. I’ll give the show 3.5 out of 5 stars.