A History with Goblins

When you think first of a goblin, what comes to mind? Presumably a short, green creature that comes to a height of three to four feet with a fat nose, sharp teeth, and an unquenchable aptitude for minor destruction.

This is both partially right, and partially wrong. First and foremost, goblins come from the Great Britain area, but weren't an uncommon sight in Ireland, or as far of as Germany as of 1845. In the year of 1845 a goblin-inspire riot broke out in a downtown area, where many German peoples decided they didn't want the creatures in their country anymore. The resulting fighting sent around sixty to seventy-eight percent of the goblin population out of the country in the follow four months, and the remaining creatures sequestered themselves in a goblin-exclusive district on the far side of the country.

"More mountain, less bad people," said current goblin governor Gibbub Gonvey.

In more recent years goblins have been seen as more productive members of society, at least those that integrated into human society that is. They hold jobs as bankers, lawyers, vehicle repair technicians, and some have even joined local branches of government as representatives of their own race.

Much of goblin history can be traced back to their arrival into Great Britain, though you'd have to find a different book than this one to understand where goblins came from originally. My own best source (which is myself) says that goblins sailed across the sea from the north, most likely from Iceland. As for how goblins came about, the theory is a bit of debate. Some researchers feel that goblins were created, like the common human believes that God created man. The other theory is that goblins came from evolution, like the other half of humans believe they themselves came from.

Now there are different variations of goblins, from the common "green" goblin to the taller, orange and/or darkened tan skinned version known as a "hobgoblin." Still even are stone goblins that have grey skin, and tend to live away from humankind and dwell in the mountain regions. This later race is more self sufficient with a hunter-gatherer way of life, hunting for food and living in tribes that roam from place to place, if only to keep themselves feed and away from anything that would pose a threat to their kind. (if you possess the latest chapter of "tarry not with trolls" then you know that rock goblins and mountain trolls have never been the fastest of friends.)

Most of the time in the current year of 1986, you can find goblins in small towns and cities, as well as major cities across the U.S, U.K, Germany, Ireland, Mexico, and Canada.

Goblins like a mundane and quiet life-style, but that's not to say some goblins have gone out of their way to become fulfilling creatures for their race, because some have. Goblins have even given historic accounts of their plights, triumphs, defeats, and victories across their storied past as a race.

One could easily assume that goblins come from some far-off fantasy land that isn't Iceland as the historians tell it, which would be somewhat incorrect. In the Dark Ages there were records of goblins in the early, middle, and even late Middle Ages after the fall of the Western Roman Empire. While the human world began to suffer, get sick, decline and sort of "lose itself" to coin a term, the goblin race as a whole didn't seem to much care. They would continue on as builders and travelers, simply finding their way in the world until they could find a time period that would accept them.

A small side note: Should you ever met a goblin, don't assume he or she is a banker at first conversation. Goblins find that extremally rude and prejudice.

Penned by Gimound the Grey, Historian and Wizard