A Fall Trap

Welcome to October.

We hope that you will enjoy your stay. I'm your activities liaison and I'm here to give you a brief overview of what you can expect during your time with us. As you can see, we're incredibly busy. Most people wait all year for us to visit, and by the time we finally come around, the elation at our arrival is palpable. As I'm sure you're aware by now, we've started opening our doors in mid-September because most people find they simply cannot do it all in 31 days. You're coming in late, so we'll want to fast track you so that you don't miss a thing.

Now, I understand you're a regular, so you're likely to notice some changes. We've been busy adding some new attractions this year that we're sure will enhance your stay. I'm sure you understand that we must constantly grow so that we may stay competitive. No matter what we offer that the competition cannot, there are those out there that simply cannot bear to be overshadowed and will stop at nothing to usurp the other months. I mean, just take a look at November if you need an example of what happens when your entire advertising premise centers around one meal. You make yourself susceptible to shrinking down into a single 24-hour period. An entire month getting eaten up by another. Is there anything sadder?

Well, that's no matter. There's no danger of that here. Like I said, we're adding new things every year.

You'll see that everything is bigger, and there's more of everything. Corn mazes, haunted corn mazes, harvest festivals, pumpkin carving, carnivals, haunted houses, theme parties, costume parties, plays, film festivals, scary movies, Gothic literature, Gothic clothing, Gothic anything. Gothic everything. Take a scenic drive through our mountains dusted with gorgeous colors. Hike through the brilliant foliage. Take a hay ride! Did you bring your allergy medication? No mind. Pay a visit to our store. It's new this year.

You want more scares? We've got them. They can touch you in the haunted house now. People come out with bruises. It's really marvelous, but please go ahead and sign on the line there...Great! You want more pumpkin?

I want to assure you, positively every meal during your stay will have some form of squash in it. We've found new ways to add pumpkin into things you didn't even know could be enhanced by pumpkin! Our chefs really are quite spectacular.

Oh! Here comes our marketing director. I'd better turn you over to him, but one last thing before you go. Be sure to check out out shop--it's new this year. Did I tell you about it? We have the CUTEST sweater dresses and gifts and souvenirs...We even have a photographer on-hand to capture your favorite fall moments. Our most popular background is you playing in the leaves with your loved ones. You did bring your dog, right? Well, Happy October, friend! Let me know if you have any questions about anything in the brochure, and let me know if we can get you fast-tracked. You've already lost so much time!

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Hello. You there! Welcome to Fall. You will find the crisp autumn mornings to be a welcome reprieve from the sweltering summer heat you've been used to. Get outside as much as you can. The leaves mellow into stunning shades of yellow, orange and red. They crunch and snap underneath the patter of busy feet. The smells of spiced tea, baked goods and dark coffee linger in the breeze. I hope you packed your scarves, boots and sweaters so that you may blend with the glorious changes happening around you. I'm sure our liaison told you about our store. Make sure and visit the photographer so that you can show everyone how much you're enjoying your time here with us.

Get cozy, because the days are going to be shorter, darker. Swaddle yourself in blanket with a book and a warm cup of tea. We have over six hundred seasonal teas, and you simply must try them all. With a seasonal pastry, of course! And the pumpkin spice coffees and lattes! Our baristas are world class.

Autumn promises the fortune of harvest. Enjoy the food and pay heed to nothing. The cold is coming and we want you to be prepared. It's ok to pack on a few pounds. No one here will ask you to strip down to your swimsuit. Unless it's a part of your Halloween costume, of course! You know what you're going to dress as, yes? And I hope you have your costume all ready to go.

Will you be planning your own party this year or attending one of ours? Or both! Regardless, be sure to pay a visit to our store. We've got all you could need to host a magnificent autumnal soiree. We have discovered new themes previously untouched. You will be amazed.

This month has been nine months in-the-making, and I'd hate for you to squander your opportunity to see it all. We've really got so much for you to do, so you must begetting started. Did our liaison talk with you about the fast-track? I'm afraid you may have missed some of our offerings already since you're coming in a little late. No mind, friend! We'll get you fast-tracked.

Take a look here. I've got your itinerary pulled up.

I have you at the corn maze this evening. You'll go through once before dark and once after dark--once it's haunted! You'll join the big group later around the campfire for apple cider and ghost stories. Tomorrow I've got you in an Edgar Allan Poe seminar until around lunch at which point you'll meet up with you Pinterest friends to spend the afternoon in the kitchen baking and cooking! You sure have been busy pinning. I think that may be all you have time for tomorrow. This weekend we got you two passes to the film festival and the harvest festival. Your friends will be coming for dinner on Saturday night, then it's a night of theater at the annual zombie play--your favorite.

Shoot, I've got another new arrival now, but I'll messenger over the rest of the month's itinerary.

Do you have any questions before I go? No?

Enjoy your stay, my love! There's no other month like it.