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A Drugstore Encounter

by Frank Macaluso 9 months ago in Script
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A ten-minute one-act play.

A Drugstore Encounter
Photo by Tbel Abuseridze on Unsplash

CHARACTERS

Logan: 20 years old; a college student

Hayley: 20 years old; also a college student

SCENE

A CVS in the Midwest, near a college

TIME

Present day.

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SETTING: The intimate hygiene aisle of a CVS store. It is stocked full with numerous types and brands of tampons and pads.

AT RISE: HAYLEY stands, searching for her brand.

HAYLEY : (sotto voce) Where the hell are they? (her search is fruitless) Ugh...

(HAYLEY begins perusing to find a variety of tampon close enough to what she regularly buys. LOGAN enters. He looks over the various types of tampons, then walks over to HAYLEY and taps her on the shoulder.)

LOGAN : Uh, pardon me, but could I ask you for some quick advice?

HAYLEY : Sure, I guess.

LOGAN : I’m buying some tampons for my roommate and I know absolutely nothing about them. Could you help me?

HAYLEY : Okay. Is she very physically active? Does she, like, do a sport or stuff like that?

LOGAN : He, actually.

HAYLEY : He?

LOGAN : Yes.

HAYLEY : Oh. Well, is he very physically active?

LOGAN : Yeah. He’s an actor. And he cosplays sometimes. And he does opera and stuff. He’s actually in rehearsal right now. You know, for the opera.

HAYLEY : Cool.

LOGAN : That’s why I’m getting these for him. ‘Cause he’ll be in rehearsal all night and the store closes at nine.

HAYLEY : Okay... (searches; grabs a box and hands it to LOGAN) Here. These might be best for him.

LOGAN : Thanks.

(HAYLEY turns away, back to the tampons. LOGAN looks at the box HAYLEY handed him, then back to HAYLEY. He stretches out his hand.)

LOGAN : I’m Logan, by the way.

HAYLEY : (turns back to LOGAN) Hayley. (shakes his hand) And before you get any ideas, I’m a lesbian.

LOGAN : What ideas?

HAYLEY : You weren’t gonna hit on me just now?

LOGAN : No. What made you think I would—?

HAYLEY : Good. You wouldn’t believe how often I have to deal with creeps trying to get into my pants. I mean, you’d think a small town in the Midwest, it wouldn’t happen so much, but it happens, like, every single day! Just today, I had some guy hit on me in the middle of class.

LOGAN : Which class?

HAYLEY : Finite Math.

LOGAN : Oh. (beat) That’s a weird class to try and hit on someone in.

HAYLEY : Yeah, well, horny college boys don’t care about place or time. They just want it and want it now.

LOGAN : Eugh.

(HAYLEY turns away, back to the tampons; she’s almost decided which ones she’s getting.)

LOGAN : What’s your major?

HAYLEY : Commercial Music.

LOGAN : Cool. (beat) How come you’re taking Finite Math?

HAYLEY : So I can do my own taxes.

LOGAN : Oh. Is it fun?

HAYLEY : No. Not at all. I hate it.

LOGAN : I figured.

(HAYLEY finally picks a box.)

LOGAN : I like your shoes.

HAYLEY : (turns to LOGAN) Huh?

LOGAN : Your shoes. I really like that design...the whole galaxy thing.

HAYLEY : Thanks.

LOGAN : And your pants. They’re very nice pants. You know, I’ve always kinda wanted to wear maroon pants. I just can’t ever find them when I shop.

HAYLEY : You’re probably just looking in the wrong places.

LOGAN : Hmmm...you’re probably right. (beat) Where’d you get those pants?

HAYLEY: I don’t know. My aunt gave them to me for Christmas last year.

LOGAN : Oh.

(HAYLEY turns to leave.)

LOGAN : Uh, I’m a Theatre major.

HAYLEY : (turns around; a tad weirded out) O...kay. That’s nice.

LOGAN : M-my main thing is acting, but I’m also interested in writing. Maybe directing, too. Who knows?

HAYLEY : Cool. Look, I—

LOGAN : What other classes are you taking?

HAYLEY : Standard Commercial Music classes—Ear Training, Studio Techniques, that kind of thing. Now, I—

LOGAN : Do you have a girlfriend?

HAYLEY : Excuse me?

LOGAN : You said you were a lesbian. I figure a girl as nice as you probably has a girlfriend or something. I’m just curious, is all. (shrugs) Who knows? Maybe I know her.

HAYLEY : I don’t think my love life is any of your business. I mean, I barely know you.

LOGAN : Sorry. I was just...kinda curious. You never know who knows who, you know? There was this one girl in my Acting I class last semester; turns out she’s Facebook friends with one of my friends from high school. You know, back in Chicago. I’m from Chicago, by the way.

HAYLEY : That’s nice.

LOGAN : I don’t really know how they know each other. Probably a theatre thing they did during the summer.

HAYLEY : Probably. Look, I—

LOGAN : Where are you from?

HAYLEY : (sighs) Spring Hill, Tennessee.

LOGAN : Cool. Is it very interesting?

HAYLEY : It’s a small town in Tennessee. What do you think?

LOGAN : It could be. I mean, I don’t really have point of reference, so...

HAYLEY : Well, it isn’t. It’s okay to live in but it’s no vacation hot spot.

LOGAN : Is it anywhere near Memphis? Or Nashville?

HAYLEY : It’s close to Nashville. About a half-hour drive.

LOGAN : Do you visit there sometimes?

HAYLEY : Not really.

LOGAN : Do you think it’d be fun? I figure it’d be cool to go down there just for, like, the ribs alone. Wait. Are you a vegan?

HAYLEY : (through gritted teeth) No.

LOGAN : Oh, good! Then I can talk about ribs. I don’t eat them too often, though. Just when they’re around. And, of course, the music scene in Nashville’s pretty neat from what I hear. Of course, I think I’d more like to go to Memphis. See the Stax Museum, maybe Graceland. Have you ever thought about—?

HAYLEY : Stop! Just...stop. I’ve never thought about going to Memphis. And I’ve never been to Chicago, either, so I don’t know anybody you know, and I’ve never been to Second City! Look, just what the fuck is your deal? I mean, I get asking me about the tampons ‘cause you’re getting them for a friend and you know absolutely fuck all about them, but normal people, after being helped, would just say thanks and leave. Why can’t you do that? Why can’t you just take those tampons to the register, pay for them, and leave me alone? Why do you keep with the questions? What, are you, like, writing my biography?

LOGAN : I just—

HAYLEY : Look, just stop it, okay? Just...stop it. Just leave me alone and let me buy my tampons in peace. Please!

LOGAN : Sorry. It’s just...I don’t talk to a lot of people.

HAYLEY : I could tell!

LOGAN : I didn’t mean to bother you. I just...I rarely ever get to have nice, long conversations with people anymore. Everyone’s so busy and I don’t go to parties. I get too nervous with large groups of people.

HAYLEY : And you’re an actor?

LOGAN : It’s different with shows. Most times you can’t see the audience and you and your scene partner couldn’t care less anyway ‘cause you’re so caught up in the—

HAYLEY : Yeah, yeah, I get it! I have actor friends. Look, could you please just leave me alone right now?

LOGAN : Okay. Sorry.

(HAYLEY turns around to leave.)

LOGAN : Was I too forward?

HAYLEY : (stops; turns around) What?

LOGAN : Did I go a little too far? I, uh, just wanna know so I can learn from this. Did I, like...was I too forward?

HAYLEY : You kinda were, yeah.

LOGAN : Oh. Okay.

HAYLEY : Also, you talk a little too much.

LOGAN : Oh. Okay. I’ll work on that.

HAYLEY : Good.

(HAYLEY turns to leave again.)

LOGAN : Can we try this again? You know, start off on the right foot this time?

HAYLEY : (stops) Ugh! (turns around) Look, I have a lot of homework to get to—

LOGAN : Please? I really want you to like me.

HAYLEY : Why?

LOGAN : I just think you’re an awesome person.

HAYLEY : You barely know me.

LOGAN : I know enough. I mean, now.

HAYLEY : Well, thanks...but I’m seriously very busy tonight. I’ve just got so much to do...

LOGAN : (hangs head down) Okay. I’ll...I’ll let you do the things you have to do. (turns to leave)

HAYLEY : (deep sigh) Fuck it. Come back here.

LOGAN : (turns back to HAYLEY) Huh?

HAYLEY : You want a fresh start. Fine. Let’s do this. Come on. Let’s just go from the top.

LOGAN : You mean, from where I ask about the tampons?

HAYLEY: Nah, let’s skip that. Just go straight to the “I’m Logan”.

LOGAN : Okay. (stretches out hand) Hi, I’m Logan.

HAYLEY : (shakes his hand) Hayley. Nice to meet you.

LOGAN : I like your shoes.

HAYLEY : Thanks.

LOGAN : Do you think we could hang out sometime? As friends, I mean. (beat; HAYLEY is giving him a death glare) Was that too forward?

HAYLEY: Yes, very.

LOGAN : God damn it! Eh, I guess I’ll just stick to having two-minute conversations with Sara in-between classes and let that be my daily dose of social interaction.

HAYLEY : Who’s Sara? Is she a girl you like?

LOGAN : No. I mean, I like her, but I don’t like-like her; that’d be weird. She’s my theatre big, Sara Porter.

HAYLEY : Oh.

LOGAN : You know her?

HAYLEY : No.

LOGAN : Oh. Well, I’m glad I got to meet you.

HAYLEY : I...haven’t decided yet on you.

LOGAN : Oh. Well, I shouldn’t keep you from your homework any longer. I’ll see ya later...maybe. Probably not.

HAYLEY : Who knows? Maybe we’ll run into each other in the hallway sometime.

LOGAN : Sounds cool.

HAYLEY : See ya later.

LOGAN : See ya.

(HAYLEY and LOGAN exit in opposite directions.)

(BLACKOUT)

(END OF PLAY)

Script

About the author

Frank Macaluso

A comedian. I may have made a huge mistake.

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