A Blue Kind of Ripple

Again.

What do you mean?

I want you to do it again.

Do what again?

That thing you do to me. Do it again.

Come on. People might stare.

I don’t care. Make me spin.

Full were her lips which fell instantly on mine, and I complied, and she giggled. My girl had elegantly proven herself to be a manipulative seductress, and I thought neither of the nearby beachgoers nor of the water that soiled so shamefully on the mucky ground. Oddly enough, my vicarious embarrassment came only afterwards, many years later, through an evocative reimagining of things. The St-Laurent River was undisturbed but biting, and we gazed from afar atop a bolster of sand before quickly turning back to one another. Her eyes were of a deep blue, and I compared them to the gleam of the sunset river much to her manifest abhorrence. My frail cheek was suddenly struck by the unforgiving severity of her palm, and a younger crowd whistled in the distance. Timidly ordering her not to shame me in public, I was quickly derided by the girl who wasted no time imitating me in theatrical fashion as her arms wailed about like an unruly flame. The whistles grew sharp, and my interest in her was lost as I stared into the faraway gleam. Fearing the worst, the girl tightly clutched the back of my neck, and my nose was overcrowded with tiny pecks as my body inexplicably grew numb, helpless as it had earlier been.

I’m hungry. Can I have your mana’eesh?

It’s all that’s left.

Oh, never mind then.

In a deliberate attempt to showcase poor subtlety, her bottom lip wobbled ever so slightly, and her eyes turned to the thin clouds drifting amid the blood red sky. The city had yet to escape immense economic stress inflicted upon it by the global crisis, and the two of us had been struggling to get by for quite some time. The wind blew in breezy style as the sun continued to drop, and families were packing their bags, heading to their cars, waving goodbye to the final days of Summer. Bella moaned while gently rapping her belly button with her fingertips, and I caved without thinking twice on the situation. My dismal excuse for a lunch became hers, and she snacked on it with a subdued grin that rose just enough to expose a faint dimple. If years of experience taught me anything, it was that food was the key to a woman’s heart, and nothing more. My own stomach rumbled at the sight of her munching on the bread, but it did not feel empty in the slightest.

Further out, by two round trash cans, two men were sobbing. Unless you lived in the West of the island, the drive back to the heart of Montreal could be a tedious one if your company was subpar. Although this might very well not have been the reason for their endless stream of tears, it sure was a factor that did nothing to help the situation. My own drive was covered. I had bella and Joni and Miles and Lana, and the road up Henri-Bourassa was appropriately long and winding. The two men took off, as did a handful of dreary-faced people, and all who remained were bella and me and a quaint crowd of partygoers who were piling up sticks and rocks for a bonfire.

Paint my body blue.

What?

I want you to paint me blue. Colour me like the ocean.

Why would I do that?

I want to remember this day.

I don’t need to paint you blue for that.

I want you to paint me all over. Like that song we heard in the car.

Are you sad?

No.

If I paint your body blue, you’ll just look sad.

But blue is such a beautiful colour. I won’t feel sad. Don’t you want me to look beautiful?

You’re already a perfect ten.

Then, make me go to eleven.

Who am I, Rob Reiner?

Je t’aime pas. You’re making fun of me.

Bella flipped her tired body on her side, and I ogled my girl’s silky skin while caressing what I revered to an inordinate degree – the bare legs with which she had graciously been blessed – and she quickly came to her senses. That was bella. Always telling me hateful things like Tu es le pire garçon que j’ai jamais rencontré and Je ne veux plus être avec toi, though she did not mean any of it. Her words almost always turned French when talking down at me, but this was how I knew them to be spiteful rather than sincere. More often than not, her cruel treatment carried on, and my caressing would subsequently turn into vexation. Beating me down with impetuous loathing to gain attention, here manifested the childish side in bella. Loving her regardless, here manifested mine.

The distant bonfire was nowhere near completion, and the fire in the sky turned a tragic blue. The wind, if any, was obscure, but the evening grew chilly, and she rested her weary head on my chest for warmth. Around the bonfire whirled four inebriated men in their early twenties while two of their comrades had their lips locked with whom I assumed to be their girlfriends. The place grew slightly somber, and I wondered if it was not time to return home.

See how depressing all this blue is? It’s cold, and we can’t even enjoy the beach anymore. I think it’s time to take off.

A little longer. I want to see them make a fire.

They probably won’t be able. They’ve been at it for a while.

Patience. Also, this blue isn’t all that depressing. We’re still at the beach, aren’t we?

So?

Away from all the bullshit happening back home.

Don’t remind me, please. I don’t want to think about it.

See? This isn’t all that depressing, then.

Is there anything that depresses you?

Of course. Many things. Nothing to depress me more than life’s lack of absurdity. That will always be number one.

Will you always remember what you just told me?

I guess.

No, I’m serious. Will you remember it until the day you die?

I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not. Why?

How sad a thought this conversation will one day fade.

It’s just the nature of things, I guess.

Bella, it’s like this day we just had. Will you ever remember it?

I suppose not. All the more reason to not waste it now.

Excuse me. We’re trying to get a bonfire going. Would you like to join us?

The woman had golden locks that reached her at the shoulder, and she was roughly a few years older than us. I conversed with the girl to compensate for bella’s ill-mannered lack of engagement, and each one of the woman’s chuckles I brought out had bella hissing like a ruthless stray. Her name was Ariane, and we shook hands as she knelt beside me to talk some more. Sensing my girl’s fury from the back of my neck, I twice endeavored to end the conversation, but Ariane persisted. Eventually, I shook her hand and politely rejected her invitation, and Ariane performed a nonchalant skip back towards her group of friends.

Amène-moi à la maison. Je veux partir.

What’s the matter?

What is wrong with you?

The girl asked if we wanted to join her friends. What’s so wrong about that?

Go ahead. Fuck her for all I care.

What are you talking about?

I saw the way you were staring at her.

We were just talking!

Bullshit! You were looking at her boobs. I know you got a hard on.

Are you nuts?

I want to leave! Now!

You turned your head. I was just answering her. I didn’t want to be rude.

No, you could have been rude. If you were, I wouldn’t be mad right now. You’re into blondes, aren’t you? I know you’re into blondes, asshole.

I’m not into blondes!

Bella suddenly burst out into laughter, and my heart sank in fear. Throwing her arms around me, she kissed me up and around my neck, and I sat still, confused about her unexpected change of heart. My arms were trembling, and the night became much colder.

You know I’m just kidding.

No, I definitely do not. You’re sick, do you know that?

Be honest, though. She was pretty.

Who?

Ariane. You can tell me the truth. I don’t mind.

I don’t know. I didn’t really pay attention.

Come on. A few of the guys around the bonfire are gorgeous. I can tell you that.

What does it matter?

I just want to know if you found her as pretty as I did. That’s all. You don’t have to answer, but it’s just a question. I don’t see the harm in it.

Sure.

Sure what?

Sure, I guess she was pretty, yeah.

I knew it! You prick! I knew you were into blondes!

What?

You were staring at her whole body. I saw you. You were imagining her naked in that polka-dot bikini of hers, weren’t you? You pervert! I hate you.

I was staring at her face! We spoke for thirty seconds, and she left!

I hate you.

Thrice smacking me in the jaw, bella wished nothing but to lessen my pride in the eyes of the remaining beachgoers, and a herd of laughter sounded about the place. Her fourth attempt at a slap was intercepted by the firm palm of my impassioned hand, and I shook her so the beating would cease. My eyes turned enraged as bella’s turned sorrowful, and the air was imbued with uncomfortable silence.

Okay, now I’m upset! Pack your things! We're leaving!

No, wait. I’m sorry.

Don’t touch me! I’m serious! Let’s go!

No, I love you. I’m sorry.

Get your things! Now!

The baby drops that trickled down bella’s long eyelashes turned into buckets of rain, and my sanity became overwhelmed with a horrid guilt. I pleaded for her to stop, but the girl was disheartened, and she hid her weeping face within her shaken fingers. The aura of the beach turned sour, and even the inebriated people seemed desolate. Enwrapping her arms in mine, I rested my chin on her forehead and described to her just how much I loved her. I knew it was what she wanted to hear. Her blue eyes eventually met up with mine, and we fell into an oversentimental embrace. Although the gang beside the bonfire was hushed, their mockery was felt all over, and my skin crimsoned in mortification. Their fire suddenly ignited, and beer cans were hastily guzzled as the women began to dance. While caressing bella’s wavy hair, I locked eyes with Ariane who was swift to return a flirtatious wink.

Do you still want to leave?

No, bella. We can stay a little longer.

Let’s go elsewhere.

What do you mean?

Come. I want to show you something.

I wished nothing more than to be alone. I wanted nothing to do with bella any longer. She was a wreck who persistently drove me insane for the most unavailing of reasons, but I followed her. I could not explain why, but I did, and we crept between the shrouded twigs and sharp thorns of the adjacent solemn forest before arriving to our destination. There we were, without company, without human contact of any kind. Emerged before us was a shore in isolation, a deprivation of visitors, an obtrusive slice of sand and water that was admired by none other than bella and me. As the luster reflecting off the gloom of the water presided over us, we crouched on the frigid sand and remained silent for some time. My nose was ultimately hauled towards bella’s, and my eyes shut in a trance. There were boats nearby, but they were obscured, and their motors roared wildly across the river. The breeze sharpened, and the sand blew in all directions as ripples of great strength assaulted the scattered rocks on the shore. The ground became a circus ring, and the thrill of sin overcame us both as enclosing shadows of all shapes spun uncontrollably about the place. Once the night’s fire extinguished, we took notice of the congenial silence. The boats had disappeared into the distance, and our lust for privacy was no more. We sauntered cautiously towards the parking lot where awaited our long drive back home.

**********

Tony’s going to be fuming.

So, we made a mistake. It’s two stations more. A ten-minute detour depending on how long we have to wait for the metro.

No, I know Tony. He’s going to be fuming.

Enough already. Come on, I’m getting tired of this conversation.

Okay, I’ll change it. How’s my sister doing by the way?

She’s good.

How’s the baby?

Healthy. Everyone’s good.

I can’t believe you two have been married for three years already. Managgia, how time flies.

It’s pretty nuts, yeah.

That bygone memory that had at one time seemed so ordinary somehow managed to invite itself back into my undisturbed thoughts. It happened every so often. I wondered if it was due to being alluded to as but an ordinary memory all those years ago. I wondered if I thought of her more often than I should. I wondered where she was living now, if she had a family of her own, if she was happy, if she ever sometimes thought of me as well. Adjacent to where we stood was a gas station, and I noticed the price to be unusually expensive. The boulevard felt overcrowded, and the outside heat was relatively dry. A dozen or so rowdy teenagers suddenly scampered out the metro station and headed up Lajeunesse in what seemed to be a drunken frenzy, and I snapped out of a profound trance.

When is your car getting repaired?

It should be done in about two weeks. No big deal.

I’m sorry I don’t have one of my own.

Will you stop already? Don’t be sorry.

Yeah, but now we’re forced to take the metro. When was the last time you took it? A successful guy like you. Be honest.

It was a long time ago, I guess. It’s like I said. No big deal.

I don’t think I’ve ever come this North of the island before.

You’ve never been to Henri-Bourassa before?

I don’t think so. Maybe once, but I can’t remember. What are we waiting for? Can we go?

Yeah, I apologize. We can go.

Are you okay? What are you looking around for?

Yeah, I just had this strange feeling about something, but I guess I’ve been wrong all this time. Let’s go back to the metro. You know, I used to come to Henri-Bourassa station quite often, but it’s not like I remember. There’s nothing here anymore .