A Bit Of ‘Salt’ and ‘Pepper’ In The Magic Cauldron This Halloween

The two Witch’s pugettes ‘Salt’ and ‘Pepper’ live happily in the Cambridge countryside in England with their ‘Vampire Mummy’, ‘Headless Daddy’ and the ‘Devil Toddler’. They live in a cosy little house with a crooked chimney, and a Magic Cauldron lit with fire all year round.

Their favourite time of the year is the 31 October known as ‘Halloween’, which is the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, where ordinary people would wear costumes and light bonfires to ward off spirits who were returning to their homes. Over time, this ancient festival has now turned into a tradition where on the eve of Halloween, people dress up in scary costumes and will go door to door in search of a ‘Treat’ or perform a ‘Trick’.

Salt and Pepper adore Halloween because Vampire Mummy cooks a fantastic pumpkin and chorizo soup in the Magic Cauldron, with lashings of fresh chilli, coriander, cinnamon, a frog and a few drops of new blood. The fragrant magic smell makes the pugs sneeze, grunt and roll onto their backs, wiggling away on their rolls.

The magic cauldron hoots, sweats and shudders whilst the Pumpkin soup brews away, throwing out the occasional frogs leg or chorizo piece, the pugs gobble up. At 9 pm, Vampire Mummy gathers the family in a semi-circle around the Magic Cauldron and chants an ancient spell in Old Gaelic. She finishes the spell in English:

Fizzle and squeak almighty pumpkin soup

Make sure she appears tonight to bless this group

To protect from the lost Gauls and Souls

Roaming the streets tonight stalking their Foes

Vampire Mummy then cuts her finger, letting a few drops of blood drip into the Magic cauldron. Her vampire fangs enlarge and eyes gleem red as she watches the pumpkin soup gobble up her blood. ‘Just a little bit more!’ she shouts.

She takes a strand of hair from Devil Toddler ‘Mooooomeeeeeeeee’ he screams whilst stomping his feet. ‘It’s alright darling, Hush, Hush…there we go’ Vampire Mummy soothes. She quickly snipes some brain cells from Headless Daddy, who doesn’t notice since he has a big kitchen knife wedged into his head, and puts all items into the cauldron.

Lastly, she grabs Salt and Pepper and shakes them both above the cauldron. Pink and purple coloured powder and glitter come out from the pugs, who jump back onto the floor and start barking at the cauldron. Multicoloured smoke starts streaming out of the cauldron and going up the crooked chimney, which give a loud shudder and ‘POW….bang! Bang! Cackle! Bang! Bang! Whoosh!!’

Fireworks start coming out of the crooked chimney, and we hear the gathering of a crowd outside our house who enjoy the fireworks spectacle. Salt and Pepper run to the window and bark and bark and bark. Suddenly, figures start emerging from the cauldron. An old lady with a walking stick, a bandaged man accompanied by a dishevelled doctor, some firefighters, a bloody cyclist, a fox with a burst tail, a pale girl is holding a dog in her arms, a couple with ripped clothes on and hundreds and hundred more….

Salt and Pepper run towards the shimmering guests and bark, bark, bark. As the illuminate guests walk through the pugs, Salt’s tail flops, and she runs away to hide behind Headless Daddy. On the other hand, Pepper keeps barking and trying to bite the ghostly guests.

Mummy quickly opens the back kitchen door for the departed souls to go and visit their loved ones or, in some cases, finalise any unfinished business. This happens on Halloween every year. Vampire Mummy, through inheriting the Magic Cauldron from a grand witch who was her great-great-grandmother, is magically bound to create a pathway from those who have departed from our world but cannot move on to the next. They cannot move on to their next destination because they haven’t had closure from their death.

The time is now 2 am, and the pugs are exhausted. Vampire Mummy slams the backdoor shut and puts some freshly boiled lizards out for the girls. She picks Devil Toddler up, who has fallen asleep on the sofa in front of the magic cauldron and tucks him into bed, which is a giant spider’s web attached to his bedroom ceiling. With sore feet, she collapses into a kitchen chair whilst Headless Daddy hands her a glass of blood.

All in a good night’s work, and may the lost souls find their destination. Until this time next year.