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349 Sorrows—Drowned and Otherwise

For Saturday, December 14, Day 349 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

By Gerard DiLeoPublished 2 years ago • Updated 2 years ago • 2 min read
A Jew and a Christian walk into a bar...

"Done your Christmas shopping?"

He just looked at me in disbelief.

"Oops, sorry. I mean Hanukkah. You have to get a whole week's worth of presents, right? One for each night. Gotta be expensive."

"So, my Christian friend, you only get your little shitlings one gift for Christmas day?"

"You're right. Seven presents—one each night—or seven around the Christmas tree on December 25th. Six of one..."

"...half-dozen of the other," he finished for me. "But it's not seven. Hanukkah is eight nights."

"Oh," I said, adding, "a Jewish half-dozen."

"No, that'd be nine."

"There are nine?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "You were making a joke implying a 'baker's dozen'—one more than usual."

"Oh, I get it. Ah, the mind of an accountant."

"A traditional job for a Jew, right?"

"Hey," I clarified, "I didn't say that, you did."

"Oy veh," he said, which I suppose was part of the joke.

"Speaking of traditional, do you get them traditional Hanukkah gifts?"

"We're Reformed."

"So?"

"They're not likely to get treats like sufganiyot or rugelach."

"That's OK," I said, "neither are mine."

"Or dreidels or Shabbat candlesticks."

"Not even some Manischewitz wine?"

"Maybe a bit; more likely grape juice. No, the Reformed go by tikkun olam."

"Which is...?"

"'Fix it,' sort of. Israel and God maintain Jewish faith by an evolving Torah, following this mandate to repair a shattered world."

"Shattered, indeed," I said. Shattered was just the word.

"Enough to make you cry into your beer," he replied. He looked down at his own beer. "It sure is hard to think of December 25th or any other date with October 7th on my mind," he told me.

There were so many new dates to commemorate our shattered world that I was losing count. I couldn't even remember all my kids' birthdays. Today's world, I thought, seemed to have bad days that shattered everyone.

"The Palestinians? What about them?"

"I guess it's hard for them to think of Eid with October 7th on their minds, too. How'd they think it was a good idea?"

"It was a really bad day for both."

"For everyone," he said. "Another round for our sorrows, Mr. Bartender!"

"Oi, vey!" I said.

________________

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

For Saturday, December 14, Day 349 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge.

366 WORDS (without A/N)

17 DAYS TO GO! THE STORIES KEEP COMING LIKE PRESENTS ON IN THIS 2024 STORY-A-DAY VOCAL CHALLENGE.

There are currently jolly Vocal writers in this 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. (Quiet as a mouse) Schäfer

• Rachel (Walking tinsel) Deeming

• Gerard (Christmas goose) DiLeo

    AMONG THE THREE OF THEM, 2024 HAS SEEN THEM PUBLISH OVER A THOUSAND UNIQUE, DAILY MICROFICTIONS. NOT TOO SHABBY.

HolidayMicrofictionHistoricalPsychological

About the Creator

Gerard DiLeo

Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!

Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo

[email protected]

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    Written by Gerard DiLeo