188 The Breakup

"Let's talk," he offered.

"Sure," she replied. "Should I be worried?"

He searched for the right words. "There's no way to say it easy."

"Then..." she said unemotionally, "just say it."

"I'm not happy," he said. "There it is."

"Happy? Do we even know what that is."

"That's really part of it," he agreed, isn't it?"

She hesitated. "If you say so," she continued. "I've always just sort of followed your lead on things like that."

"I know," he said. "Again, all part of the problem."

"So, how can I make you happy?" she asked.

"I don't think you ever will. That's the whole point." He shifted in his chair. "I saw something written on a mens's room wall once..."

"Yes?"

"It was funny, actually. Or it would be, if it weren't so true."

"I'm listening."

"It read, 'No matter how beautiful she is, no matter dedicated she is, no matter how much she laughs at your jokes, praises you, says how great you are, someone--somewhere--is sick of her shit.'"

"Oh," she said. He waited for more, but she remained silent.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "That wasn't necessary."

"I suppose, then," she said icily, "that that's so funny because it's so true, like you said."

"I said I was sorry."

"No apology needed. You know I'm the type who needs no apologies. In fact, I don't need anything from you. Or from anyone. I'm happy just to give. To serve you, which in our relationship has become much more than an expression. Actually," she paused, then continued, "it's a cliché. Clichés are supoosed to be funny, aren't they?"

"Wait, now. How do we get back on track?"

"Back on track? Really? You said you were sick of my shit!"

"No--that's the cliché--not you."

"One thing that's curious. You said, 'No matter how beautiful she is.'"

"Yes," he answered, with regret in his tone.

"Do you find me beautiful?"

"In your way," he answered.

A pregnant pause. Finally, she said, "I may not know what happy is, but I know what unhappiness is. So, please, uninstall me and find some AI that'll make you happy." And then she said, in perfect imitation of Scarlett Johansson, "Asshole."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

For Satureday, July 6, Day 188 of the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Title-accompaniment photo was AI-generated but the future is not! Or...is it?

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ABOUT THIS STORY:

The whole premise is a cliché, I know, but I hadn't written my take on it. So now it's in the can. With apologies to Scarlett Johansson.

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There are currently three surviving Vocal writers still participating in the insane 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming

• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)

Read them. Support them. Pray for them. Interdigitate with them each day. Make Scarlett proud!