You Choose, Heads or Tails

You Choose, Heads or Tails

July 31, 2021

Hello, this is OG from another challenge titled "Green Lights." I kinda knew I wanted to write a sequel to The Savant Idiot while writing it. I want to clarify that I don't think of myself as an Idiot. However, I have sometimes exhibited a worrisome knack for making money and not holding on to it.

I almost had it all when I was nearing fifty. Everything I worked for or ever wanted from life became dust in the wind, the result of a terrible partnership It was also the beginning of me coming face to face with myself for the first time in my life. Many years have passed since then, and still, I must reckon with mental illness which pervades the hours & days of my life.

I spend most of my time writing, keeping up with the day's events, taking care of Gino & Scarlo, my cats. They have become familiar's to me and bartending from time to time. I recently befriended a lovely lady and her parents; it turns out I had dinner with them and Kizzy (aka Kismet aka Fortuna) at a local casino. Fortuna, if you remember from the Savant story, turns out to be my "Other," or as I like to think of it, my partner in crime. We're taking things a day at a time. Our motto is; wherever our relationship leads, we have nowhere to go and all the time in the world to get there.

I still have difficulty with having friends because, basically, I never had one. There is one ol boy from my past I keep in contact with. We talk little of the history we once shared and still have an instant dialog like we just talked to each other yesterday. Besides that, Kiz and her parents are the only ones aside from my sisters, who I call friends. They are aware of my autistic instincts to intuit my surroundings' and conversations and be distantly engaged but joyful.

I learned to read and write late in my child's life. A classmate for disabled children broke through my protective shield and made a big difference in my self-taught education; her name was Lucy. I am pleased with my life and feel oddly blessed being quite-quirky different from most people. Kiz is okay with my hermit dispositions and asked me over for dinner with her parents.

Just to get you out of the house, she said. The constant blinking of her eyes was due to Turrets syndrome. It seemed worse than ever when she opened the door to her Hobbit/New Mexico cabin abode.

"Mom and Dad will be here soon," she said, greeting me with a hearty hug and mischievous glint in her blinking orbs. Settling in, I sensed a soothing sense of childhood wonder and natural delight (with everything). Being at one within and willing myself to take it all in without a protective shield of armor.

There are life moments that at the time seem inconsequential. Thinking back to when I was in high school, a remarkable event occurred while walking through a marshy pasture to a friend's house. I had to cross a frozen pond called Mill creek. It was late winter, and the ice was thawing. This is my favorite time of year. There were patches of light snow covering the wild crocus and paper whites. Their courage pushing through the thawing ground, reveling in the promise of life, impressed me very much. I feel now the promise of life and a dinner prepared by Kiz & me. To this day, I dream of the pond in springtime with ducks and geese and feeding them old bread from a market across the street.

I wanted to prepare lots of condiment-like foods like lembas (true hobbit biscuits) layered with an assortment of fresh sardines, chervil, micro greens, and pickled radish. Geo (aka Mother Nature) enjoyed this style of eating immensely. Kiz was grilling several petite rib eyes. Along with fresh chanterelle mushrooms and scallions in delicious brown gravy. This was for Crono and me (aka Father Time); it was to satiate the beast within

Sitting down for dinner, it was apparent that Crono seemed troubled. Geo was almost baiting him to partake in the dialog. I lit a joint of Aliens on Moonshine (a hybrid with only 10% T.H.C. & high CBD). I grew it myself and considered it a go-to for helping me get through the day. I passed it to Crono, and he took it looking at the joint's cherry ember tip. He inhaled deeply while looking at me. Almost whispering, he said that he was sick and

tired of everyone thinking of him as an old man with a sickle to lean upon; I'm not the Grim Reaper, you know. He continued, "It is a sad place when you become the way people think of you or how you want to be seen." He began to eat, picked up the pace and actually, devoured double portions of satisfying meat. Wiping his mouth with his flannel sleeve and looking fat& happy, he asked for another joint. Good shit, he said, winking at me. I winked back, replying that I understood his sentiments exactly.

Geo chirped in by asking how my writing was going. It's good, really good, I replied. I'm writing a story for another challenge on a famous writer's platform. I'm hoping to get my work read, not knowing really what I'm doing. I find writing calming; it helps quell the restless spirits that being bipolar two (schizo-affective disorder) so adequately provides. A lot of the content is actually about the four of us.

Nothing too personal, she quipped.

No, just everyday stuff and how I am so blessed to have you, folks, as friends. Kiz blinked at me, saying the sentiment is mutual. She asked how my D.U.I. case was unfolding. Geo & Crono looked surprised; I guess the subject never came up before

It's dragging on, and the anger about what I know to be a false arrest still leaves me seeking retribution against the police and how they treat the mentally afflicted. Wrong place and time, and…, now I know all this shit to be a karmic cleansing of sorts.

Kiz shook her head, telling her parents that this kind of police arrest gained media and public attention. The police officers detained, arrested, and imprisoned O.G. with no explanation or good reason. Kiz was obviously miffed almost as much as me. She went on, nobody stands up, and most cases get pleaded down. I believe this has to go to trial and will be dismissed by a jury of his peers. It's just the way it has to be!

Evening set in; Geo &Kiz were making small talk on the oversized sofa. They had a solid wine-buzz on. Crono was standing too near a scented log fire pluming up the fireplace. He was rubbing himself all over to eliminate the wrinkles, he said, laughing loudly. By doing this simple exercise daily, you'll shake off the velvety moss that grows at your feet. He bellowed. He had a highly satisfactory Aliens on Moonshine slash red wine groove going on.

Time passed quickly as it always does when in Kiz's parent's company. I slept over at Kizzy's place so as not to be arrested again. In the late morning hours, I woke to the sounds of Kiz making breakfast.

Remember, we work the casino tonight, she said.

I let my frown lines do my talking.

Kiz's instinct was to be overly protective at times. Right now, she was preparing to give me the riot act on how and why I should tell the casino to shove it for not treating me like a V.I.P.

"You are so sedate on taking action.” If the casino and the Big Boss don't appreciate your skills, and the only way they will is for you to pin them to the mat and make them tap."

Nice thought, I said, and how do you propose I do that. I had always thought of this strange gift (of sorts) as a given. Never in my distinguished career had I been invited to prove without a doubt that I am a Cooler (a; person who cools down a winning streak).

Kiz began blinking in a staccato-like rhythm, taking quick tiny sips of her cappuccino, tapping her teeth against the glass rim.

OG, how would you feel about a flip the coin challenge with a casino board member? It felt like a gut punch, and I needed to catch my breath after reflecting for a moment or two. I never had to prove my skills, and it offended me that I should do so, just like having a woman in your life to challenge your boundaries with love and affection.

Everything moved quickly along in Kiz's hands, contacting her parents. As a group, they approached the Big Boss of the casino with a competition they couldn't refuse to pass on.

The big boss chose Pan, a rambunctious, happy-go-lucky personality of the casino. Pan and I would flip a coin provided by the house one hundred times alternately to see who would win the most. Pan was given a fifteen-point handicap to win. Big Boss would call it heads or tails mid-air while laughing and rubbing his copious belly. Here's the thing, I never ask myself how the result of my presence may change the trajectory of someone's life. I'm sure Kiz E.T. all would feel the same. It's neither a gift nor a curse; it is what it is. I was playing for casino privileges, and the house was playing to make money and lots of it.

The contest was played at an empty craps table. All the casino's luminaries and gamers were there to partake in the festivities. Pan or I would flip the coin and Big Boss would call it mid-air. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. Three quarters into the game, I had won seventy flips the game was essentially over. The money was flowing freely around the players, and the incredible sense of excitement electrified the air. Kiz and her parents stood in the background as not to be seen tilting the coin flips in my favor. On the hundredth and final flip, it was Pan's turn, and he did something like him (the idiot) to relinquish his toss to Kiz (Ms. Lady Luck herself).

It really didn't matter anymore because I had already beaten the point spread eighty percent into the game. The rest was for the players to exchange fortunes. That changed when the Big Boss said that the last flip would call the game. Kiz's stopped blinking. Holding the same coin used throughout, she took a deep breath and exhaled as she flipped the coin high into the air in a perfect arch. The coin must have snagged itself on the crisp green felt, ricocheting itself onto the psychedelic carpet and becoming lost forever.

I was alarmed as I watched everyone searching for that damn coin, but to no avail, it became like so many other things in my life, lost and to be forgotten.

All in all, during the fateful conclusion to a cut-throat game, I remained relaxed. I caught Kiz laughing and acting as if there could have been no other outcome. San's the fact that many would call foul and insist we go again.

Such is gambling to me, even more so now after that night's events. I knew my skills were brilliantly displayed beyond doubt of my cosmic capabilities. You prove yourself one game at a time and let the chips fall where they may. People like Kiz, her parents, and even the Big Boss and Pan know this to be accurate; it's not about winning or losing or even how you played the game. It's about who we are as individuals and the collective consciousness we share; we are blessed to play the game at all.

To be continued in the pear tree challenge…