Yippee Yi Yo The Third

POW POW POW! PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH! KICK KICK KICK! “Hang her from the ceiling by the wits ends of her little blonde hair strings! I insist!”, screamed my younger sister with strong and playful enthusiasm, as they tighten the cheaply made yarn hair strings to the silver rusted hook that hung from our basement ceiling, that belonged to a five foot tall plush doll, who’s name was Yippee Yi Yo The Third!

My younger brother, younger sister, and I originally recieved Yippee Yi Yo The Third as a holiday gift from our grandfather, on our dad’s side of the family, shortly prior to his peaceful passing. However, I cannot begin to recall what holiday Yippee Yi Yo The Third was gifted to the three of us.

Several years quickly passed by Yippee Yi Yo The Third right in front of her dull button eyes. Ironically enough, collecting large amounts of dust bunnies in the corner of what was now our completely finished basement. She was lonely, bored out of her ever fluffy cotton-filled mind, losing her posture as she progressively droops forward, faceplanting onto the carpet floor of our basement. After hoping and praying to God face down that someone will come along and play, Yippee Yie Yoe The Third didn’t understand the concept of “being careful for what you wish for”, as the cliche expression goes. Suddenly, on a rainy autumn Friday night evening, Yippee Yie Yo The Third got her manifestation fufilled! However, it was a much more overwhelming amount of acknowledgement and playtime that Yippee Yie Yoe The Third invisioned for herself. It literally costed an arm and a leg for her…at least.

My younger siblings and I shared a swing in our basement that didn’t just have two armrests, but better yet, due to our favor, as the demonic and wild children we were, when our parents and elders weren’t looking, this amazing swing had the easy capability of spinning around in circles for what seemed like for eternity! That’s when Yippee Yi Yo The Third’s luck completeley went with the wind and gone like the dust. Holding her against her free will, i pulled out my Flip Camera, as my two younger siblings tie her with herself by looping and double knotting her flappy legs around the ropes of the swing.

“Are you ready for liftoff”, I anticipationally shouted to my brother and sister, as I’m sitting in the swing, making sure the flip camera was recording. “Back up”, I demanded, to my brother sister. As the flip camera was recording, I being to start moving in back and forth motions with the swing as Yippee Yi Yoe The Third effortlessly and flawlessly face plants gracefully into the basement floor, with her arms going in the multiple directions of the wind currents, created by the swinging motions, my siblings and I then take the fun to an entire new level!!!

CRASH! FLOP! BANG! CLUNK! BASH! BOUNCE! Yippee Yi Yo The Third is now hanging literally by a thread, bashing against the basement walls, knocking multiple overflowing bins of toys off multiple shelves, with her blonde yarn hair standing literally on ends. We continue to spin at the speed of a hurricane, laughing to the point we were breathless, video taping the entire seen at all the hottest angles of the wild, breathtaking, and astonishing action! At full speed of spinning like a cyclone, she finally completely lost her grip and flew right into mid air scraping the ceiling, knocking over our dad’s sacred keyboard onto the floor…keys first, and then WHAM!!! She hits the brick wall face first and flops backwards onto the floor like a coward.

My sister then punishes her by ripping out her hair, cutting it with pre school scissors you’d find at your local Walmart store, leaving countless huge baldspots all over her head. Then hangs her by the little stubs of hair she had left on a rusty, charred, silver hook hanging from the basement ceiling. My sister then bolts towards the hanging doll at full super charged speed ahead, latches onto her leg, swings from it as if they were Tarzan, and then I take off my headphones and just so happened to look up and hear an extremely loud ripping noise twice in a row back to back. After being startled, I see that the doll’s left arm and right leg is laying in seperate pieces on the basement floor.

“WE’RE DONE! SHOW’S OVER! HOPE YOU HAD FUN”, exclaimed my dad sarcastically as he stomped up the stairs with the doll that is now in three seperate pieces. I then hear an extremely over the top dumping sound and hear quite the grumble from the garage from my dad. Now Yippee Yi Yo The Third is now happily living in the landfill with her long lost fiance!