Families logo

Will he always make it back home?

The harsh realities of raising a teenager... combined with the anxieties of that teenager being a black male.

By Blairbie Published 4 years ago 4 min read
Like

I have been forced to come to terms with my oldest child coming of age. I don’t think that I had ever given the topic much thought before . I do remember how hard it was for me to leave him at school on his first day of kindergarten. The whole ordeal was truly overwhelming for me. I initially felt like he would not take it well although it was the complete opposite. I found myself in tears leaving the school grounds and also being one of (if not) the first to arrive to when school was out. This however, is a whole new type of overwhelming feeling. One that I could probably only parallel with the feeling of thinking that you’ve lost your child at the mall. The only difference is that it happens everyday, every time they are not in your presence.

(L)Jaylin at 8thgrade graduation (R)his first day of kindergarten

Over the course of about 5 months my son grew six inches. Those six inches would change my world forever. Not only did it make him 6’2, it made him a precieved threat In the eyes of strangers. My son has been wanting to go out into the world alone more. He wants to be allowed the freedom to grow up. Growing up is not what I have a problem with. My problem and valid worrier are, that he will be faced with a situation that would raise the probability of him making it safely through the door!

The seemingly most simple things can yield the most complex and adverse outcomes. I guess it’s like when you skip a rock on top of water. If the rock is not intentionally chosen with size weight and texture in mind, you lower your chance of a wide reaching ripple. It is the deliberate attention to and awareness of detail that boost the chances of him it back home.

As a parent I am already concerned about car accidents, predictors, bullies and peer pressure. I now have to be worried about the people that are literally paid to protect him,and how they may see him as a threat and hurt him. I worry about what he will or won’t do in my absence that may or may not make someone with the power/authority over him, make the split second decision if he should live or die.

My son is shy, he is quiet, he likes video games and Snapchat. He loves basketball and wants to study law when he goes to college. He sometimes turns in his homework in late and I constantly stay on him about his chores. He’s never been suspended and has won awards for perfect attendance in school. This is not what people will see when they see him. They will see a black man. A young black man they will judge and equate with whatever their preconceived definition of A BLACK MAN is. I have to tell him that he shouldn’t wear his hoodie on his head unless absolutely necessary. I have to tell him not to engage in communication with the police and if ever confronted to state his age and ask for the presence of a parent. That is what is most scary. The thought of him being presumed a threat and rendering him guilty instead gifted.

The fact is that he will ALWAYS be BLACK. The most important fact is that being BLACK is not a crime. The crime is that as a child he does not afforded the same protections that other children are. The fact is that even if he does everything right the chips aren’t stacked in his favor. All this very facts if were not bundled together would problably not mean much. Grouped together this simple facts could change my family’s life forever. Most importantly he is a child and just like every other child he deserves to be seen and treated equally. The simplest things make the most profound and impactful differences. The children get it. It is the adults that must go back to the drawing board. I was telling my young daughter about stranger danger and she innocently looked up at me and said “but everyone is a stranger at sometime so how will we make friends?” From the mouths of babes. Such an innocent and simple way of seeing things. We all could lean from the children. We must come together and work to embrace our similarities instead prejudging based on our differences. It always seems to be the little things that make the biggest difference.

Jaylin, 14 taken by Blairbie

children
Like

About the Creator

Blairbie

There are several components that make up a story. My cousin, the talented writer Jas Waters taught me... it is not about how it ends but how it occured, My story is not over...I welcome the journey as I continue to trudge!

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.