Why I Don’t Post Photos of my Child on Social Media

Social media can be such a wonderful tool in our busy lives. Connecting with family and friends, building networks and getting up to date on current events has never been easier. It’s our norm to document almost everything about our lives. We ate at a restaurant and have to share with our friends if it was great or awful. The recent events of rioting and protesting have got you all fired up. We took an amazing trip and have photos to show just how much fun we had. Our kiddo does something so incredibly cute we have to share. Where do we turn to share with our friends? Most of us don’t make a phone call or send a text out. We go right to our social media accounts; Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. That was me, until I had a child. Let me put this out in the open before I offend someone; I am all for you sharing your children with your peeps on social media. I think it’s wonderful you post about them because I know it definitely blesses others on your feeds. I’m sharing why I personally don’t, without hating on others for posting their children on social media. I know that can be confusing to you as to why I choose not to share my child with the social media world. The bottom line is; safety. I know what you’re thinking, your profile isn’t public, you don’t post bath time photos, all of your posts are harmless, etc. I get it, I really do. I had to think really hard about what I wanted my child’s life to look like in my home. And this is what I didn’t want; me getting an endorphin rush from others liking my photos and posts. So much that I am focused on the next thing I’m going to post instead of being present with my child. I can’t even imagine all of the things I might miss if I didn’t choose to put my phone down. I’ll catch my son watching me in my every day movements and I just think to myself, “What is he learning by watching me?” “What mannerisms is he picking up?” I turn to look back at him and he smiles! It warms my heart and feeds my soul to know he feels loved and secure. I wanted a typical day in my home to be my child and I, learning and growing with minimal technological help. I am so thankful for advanced technology, but babies learn from watching us. A live, human being; being present. They don’t learn as well from a screen as they do from watching us smile, laugh, and interact with them. I want to teach my baby to empathize and respond to other humans with warmth and authenticity. I want to teach him to be genuine. To be a listener, not just a responder. That is so hard to teach with a screen at a young age. What would he learn from watching me be on my phone? I’m sure there are some positives there, but I couldn’t think of any that outweighed the negative. So the bottom line is safety; keeping my child safe from me becoming a distracted mama. My child needs me to get my endorphin rush from watching him smile and play, not from getting likes on my post.

I read a blog post from another mom where she talked about why she doesn’t post her child on social media. She said she didn’t want to exploit her son for likes. To me, that was powerful. I have worked so hard to boost my self image; to learn to love myself. I have spent years reading and listening how to think better; how to become stronger emotionally. I knew having a reason to be more plugged in to social media could jeopardize that.

I used to wait tables in a restaurant. I can’t tell you how many times I witnessed a child begging for their parents attention while out to eat, and the parent was plugged into social media, ignoring them. I have even watched parents get mad at their children for interrupting their scrolling/posting. That is heartbreaking to me. Our children need us to be present in the moment with them, sharing in what they are feeling and learning. We need to be immersed in their life, even during the mundane.

Once I factored in the psychological aspects of what social media can do, (If you’re interested, check out ”6 Ways Social Media Affects Our Mental Health,” by Alice G. Walton, senior contributor, on Forbes.com,) added to the actual security threats of some social media sites, (check out “Social Media and its Hidden Threats,” on CSOonline.com,) and my own personal thoughts, I just couldn’t bring myself to post a photo of my child. And you guys, I am totally okay with it. Especially after seeing how current events are being discussed on social media platforms. For myself, I need to steer clear of all of that baggage for my family. I need to be able to think clearly, logically, and with integrity. I don’t feel I can do that being influenced by what I see on social media.

My baby is only going to be so young for a small amount of time. I’d much rather keep him sheltered away from so much negativity now. It starts with me. Being present, engaged, and full of joy with my son. The difference between happiness and joy is very profound. Joy is a state of mind and happiness is an emotion, often fleeting. I am joyful when I am unplugged and engaged with my family in our present.

I’d like to reiterate, I do not judge others for posting their family on social media platforms. That’s what makes us all so wonderful. We all have different opinions and contributions in one form or another. But I felt the need to explain why I choose not to engage in social media like a lot of people do. I’m not the norm.

Many have asked me why I choose not to post. Some have said off putting and even rude comments. Now they know. They don’t have to agree, but maybe, just maybe, it will spark something in them too.

Why do you post on social media? To make connections, to share positivity, to raise awareness, to brighten someone’s day, to let your voice be heard? I encourage all of us to evaluate why we do.

What is the purpose of your social media accounts?