Why I Don't Hate Abuela from Encanto

Warning - This article includes spoilers of Disney's Encanto.

Disney's Encanto has become an obsession in my house. We watch the movie and or listen to the soundtrack at least once a day. The catchy tunes and relatable storyline provide fun for the whole family. We all love Mirabel, Antonio, and who could forget Uncle Bruno. We sympathize with Isabella and Luisa, who are dealing with the pressures of appearing strong and perfect when the reality is quite the opposite. Both of Mirabel’s parents are amazing. We love the healing power of Julieta and the goofy yet authentic support of Agustin. The passionate relationship between a Pepa and Felix captivated us. Their older children, Dolores and Camilo stole the show, even with minimal screen time. The only bone of contention within our home and the general audience at large is with Abuela.

Abuela put immeasurable pressure on her children and her grandchildren to save the magic that the Madrigal family was given. She is arguably one of the most stubborn antagonists that Disney has ever presented in a family structure. Abuela clearly ostracized Mirabel, and it hurt to watch. In the beginning of the movie, I really disliked Abuela out of my compassion for Mirabel. Disney does a wonderful job of making Abuela out to be an unreasonable elder with unobtainable expectations. Abuela reminds us of our toxic family members and the feelings of never being good enough that they used to (or still) bring up in us.

Then, we see the Dos Origuitas scene. The moment is pivotal to the movie as well as in Abuela’s life. I could not stop the tears from falling the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth time I watched Encanto. While watching that scene, I was able to identify the intention behind Abuela's behavior. Abuela’s controlling behavior comes directly as a result of this moment of trauma.

Many say that unprocessed trauma is no excuse to take it out on the next generation, which is true. However, in Abuela's case specifically, I could not imagine her having the emotional energy or time to process her extreme loss.

Abuela crossed a river with a whole village of people. She escaped certain death due to her husband's sacrifice. She watched her husband be decapitated (machetes chop off not through) while holding her triplets in her arms. Once the magic went into the candle and created the Encanto - Abuela did everything she could to maintain it, with good reason.

Abuela knew the dangers that were outside of the Encanto. She not only had to raise her triplets alone; she also had to keep the whole community safe. The whole town of Encanto depended on the Madrigal and their gifts for healing, labor, weather, and general support.

As a mother of twins, who has a husband for support, I could not imagine having to raise three children by myself. In addition, the magical gifts that the children had were double edged swords. Pepa's control of the weather could lead to a beautiful sunny day, a light rain, or a terrible tornado. Bruno's ability to see the future was generally negatively received by the townsfolk (and the family). Only Julieta had a gift that could be used to medically benefit the community. Take a moment and picture what the family Madrigal might have been like in their younger years. It would be a lot to handle.

Yet Abuela managed to do it. When Mirabel says, "We are a family because of you," she's telling the truth. If Abuela did not have her candle, and maintain its magic, the whole community may have literally fallen apart. In addition, the dark forces of men on horse with machetes could have gotten to them and killed them all. There would be no triplets, no grandchildren and no safe haven had it not been for Abuela’s sacrifice and community centered nature.

According to Maslow, physiological needs are the most basic of human needs. These include (but are not limited to) food, water, and shelter. The Encanto provided these resources to the Madrigals and their community. The second most basic needs are related to safety. This is the primary of purpose of the Encanto, to protect its residents from danger. Abuela carried the burden of making sure her children and her town had physical safety. In her zeal, she put the emotional safety of the townsfolk above that of her children. Even so, I can also see the value in teaching her children some form of self-control and community service. In order for the higher needs of love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization to be met, the lower needs must be addressed first.

Abuela addressed the most basic needs of her family while neglecting some of the higher level needs due to her own trauma, which she never was able to work through. There was literal barrier between her and the place where the trauma took place. In addition, she was consumed by the caretaker role that she played in the community. When the magic died and the mountain broke, she was able to meet Mirabel and her younger self. Abuela went back to place of trauma and processed the tragedy that happened in a healthier way. She was able to drop her defenses and be authentic and raw with Mirabel and with herself.

Which brings me to the other reason I cannot hate Abuela. She actually apologized to Mirabel. Abuela saw the error of her ways and began the process of internal growth. Those who say that she should have done it beforehand have a short understanding of the effects of trauma. Yes, her overbearing ways created all kinds of emotional damage in her family, however there was still time to fix what had been broken. Which she did, when she apologized to the whole family in the song, All of You. The reconstruction of the Casa Madrigal symbolized the reconstruction of the family structure and their relationship with the community at large. Abuela could finally receive help and be vulnerable, even with the members of her town who she had supported for generations.

When I think of Abuela, I think of women all over the world, including my own family members, who are tough because they care. - Women who have festering emotional wounds that need to be healed. Women who are too scared to show any weakness because they believe that the fate of those they care about rests on their shoulders. - Women who need someone to challenge them. -Women who actually start to change once they realize that they are holding on too tightly.

To all Abuelas of the world. You've conquered so much, protected so much, and served so much... take a minute to listen to your heart, your children, and your loved ones.

To all those who can only see Abuela as a heartless witch, I challenge you to consider her life circumstances, her nonexistent support system, the weight of her responsibilities, and her willingness to change. Anyone can unintentionally damage others, even with the best of intentions.