Whether the child is good or not has too much to do with the character of his mother.

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Family education platform sponsored by Qian Zhiliang, teacher of Beijing normal University. Push an original article every day from Monday to Friday, dedicated to providing parents with professional and practical parenting knowledge and ideas.

The famous educator Froebel once said:

"the fate of the people is not so much in the hands of those in power as in the hands of their mothers. Therefore, we must strive to inspire mothers, the educators of mankind. " ?

When you conceive in October and give birth once, the bond between mother and child is unique. ?

The child is full of trust and dependence on the mother from birth. The mother's tenderness and delicacy and sensitivity to the child's needs and emotions have a natural advantage in raising the child. ?

Coupled with various practical factors, the mother is usually the one in a family who bears the main responsibility for educating her children, and she spends more time with her children, making the mother's influence on the growth of her children more significant. ?

Studies have shown that a mother's personality will have a profound impact on the psychological and personality development of her children. ?

The following three personalities are not conducive to the growth of children:?

A strong personality?

The main performance of a strong mother is:?

Strong opinions, saying that children must listen to their own.

Closely control the child's every move, interfere excessively and arrange for the child's affairs.

Make arrangements and decisions for your child according to your own ideas, regardless of your child's feelings and wishes. ?

Lee Yonan, a famous teacher from a famous Korean school, reflected on his education of his children in his book "Mother's letter of repentance" and used his own experience to describe to people how a strong mother raised and abandoned her children. ?

In order to get his children into top schools and stand out, Li Liunan forced them to do things according to their own plans in an extremely harsh way since they were very young. ?

She will fill her children's schedule, do the homework she wants them to do, go to cram schools she thinks are good, write the exercises she wants them to write, and read the books she wants them to read.

What Li Liu-nan says most about his children is:?

"have you done your homework? Did you keep a diary? Have you finished your studies? Did you do well in the exam? "

"if your mother asks you to do it, why do you talk so much? Just do it for me! " ?

Full of urge, command, control. ?

It was not until their children in the third and second years of high school dropped out of school and became "trash" who ate, slept, played games, and watched movies all day long, and treated her as an enemy, did Li Liu-nan finally realize that the previous excellence and good behavior of the children were all an illusion, and their problems were so serious. ?

In the final analysis, a strong mother does not regard her child as an independent individual, leading and controlling all aspects of her child's life and study wishfully. ?

Such a parenting model will bring great pressure to the child. Always be ordered, forced, can not make their own decisions, the child's heart is very depressed, in the long run, it is easy to have psychological problems, but also destroy the parent-child relationship. ?

On the other hand, a strong mother will create a timid, cowardly, lack of independent-minded character, and rely on parents for everything. ?

If children want to grow up physically and mentally, have a sound personality and be independent, mothers must restrain their desire for control and know how to respect their children. ?

Do not impose your own needs and goals on your child, learn to listen to your child, see his true needs, allow him to express his ideas and make his own decisions. ?

Grasp the sense of boundaries, do not interfere too much in the child's affairs, and return the initiative of growth to the child, only to provide appropriate help and guidance when he needs it. ?

An impatient, emotional character

I have seen a lot of news that mothers are out of control because of their children, which is frightening:?

A mother because her son has been playing games without homework, mother and son quarreled, unexpectedly impulsively ran to jump into the river;?

A little boy failed in the math exam and was criticized by his mother. He was thrown at the highway intersection and his mother drove away alone.

There is also a mother, because her daughter is not serious about online classes, thinking that she is useless when she grows up, so she drags her daughter into the sea.

The child has a natural attachment to the mother. If the mother is often emotionally unstable and loses her temper, it will destroy the child's sense of security. ?

Children will pay too much attention to their mother's emotions, get used to watching what they say, do things carefully, are timid, and are afraid of making mistakes. ?

In this state, it is obvious that children cannot devote all their energy and energy to external exploration and self-growth, which has a heavy psychological burden and affects character development.

When anger hurts your child, it says: "anger casts a long shadow, which is not only immediately lethal, but also damages the child's EQ and sociality." ?

The mother is impatient and emotional and will not communicate patiently and peacefully with her children. it is also easy to damage the parent-child relationship, leading to the child's rebellion and disobedience.

The official account often receives messages from my mother backstage:?

"the child dillydally at school in the morning. I couldn't help yelling at him. I really couldn't control my temper." ?

"every time I lose my temper with my child, and then I regret it, it's too hard to be a parent!" ?

As mothers say, they don't want to lose their temper, but when their children are disobedient, naughty and stubborn, it's really hard not to get angry. ?

Indeed, my mother is also a human being, and it is normal to have emotions. It's just that mothers should also be aware of how much harm emotional instability does to their children, practice their own mindset and learn to express their emotions. ?

First of all, mothers should always remind themselves that the growth of their children is a process of constantly making mistakes, correcting and learning. ?

When you regard every bad behavior of your child as he is trying and learning, there will be more understanding and tolerance. ?

Secondly, when you are emotionally up, consciously calm yourself down and think about how to express your feelings to your child in the right language and give him the right guidance. ?

It is good to be able to control yourself and vent your emotions reasonably; after losing your temper with your child, apologize in time and minimize the impact. ?

A mother who is emotionally stable and mild-tempered is like a "Poseidon needle" at home, which not only allows her children to grow up at ease, but also a blessing for the whole family. ?

A pessimistic, negative character

In addition to emotional mothers, pessimistic and negative mothers also have a deep negative impact on their children.

Mothers of this character are usually sad, always think the worst when they encounter things, are full of worries about the future, and often complain in front of their children and transmit negative energy. ?

For example, in the study of children, has been to convey pressure and anxiety to children:?

"what are you going to do when you get to high school with such a small score in the exam? You can't get into a good high school, and there's no hope for a good university. now the competition in society is so fierce that you can't find a job in the future. " ?

Always passing negative energy to the child will not stimulate the child's fighting spirit, but will erode the child's confidence and hope for the future, and weaken h