When and Why “Tomorrow” Is Never a Good Answer

“Tomorrow… tomorrow,” I said emphatically.

Sheesh, I get so tired of nagging and nitpicking. It’s as if people think they have to force you to do something you already had plans to do… only not on their schedule.

“Well, that’s what you said yesterday.” my wife fired right back at me.

Ouch! She was right, of course. Wives have a way of voicing displeasure with you without ever saying it face-to-face. The inflection in her tone of voice told me all I needed to hear.

“Yes dear, I’ll get it done today,” I answered.

“There, that ought to shut h**, Uhm, make her happy,” I thought to myself.

Fellas, after 46 years of marriage (actually 70, but that’s a different story), I can tell you what not to say to your wife. I can assure you that “shut up” is one of the top five things you never say — that is, if you want to continue breathing.

I usually consider myself to be a fairly active individual. If I have a list of chores I want to get done, I won’t procrastinate, I’ll get them accomplished. When I start one of these chores, I’ve already made sure I have all the necessary supplies on hand to fix whatever might be broken.

We are nearing Christmas, so there are plenty of chores for me to tend to, but, ironically, none of them deal with putting up a Christmas tree… not this year. This year, my wife and I are getting ready to move into our new home, on December 31st of all days. That means we are busy packing and weeding out the things we no longer want or need.

Goodwill and The Salvation Army have had a very good year, thanks to us. The number of clothes, tools, and a variety of other household goods we have given them will do us no good in our new home, primarily because we are downsizing.

Now it’s crunch time.

Sometimes, my wife and I have differences of opinion as to the importance of certain chores that need to be done. Today’s tête-à-tête turned out to be a minor utterance of impatience to get things done. I recognized it as such right away and reassured her I would get that specific chore completed.

The chore in question was to find out what kind of berry plant we have growing in our current yard.

After a quick 15-minute research online, I told her what I had found: It is called a chokeberry bush. Why there was such urgency to find out the name, I’ll never know. But, believe me, if it was important to her, it was going to be important to me, too. Come springtime, I am sure we will be visiting our favorite nursery to pick out several of these bushes to plant at the new home.

Ironically, I find it funny that, on the one hand, she’ll tell our friends she’s too old for “this or that,” whatever it may be. She’ll even mention she doesn’t buy green bananas anymore because she may not be around to eat them — yet she wants to plant a perennial shrub.

Enough of that drivel (Uhm, guys, don’t ever tell your wife something is drivel, ever,) I have to move on to my next project: cleaning out the tool shed and the utility room.

I am so glad to be close to having this move over with. But I’m kind of regretting it at the same time because I know the next step in the process means unpacking and getting rid of a slew of boxes.

Christmas isn’t going to be the same this year, but sometimes different is better.

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This article was originally posted elsewhere.