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What To Do With a Normal Child?

After Raising Two Additional Needs Children.

By J.B. MillerPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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What To Do With a Normal Child?
Photo by Shelly Pence on Unsplash

People used to say to me, "I don't know how you do it." when talking about raising my two kids, both of who have additional needs. My eldest has moderate learning delays, and the middle child has Autism. I would shrug them off and laugh. "I just do." 

You see, with them being my first and second born, I had never known any different. For me, the boys still being in nappies (diapers) at four years old was normal. My eldest only had about twenty words when he was nearly five, and my middle child chose not to speak often. 

Oh, don't get me wrong, there were nightmare days. Those days where poo was spread everywhere, and there was an epic meltdown or two. But you dealt with it and carried on. The only time I ever became overly frustrated was watching them not meet milestones. 

I would see their playmates grow and spread their wings. Become independent little monsters who left destruction in their paths, and I wanted that for my kids. Yes, my kids had additional needs, but they were kind, sweet loving boys. I never had problems with behaviour issues or had them scream, "I Hate You!" But that also meant that they were missing out as well. 

By Paloma A. on Unsplash

Then there were three.

I had become a pro at parenting by the time we moved to England in 2012. I was pregnant with my daughter, and the whole world was changing for our family. It didn't phase me in the slightest. I knew what I was doing, and I had a plan. 

Then my daughter came along. She was perfect! When she was born, she was bright pink and screaming the hospital down with indignation due to her abrupt eviction from the womb. In the hospital, she managed to turn herself over at two days old. That should have been my first warning. 

By the time she was six months, she had said her first word, which was Cat. Then Dada, followed by Ben and Sam. She refused to say my name until she was thirteen months old. That was when I went away for the weekend for work. My husband called me laughing because she was screaming, "Mama", as loud as she should on repeat. 

By then, she was walking, and everything was hers. "Mine" was her favourite word. It might still be. She was fiercely independent and wanted to do everything by herself. While the boys would float down the river of life lazily, she aimed for the white waters and falls. 

So, when people still asked me, "How I did it with two special needs kids?" my answer came fast. "They are easy," I would reply. "It's the so-called normal one that's going to put me into the ground!" Don't get me wrong, I love all my children, and I would give my last breath for every one of them. However, my husband and I have often joked that she would have been an only child if she had been born first! 

Right now, she is eight years old. She has life plans! She has told us that she is going to grammar school, then veterinarian school. After that, she plans to become an equine vet. At this stage, I nod my head and say the mom equivalent of, "Yes, Dear." That's because that child is a force of nature, and nothing will stand in her way. 

My mother must be laughing from the beyond because I know that my mini-me is my comeuppance. Honestly, I had it easy with the 'special needs' kids. My boys are so easygoing and good-natured that any of the negative sides of their development delays were negated. I do thank the powers that be that my girl is a good-natured happy child as well. Saying that, I quiver in fear at the thought of teenage hormones. They can turn the mildest of girls into monsters.

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About the Creator

J.B. Miller

Wife, Mother, student, writer and so much more. Life is my passion, writing is my addiction. You can find me on Linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandy28655/

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