What Should You Teach Your Kid Before the First Date
The kid needs to be prepared.
This is one of the issues that parents, or especially mothers, want to discuss. They are terrified that they will make a mistake about their attitude towards their child, who as if insensibly, has become a teenager.
He wants to understand if certain behaviors are okay, if he is not hurrying to take a step towards adolescence, or how they can help him not suffer from love.
Because every parent thinks first of the suffering and then of the support, he can give his child to understand his new world more correctly.
Sexuality, relationships, love, dating people of the opposite sex, the way she dresses or talks, the fact that she no longer has the appetite or stays too long to arrange her hair or outfit.
All this and many others now seem like equations with too many unknowns that he wants to solve somehow so that his child, now a teenager, suffers as little or not at all.
Psychotherapy or counseling aims to raise awareness and develop parenting behaviors that strengthen the parent-child relationship.
This can lead to a level of friendship and support so that we do not wake up with unwanted behaviors of our child such as personality disorders, eating disorders, belonging to infamous groups, starting sex too early, decrease in school results, etc.
The essential elements of the parent-adolescent relationship include two types of behaviors:
Behaviors to avoid:
• Don't bombard him with questions about the person he fell in love with. If he feels the need, he will come alone to say.
• Don't start telling him all sorts of severe scenarios or situations he may find himself in if he doesn't listen to your advice. They will teach him to hide from you.
• Try not to advise on: what to do, how to behave, how to dress, if the teen did not ask for it.
• Don't follow him all the time. Now more than ever, he needs privacy.
• Do not spy on him on the phone, on the computer, or suddenly enter his room.
• Don't slander the person you fell in love with. He may end up hating you for such behavior or, at best, not talking about his passion.
• Do not give him excessive amounts of money, clothes, car, or other unnecessary benefits just for the sake of satisfying the child's pride. He must know that his parents can support him but follow what he offers. If you teach him to impress his social or financial status too early and unrelated to his results, his self-esteem will have an unrealistic basis.
• View life as a kid. Remember that you were not born a parent and were in this situation at some point. That's how you think you understand it.
• Seek to become your child's friend through dialogue and common concerns such as a sport, a social activity… These will help him open up more quickly.
• Encourage him to try a relationship according to his age.
• Make sure that school results do not suffer because of the child's feelings.
• Balance the school results and the other activities you ask the child what you can offer him from what he needs now: time and money. This way, you will learn that you have to give to receive.
The conclusion: first of all, until he becomes a teenager, take care to become friends, accustoming him from an early age to communicate with you what he feels and the conditions he is going through.
If you have not been able to create a relationship based on respect and communication until the moment of your first love, try to consult a psychologist to learn how to create this relationship.
Otherwise, the parental authority, the advice, the punishments will only make him harden. Also, remember that an article never takes the place of psychotherapy or counseling.
I have listed only a few behaviors such as "yes" and "no," but for greater accuracy and professional opinion, it is necessary to consult a psychologist because psychotherapy must be personalized.