What is Perfect?

We go through life wanting everything to be perfect. The perfect dinner, the perfect date, the perfect birthday, the perfect holiday…. when does it end?

Now that the new year is approaching, and especially with all that has happened over the last two years, we should alter our perception of perfect. Yes, we enjoy planning the perfect holiday meal or decorations. We want to make sure we get the perfect gift. But at the end of the day, it is more important to be with people we love and share the special occasion. So, if the walls are freshly painted and you don’t have enough on your Christmas tree, don’t worry. Sit back and enjoy the beautiful memories with those you love.

Often, we strive toward being perfect to compensate for a sense of inadequacy. People who want to be perfect usually have an exaggerated sense of their own shortcomings. They typically received messages earlier in life that they weren't good enough. So, they decided that only by being perfect would they be beyond reproach.

Not being perfect can be exciting because it means that you have space to change, learn and live life with the wind in your hair, as they say. Or the thrill of your heart beating just a little faster. Sometimes imperfection can become the perfect place to be because it gives you choices. How can we strive to accept the imperfections as the “perfect” way to be?

Attaining perfection is definitely hard work. And while we are trying to get there, we often don’t enjoy the simple joys of everyday life. I think it has to do with the fact that being wrong and failing is frowned upon in large parts of our society today. It causes us tons of problems. It's often the case that we want others to be perfect. The waiter is not allowed to forget an order, a software developer should not have bugs in their software from the get go, the creative team has to come up with a new idea every day.

There are a lot of people that put a lot of pressure on others to not make mistakes so we feel that we need to live up to that. Failure is not accepted and perceived as weak. Flaws are frowned upon. Making mistakes is human though and we need to allow ourselves and others to not be perfect. Learning and making mistakes are inseparable. That doesn't mean we have to go the other way and accept subpar services and goods either though. It's all about getting better, not about becoming perfect.

I often find myself caught up in making everything right. I get frustrated if I don’t have everything done in a day, And I often stay up at night thinking of all the things I didn’t do or what I need to do again, but better. Even when picking out a gift for someone, we often don’t realize that people are happy to be thought of and if you buy a gift that is something that person loves to do or associates with, it will be a much better gift than just buying the most expensive gift.

Lately, I have been watching Hallmark Christmas movies and I always love the perfect villages, the tree lightings and the way everything turns out “perfect” at the end. Well, we know that this is not real life. Instead, we need to look further into these movies, and notice the little traditions and feelings of caring and sharing that come through most of all.

So next time you think you are not perfect, remember that you are not. None of us are. But when you genuinely try your very best to be kind, sincere and loving, you have in fact reached a perfection that is the best kind of all. So yes, we make mistakes, but at the end of the day when our families and friends know how genuine we are, they see us for the true “imperfections” we are.

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