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What I've Learned About Tantrums

Being Proactive and Having the Right Response Makes a Huge Difference

By Jami BrumfieldPublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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First, tantrums are completely normal for children age 1-4

Knowing this can help ease your mind in that this is normal behavior, but why do tantrums happen?

Tantrums are linked to frustration.

Frustration over not being able to communicate what they want. Frustration over not getting what they want. Frustration over not understanding something. Frustration over not being able to understand the emotions they're feeling.

Start by being proactive.

Recognize triggers that cause your child to meltdown. For example, do they get upset over their tummy rumbling or their overly tired? Be sure to have snacks on hand around regular meal times, keep them on a strict nap and sleep schedule.

Schedule = Security

Science has shown that children thrive with schedules, because they are not worried about what will happen next. If they are on a schedule, they know what will happen next, because they are building connections with routines.

Using these proactive steps will reduce the number of tantrums

... But it won't eliminate the tantrums completely.

What to do when a tantrum happens?

If you're in public, leave, even if that means cutting a play date short, or leaving a cart full of groceries. This was very effective in reducing public tantrums for my little one. She was almost always calm by the time we reached the car.

Make sure your child is safe and not able to harm others...

Then let the tantrum play out. You won't be able to reason with your little one during the tantrum in most cases, so let them work through the emotions in a safe environment.

You can talk about it afterwards. I have with my child.

But don't be surprised if they can't verbalize why they had the meltdown.

Resume normal activity.

There is no need to punish them for the tantrum, because they worked through the emotional outburst, without getting what they wanted... if you let the tantrum play out on its own. No time outs are needed.

They will quickly understand that tantrums don't get the results they wanted so they'll learn ways to communicate better next time.

I've learned that kids are smart cookies.

They figure out how to get what they want quickly, so rewarding them for good behavior, and not giving in on the bad behavior will reinforce positive reinforcement techniques.

Remembering Tantrums are a normal development step in children age 1-4

can really help. Then being proactive and responding positively will make a huge difference.

What tips or techniques have you used to work through Tantrum in with your little one?

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