What do you do?

I love my job because it is a unique, one-of-a-kind type of job. A job no other person can possibly have. Don’t get me wrong, there are in fact millions of people who do this job, but no other person can possibly do it as I do. Not in a boasting and bragging way either. Simply put, the role of Motherhood is something only understood by the individual. For it is true there are no two like people in the world, we are all unique, individuals. Therefore, my experience of motherhood will be like no one else, because my precious boy can only be fully understood from my eyes, angle, and perception, as his mother.

In many ways, the role of motherhood is one of the most underpaid and devalued roles of society. Some countries have a good value system in place for the mother to be off work for a given period to bond and connect with the newborn, making them feel safe and connected to the family life. A draining and taxing time on the mother, father, and anyone else on the support team or within earshot. Other countries have lesser values in place for raising children. The overall position description frequently changes and adjusts, even before the end of the financial year. The work certainly doesn’t match the monetary remuneration, but the emotional bonding, teaching, educating, understanding, and growing assistance given and received on this little person’s journey is totally worth it!

Sometimes this job can make me feel like a multi-functioning tool. Like a Swiss army knife. There are so many roles to perform on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. Certainly, no need for career changes, time will provide the skills of a new ‘job’ or task. Funny I don't see "certificate of motherhood" as a study option in tertiary education institutions.

At times I can feel like a janitor or housemaid. Cleaning up mess after spill, after soaked diapers to a house that feels like a sandbox. On the flip side, these are golden nugget moments to teach my son about responsibility and tasks. Not as child labour, but to help build his foundational ethos and self-discipline, some fundamental aspects of adulthood.

Now my child is a toddler, and so educational days can feel like intro to English or intro to Maths, shapes, counting, you name it. Other days can feel like an introduction to social learning skills and sociology or finances and engineering. After all the whole ‘how does that work?’ is a great question at any age! Some days I can feel like a science teacher helping to answer, explain or show reason to all the why’s, what’s, where’s, who’s and when’s. Almost seems like a mystery needs to be solved when all those questions are asked. In fact, recently my son misplaced his special important Hotwheels Mini Cooper. Yes, some days motherhood turns me into a Private Investigator.

Now, I am aware at present I am helping my son learn intro to Math, English, Science, and the list goes on. I am also aware how as he ages; I will be completing primary, middle, and secondary school for a second time over. There are also the creative arts and sporting interests to educate my son with, while we both share expressive movement. I mean how many people really get to work out while doing their work? Besides personal trainers, I can’t count many more. Bonus points for staying fit while working!

Oh, and did I mention the hours of work! 24/7 plus on call. I mean what kind of job does that to a person? That’s right Motherhood! It is truly a treasurable, special bond to share with one’s child. A job that doesn’t even feel like work, at least on some occasions. A job that is overlooked and even pointed at in shame when selecting ‘home duties’ or ‘child rearing’ on forms.

This is a job that should have the status of CEO of my house. Ask yourself, “Can I really be replaced?” Ask your child. This is a huge shout out to all the mothers and caretakers who have been struggling during this Covid19 pandemic. Life has been tough, but surely you have discovered hidden strength! I have learnt that while times change, and predictability cannot be a guarantee. I, myself, can be the predictability and guarantee for my child. As I mentioned before, while this job is a unique and special version between my son and me. I am also thankful for the millions of other mothers, fathers, grand-mothers, grand-fathers, extended family, tribes, communities, caretakers, and guardians out there. Just like other jobs with social and psychological support systems in place, we can bounce and lean on each other. While our situations may be different there are some key similarities in how to child rear and support the development of children into functioning adults.

Motherhood is a blessing, with a special touch, for what is learnt is then remembered and passed on. For me, it is the shaping of this young boy to become a fine man, who will treat others with dignity and respect, love and commitment, hard work and self-care, ethos, and equality.

How does my job impact the world? By making sure the tasks I perform are impacting my world, my life, my son’s life. The lessons learnt are the experiences, memories and knowledge taken further. I can pass on what I have learnt and gained from life thus far onto my child who can take the knowledge to a new height. I can share with other mothers in similar situations, whereby life falls apart, marriages break, and life gets hard. Life situations do not happen to inconvenience my son’s life, but to help him see how better systems need to be in place. Higher levels of emotional intelligence need to be accessible for all people. Education should be accessible for all people. A greater level of societal bonding, working together and being one. Proud to stand together. Equality. My job is not just a task or something to see to days end, but a role to help build up a boy who is part of the next generation.