Water world

Dear Zelinda,

“ This is a 4mo. birthday card. Four more months till you have to leave your water world and come to this world outside. You will have a big job taking care of your mommy. Just like she had a big job taking care of me. She is grown up now and married and I miss her a lot. I still get to see her and be your gramma; it’s just a big change for me. I know she will read you this letter. She’s a very good reader. She will read you lots of books when you get a little bigger, especially the men and ladies from the Bible. You are your daddy’s little shrimp, your mommy’s water baby and gramma’s little sweetie pie.” - gramma

You know how God says he knew us before were even born? Well I believe my grandma was given that gift. Who else had had the chance to find a letter written to you before you were able to take that first breath of life. Kathy Jane Metzger, I wish I knew more about her but that will be another time to come back to that. My world belonged to her. My grandma my mother , raised me before the world took over. That was her greatest fear, you ask why? The world from the beginning of time became invaded from darkness before peace and light could take its place.

Kathy was my angel and warrior sent down to fulfill her life dedicated to me, probably not even realizing that time would come. You see my grandma raised me and she was playing every role in the book of being a mother. My teacher, protector, and honestly there are more words to describe they just don’t even come close. Now before you ask, yes my birth mother was in my life to just not the way most mothers leave their children with their own moms. There was never a single thought to question why I lived with her or it being the other way around. I was just always comforted by the love I received equally from the both of them. Maybe more from one or the other when no one was looking.

Kathy felt like with me she had a second chance of life to make up for any past mistakes. She wasn’t perfect, doing what she could to make everyday fun for me and still kept me safe. Think of her this way. You know Tyler Perry’s Madea character? We’ll imagine her but she was a tall white woman, pearly white skin with soft brown freckles, honey brown eyes with green sun hues permeating rays from the pupils, (my mom says when she’s angry her eyes are bright brown and turn red. It’s fucking scary or maybe it’s her imagination she says) shimmering sliver hair, and actually knew the Bible. Also the way Madea wasn’t afraid to pop a cap, my grandma was ready to throw some hands knowing she had God by her side. Believe me this woman made me feel safe. I woke up every day to something new or the same and it never occurred to me the type of life or world we lived in.

I’m happy for the memories that were given from her, the world she made for me. There were times where it wasn’t normal or the right way a child should live if you heard the stories, but how was I supposed to know. As I grew out of my little world of wonders and treasures, I discovered more than I could imagine. Without the life I was given by Kathy I wouldn’t be here writing this today. It all starts with her and there is so much to tell, so why not, my life is worth sharing with the world.